<p>This is a really brazen thread . I thought some may be interested to share why they never considered a top prestigious college when the grades, record, etc. never came into consideration. THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR THOSE WHO ATTEND A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY TO FLAUNT THEIR PREJUDICES IN FAVOR OR ARGUE THEIR REASONS FOR ATTENDING</p>
<p>Why was it never a consideration for us? First a top college would take everything out of us financially. We would not qualify for need aid and our principles have it we the parents are responsible for our childrens’ college educational cost. 2. None of my kids were to engage in a profession which requires a top college education in order to go into a top professional school (doctor, lawyer,etc.) 3. I’ve seen many kids go to a less prestigious colleges and then go to a very prestigious graduate school (at an Ivy) , and this was what mattered in the long run for them careerwise. For us this is a more sensible path 4. It isn’t worth it in the long run, sweat, slave, long hours, take all the risks,- just so the government can increase your taxes manyfold and no one ever give you a brake anywhere because, well, you’re in the so and so tax bracket. TIME my dear friend, is the greatest gift in life, not money 5. I believe in the goodness of educators. There are EXCELLENT people in colleges out there who will do just about anything to help college students succeed and find the rigth path for themselves.</p>
<p>I’ve often thought that the Ivies, amazing as they are, might not suit students who are looking for some combination of the following: good weather; distance from the East Coast; merit aid; a cohort of bright, accomplished peers who aren’t necessarily staggeringly brilliant, uniquely gifted, etc. Really - an Ivy League school isn’t right for every smart kid!</p>
<p>My oldest d was accepted at an Ivy (Cornell) but turned it down because she wanted to put more distance between herself and her home town, and because the large, quasi-isolated campus wasn’t right for her.</p>
<p>My middle d might have had a shot at some Ivy or other (excellent stats; graduated first in a class of 360, a number of whom are Ivy students), but she didn’t think any of them were right for her. And, of course, she might not have been right for any of them (waitlisted at Duke; maybe she’s just too “BWRK” for the ultra-elite schools?). She’s never regretted that she didn’t apply to the Ivies.</p>
<p>For many, the same sort of reasoning applies for not going to any college:<br>
Much cheaper
Not interested in a career which requires a college education
No real interest in learning
Too much time, work and effort
Friends aren’t going
You can always go later</p>
<p>Another reason – the applicant doesn’t have the stats to get in.</p>
<p>I would also second the view that an ivy league school is not the best fit for everyone. My sense is that most of ivy league students are pretty intense and focused; not the best environment for many kids who are still finding their way.</p>
<p>Also, we’ve all seen discussions of what you have to do to get into an ivy league school, to fit the mold, take the APs, the right ECs, etc., etc. </p>
<p>With no ivy league aspirations, the pressure is off. High school students can feel free to pursue their interests and see what fits when it comes time to apply to college.</p>
<p>i feel that an ivy wouldn’t have much to offer me because my major is sooo precise and selective. Exactly no ivy has my major and even if i got in to one, i would turn it down for a less prestigious school with the variety of courses i want to take.</p>
<p>Another thing which can nix the deal is the fact that if you are working excessive hours in a stressful, demanding, pressure ridden profession- and have been your entire working life, and have spent 18-19 years giving your child all the advantages to be a success in life at no discount whatsoever, why pray tell, should others who just because their parents make $40,000 a year, receive a free college education ?</p>
Couldn’t afford it (wouldn’t qualify for aid and didn’t know S would get scholarship) and don’t believe in taking huge loans.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>S’s stats may have been good enough but a good chance not and didn’t want to waste time, money and emotional upheaval on it. </p></li>
<li><p>Most importantly S had no desire (even though he received a NROTC scholarshp that would have paid the tuition at any school he could get in) to attend. He was very content with his college choices available within our region (southeast) and had no desire to look farther.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Some other possibilities: Intimidated by the reputation of the school. Fear that you aren’t good enough to succeed there. Desire to be a big fish in a smaller pond. Desire to be a “top student” and fear that you won’t be at HYPS. Concern about “reverse discrimination” - worried that some potential employers might be intimidated or less likely to hire you because of your degree. Culture shock. Unfamiliar with the protocol or atmosphere of eastern United States culture. Afeared of those boarding school kids. Concern about looking like a yokel. Dislike of snow, slush, cold weather. Desire to see the sun for more hours a day than is available in January-May in Boston and its surrounds. Sesonal Affective Disorder. Man, I could go on for hours! (I don’t believe any of these reasons were why DD didn’t apply to any ivies, despite having stats that put her in the running. Then again, I don’t know since I don’t know everything she is thinking. Thank God :eek:. But I do know that she didn’t apply to one ivy out of concern that her significant other would feel bad if she got accepted and he didn’t.)</p>
<p>DIdnt like the weather
Didn’t like the “style” of the social interactions
( has been on east coast- but what is accepted is much different than west and she wanted moderately comfortable)
Didnt want to be so far from family and friends for 4+ years for socioemotional as well as economic reasons.
