<p>Are there any sadistic ways of preventing bike theft beyond using really secure locks? Like a seat that can be adjusted to run high voltage electricity through it? Because if someone steals my bike I want them to regret it for the rest of their lives. I’m being dead serious here (I hate people who steal things).</p>
<p>Take the seat off, so if they try to ride it, it feels funny.</p>
<p>Not really. You can do stuff to make it identifiable later if it does get stolen, but as far as injuring the would-be thief, I dunno.</p>
<p>hmm, well, whatever floats your boat.
but if it were me…</p>
<p>-hide a time-activated carcinogen-emitting capsule somewhere on the bike
-stay up late every night watching your bike while you’re safely hidden with a shotgun crouching behind some dense shrubbery
-spray-paint your bike in a color glaringly ugly enough to be seen from outer space
- plant a small dynamo on your bike to power a speaker system cleverly hidden in the seat playing a looped stanza of the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” theme song: your victim will helplessly spend his 4+ YEARS of college with that catchy lil’ tune stuck in his head… …torture if i ever heard of it</p>
<p>P.S. It should be noted that several of these options may impair your enjoyment of your own bike while you wait for it to be stolen…</p>
<p>LOL… 10 char</p>
<p>you could roll it up to your room each night…</p>
<p>You might end up electricuting innocent passers by who brush past your bike…</p>
<p>
Haha, genius.</p>
<p>dude, i would love to have a bike that played the fresh prince of bel air song whenever I rode.</p>
<p>do it 40 year old virgin style, take one of the wheels with you to whereever you are going.</p>
<p>LOL you guys are hilarious. Maybe you should dock at a crowded place on campus? I know in my school no one steal bikes in the school library where people come in and out 24/7.</p>
<p>Get a bike that is not worth stealing and use a bike lock. You don’t need a high end bike that you would use for triathlons…you just need simple transportation that you can leave out in the rain.</p>
<p>Take a wheel off and carry it with you everywhere you go.</p>
<p>put tacks on the bar handles so their hands bleed when they steal it.</p>
<p>Stealing the seat would be good, the bike would look stolen everywhere the thief rode it until they could find a new one,</p>
<p>Just make sure everyone sees you ride it naked. No one will want to get on that thing.(This method is preferred if you are overweight and obnoxiously white.</p>