Pressured to Do Well...Stressed Out and Disappointed By First Semester

College Life
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<p>I am about to finish my first semester of college at a small liberal arts college in New England. As my first semester of college comes close to an end, I am disappointed with myself both academically and have also struggled socially.</p>

<p>I was an all-A student and was considered a “star” back in high school. Due my academic success in high school, I was generously awarded a full-ride merit scholarship and admission into a honors program at the small liberal arts college that I attend now.
I currently have an A, two B’s, and a C in my classes at this college which means my GPA will most likely end up in the low 3.0 or at worst, high 2.0 (around 2.9, which would complicate things because my scholarship requires me to maintain a 3.0 GPA at all times). I am not failing, but the fact that I was awarded a full-merit scholarship and was granted admission into the honors program here means that I should be doing better (and I really want to). I am getting sick and tired of trying to speak to others and have them tell me that “C’s” are good or “GPA does not matter,” because I really want to do well here.</p>

<p>One of the main factors that I feel made me struggle this semester (apart from the typical time management, increased level of academic rigor, etc. reasons) was that I struggled socially at this college. Attending a conservative high school and being raised in a traditional, conservative family, I was culture-shocked when I came to college. I honestly never knew that my peers were so willingly to drink at the high levels that they do at college, make-out and hookup with strangers, do high-risk drugs, etc. until college. This exposure caused me to feel much anxiety, depression, disappointment in my peers, and worst of all, resentment of people back home (because had they not sheltered me that much, I would not have felt so much culture shock). Sometimes, it totally feels that I am the only person feeling culture-shock from common college social activities. Sometimes, these feelings make me feel that I am not mature other college students, putting me down.</p>

<p>During my first semester of college, I struggled to find my social niche and feeling a part of this college community. Whenever, I would express my feelings to my friends about never experiencing this kind of culture, and feeling left out, because I was one of the few people on campus who did not drink and was not sexually active, they often told me that I could simply engage in these activities as well. It’s not as easy as engaging in these activities in order to fit in. I am getting better at accepting a lot that goes on at college, but it still does not erase the fact that I am not doing as academically well as I want to.</p>

<p>Fortunately, during my first semester of college, I was able to do very well in my campus job as an IT Consultant and internship with a federal government department (which I hope I can generate good connections and references). I probably will be able to develop my own independent study in transportation studies (the field I want to go into) either this Winter and Spring semester which I hope will keep me engaged, interested in school, and increase my morale.</p>

<p>I need advice on how I can boost my morale after a sub-par semester and how to alleviate a lot of the pressure so that I can come into second semester more relaxed.
I need advice on how would I slowly separate myself from rather unsupportive friends or friends who do value education as much as I do? </p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

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<p>I also would like to add that I am trying my hardest in my academic studies: I attend office hours, make appointments with my professors outside of their office hours to diagnose my academic shortfalls, attend all of my classes (have not missed one yet), doing all of my homework and handing them all on time, and doing my readings.</p>

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<p>How many credits are you taking this semester?</p>

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<p>15 credit hours.</p>

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<p>1) Don’t get discouraged if your high school performance and college performance are not equal. I know TONS of people who were straight-A honor students their entire lives and then made C’s in college. College is more difficult than high school, especially if you are in a more challenging major, in a more challenging honors program. From what it sounds like, you are making your best efforts to do the best you can and I think you should at least pat yourself on the back for that. Chances are, you’ll most likely turn out a lot better than the individuals who are spending most of their time doing illegal activities, etc. As cliche as this may sound: always remember that your grades don’t define who you are and they aren’t the only things that matter to grad schools or future employers. </p>

<p>If you feel like your scholarships are on the line, I would consider retaking the classes you made C’s in next semester or taking summer classes at a community college (that is, if your school allows it) to get your GPA back up. </p>

<p>2) Having both an internship and part-time (?) job on your plate is a LOT to handle in your freshman year, especially when you are trying to handle a schedule of honors-level courses at the same time. Again, if you REALLY need your grades to improve, I would highly suggest cutting down your work hours. Maybe you can save work for breaks and holidays? Sometimes a little extra free time to yourself does wonders for your mental/emotional health which can in turn help improve your knowledge retention and studying abilities. </p>

<p>3) I also came from a conservative high school in a conservative neighborhood, so I totally get the whole “culture shock” feeling. I understand how hopeless it feels when you’re struggling academically and it seems like you can’t even enjoy hanging out with others. I would certainly not take your friends’ advice, because if you get caught doing something illegal, it could literally be a hefty price to pay. Have you researched any clubs or organizations on campus you can get involved in? Those really helped me get more good social interaction and meet new friends without the pressures of drugs or alcohol involved.</p>

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<p>Thank you for the advice, Btledfo. My job and internship requires me of a commitment of 15 hours per week max which is very doable. Plus, both have helped me keep my motivation high as I have been able to perform very, very well in both.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, I will definitely get a C for this semester.</p>

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<p>There’s alway next semester. </p>

<p>Learn from this semester and do better.</p>

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<p>Caroline16,
You could look into retaking the course(s) of whichever you got a C in to raise your GPA for the scholarships, if possible. I normally wouldn’t really recommend re-taking classes in college but since you’ve only got one semester on your hand, your GPA is going to be rising very slowly and it’d be easier to replace the grade than it would be to get A’s for the rest of your college career. </p>

<p>My other advice is to surround yourself with people you want to be surrounded with. Granted, I was not raised in a very conservative household, but don’t feel resentment. That’ll only be negative for you.</p>

<p>College is a very very different world. And by different, I mean yes there are people who drink until their livers die, people who engage in sexual behavior you may not like, and people do things you find inappropriate. But college is also different in the sense that there are always people who don’t engage in these activities and you just need to find them. If you’re very uncomfortable with those who party a lot, then slowly stray away and hang out more with the people you have similar interests in. Create study group or movie nights. Do things you all like to do.</p>

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<p>I would just like to point out that college is a pure learning experience… and I’m not just talking about from books, classes, and lectures. It’s a life learning experience. I’m not encouraging you to try things you feel uncomfortable with, but seeing as how this is a “culture shock” means that you have a lot of learning about the world to do. This isn’t really unusual behavior seen on college campuses, even in the real world if you go out. You could separate your closest friends to the ones who are supported and like-minded in terms of goals, future, career, etc. and keep the other people there for network purposes. I can assure you that there are several people I’ve met who weren’t pleasant (and also engaged in crazy behavior) ended up being the kids of some very very important people.</p>