Knew many people who had grad degrees from Ivies, yet undergrad degrees from much less “prestigous” schools- even the ones who didn’t have grad degrees were very successful and satisfied. Didnt need to
Found a school that was excellent in her field- that gave excellent aid- small enough that she could particpate in various aspects of school & community and was close enough so that her friends and family could visit her at college</p>
<p>My sons, twins, have the scores for a possible run at an Ivy but have no interest.</p>
<p>They went to a school system with a nice mix of low to high income families and have always said that their friends with more money always want to do things that cost more money than they can afford or want to spend. They do not want to go to a college where they would feel left out of activities due to economic reasons. We are a solid middle class family with income around the 100K mark.</p>
<p>In addition, they are looking at Engineering and there are a lot of top 50 - 100 schools that are way more affordable and as highly ranked as the Ivy’s. These state and private engineering schools will offer them a much more diverse student body to be associated with and a high quality education.</p>
<p>The primary reason our ds never considered attending a highly selective college is that we never pushed him to assemble a resume which would have made him a viable candidate for admission. Having spent my entire working life in academe I have come to usderstand that happiness and success are not determined by what name is on the diploma but in how one matures and develops intellectually, emotionally and socially.</p>
<p>A few examples. Freshman hs year he was placed into Spanish 2 but knowing that foreign languages was not his forte we encouraged him to retake Spanish 1 in 9th grade and supported his decision to not continue beyond Spanish 2 after explaining the college admissions consequences to him.</p>
<p>We let him work as a lifeguard summers and hang out with friends instead of pushing him to summer enrichment programs such as CTY.</p>
<p>We encouraged him to choose his EC’s based on his personal interests. As a result he spent much time participating in non-school sponsored bands which created a good local following of teens but did little to pad the college resume.</p>
<p>We did not press him to prep for the SAT and supported his decision to take them only once and to forego the SAT 2’s altogether.</p>
<p>And while he has a good student, placing in about the top 5% of his class and we insisted that he reserve several hours each school nite for homework, we did not insist nor expect a strait A report card.</p>
<p>As a result he had a great, stress free HS experience. And because he had eliminated the highly selective colleges from consideration as a result of choices made througout hs, he had a stress free time during the college application process.</p>
<p>I think these choices have allowed him to thrive in the college environment. He came to value his choices during hs and entered college without a trace of burnout or super high expectations. Because he enrolled in a college where his inate and unenhanced(no SAt study/no resume building) placed him somewhere in the top 25% of the freshman class, he has blossomed academically beyond expectations and has found enjoyment in the challenges of college life.</p>
<p>Had his nature been similar to many of the high achieving students chronicled here we would of course supported and guided him differently. But that was not who he was and I believe that it has paid off given the fact that he is now a happy and “accomplished” college junior.</p>
<p>I’ve heard people say that they or their kids won’t apply to Ivys because they think the kids would all be snooty. arrogant, into fraternities, too homogenous etc. The Ivys are all very different from one another, and I think it’s wrong to lump them all in a group together. The only thing they all have in common is the level of the academic challenge, a characteristic not unique to Ivys. Maybe a better question to ask is why a qualified student would avoid very selective private colleges in general.</p>
<p>There are some very good reasons as many of the posters have mentioned for a qualified student to consider choices other than private selective schools. A family who can’t afford to pay the tuition after financial aid is taken into account is a big one. Tnere are also some students who are very sure that they are interested in a major that may not be available at the undergraduate level at some of these schools. One more reason I’ve seen people give is that if you live in an area of the country where more of the networking and connections get made through the alumni networks of the regional schools, that can be a consideration.</p>
<p>Second- or third-rate athletics. My d. is a future Division I gymnast, and looks at the Ivies (or their Div. III counterparts) as a place for athletic slackers. No full athletic scholarships. With the exception of Wharton, no business programs, and certainly none in accounting. Music at some of them is really “iffy” (relative to elsewhere).</p>
<p>And, for what she is looking for, why work so hard when there is an entire world beyond the classroom - year-round internships, community organizations made up of adults, business opportunities?</p>
<p>(For ME, none of her reasons hold much water; for HER, they make perfect sense.)</p>
<p>“THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR THOSE WHO ATTEND A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY TO FLAUNT THEIR PREJUDICES IN FAVOR OR ARGUE THEIR REASONS FOR ATTENDING”</p>
<p>BHG, do you really believe that students and families with Ivy League connections do flaunt their prejudices by writing in support of their preferences? </p>
<p>I did not apply to any school on the East Coast, but I find the thinly veiled criticism to be overly insensitive. Care to rephrase it?</p>
<p>“Second- or third-rate athletics. My d. is a future Division I gymnast, and looks at the Ivies (or their Div. III counterparts) as a place for athletic slackers. No full athletic scholarships. With the exception of Wharton, no business programs, and certainly none in accounting. Music at some of them is really “iffy” (relative to elsewhere).”</p>
<p>Mini, I do not think that this applies universally to every sport. I am not so sure that Dartmouth has many slackers on its Skiing and Women Lacrosse teams. The same for Princeton and Brown rowers, or Harvard fencers. Not bad for schools that cannot rely on scholarship moolah to recruit, but still leave quasi-professional teams in the dust. </p>
<p>And, as a small correction, you may want to include Cornell among the schools having an undergraduate business program. I have been chastised in the past for deriding --in jest-- its agricultural slant, but it is nonetheless a business program … or applied economics.</p>
<p>altho cc is full of cheerleaders for LACs, some kids would prefer to sit in a big lecture hall and not have to get involved in seminar-style discussions. We can debate whether that’s a good thing or not, but, like mini’s D’s philosophy, a large lecture hall makes perfect sense for those kids.</p>
But this is a thread about Ivy schools, not “very selective private colleges in general.” </p>
<p>The presumption that anyone with the stats who doesn’t apply to an Ivy is avoiding something is the kind of attitude that my kids found distasteful – as though the Ivy schools are so far superior to all others that anyone not clamoring to get in must have issues. </p>
<p>One of my kids (who had the stats) didn’t apply to Ivy schools because he preferred another very selective private U on the West Coast. He wasn’t “avoiding” anything; hard as it may be to believe, he really preferred the West Coast school for a number of reasons, academic as well as social/cultural. </p>
<p>The other of my kids who also had the stats but didn’t apply to Ivy schools hates the weather up there and wanted to play D3 sports, not D1, so she chose a very selective private D3 school in the South. Yes, she is one of those athletic “slackers”, LOL. Actually, my daughter is ridiculously dedicated to her sport and quite accomplished, as are her D3 teammates. But playing very near the top as a prep athlete exposed her to a whole other level of athletic sacrifice and dedication that she is not only not willing to make in college but could not sustain and also be successful academically. She knows her limits. Nevertheless, in her sport her D3 school has made it into the top 8 every year since before she started playing the sport. It’s very competitive, but D3 rules are D3 rules and that’s what she was going for–the opportunity to have a life outside of that sport. </p>
<p>One of the things that I have drummed into my kids all along is that where you go to college is less important than what you do once you get there. If a kid truly believes that, they find that there are dozens of wonderful choices out there, not just eight.</p>
<p>"Mini, I do not think that this applies universally to every sport. I am not so sure that Dartmouth has many slackers on its Skiing and Women Lacrosse teams. The same for Princeton and Brown rowers, or Harvard fencers. Not bad for schools that cannot rely on scholarship moolah to recruit, but still leave quasi-professional teams in the dust. </p>
<p>I bet they have tiddlywinkers, too. (More seriously, and from my admittedly very limited experience, I doubt that the percentage of skiers, women lacrosse players, rowers, or fencers that absolutely require athletic scholarships is “relatively” infinitesmal.)</p>
<p>“But playing very near the top as a prep athlete exposed her to a whole other level of athletic sacrifice and dedication that she is not only not willing to make in college but could not sustain and also be successful academically. She knows her limits.”</p>
<p>I think that is a really, really excellent reason to attend a DIII (or Ivy D-1) school. Some, of course, will simply lack the talent. Others will decide the sacrifice isn’t worth making. </p>
<p>Quote from Anxiouxmom: “But I do know that she didn’t apply to one ivy out of concern that her significant other would feel bad if she got accepted and he didn’t.” </p>
<p>Off topic, however I couldn’t let this one slip by…I’m sure you have a wonderful daughter, but I am so disappointed to see this type of situation exists not just on “The OC”, but in real life.</p>
(More seriously, and from my admittedly very limited experience, I doubt that the percentage of skiers, women lacrosse players, rowers, or fencers that absolutely require athletic scholarships is “relatively” infinitesmal.)</p>