Privacy (Grade my essay, pretty please..? <3)

<p>**Prompt: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? **</p>

<p>Maintaining privacy is crucial in protecting the individual and those that surround him or her. Several examples from classic literature lucidly demonstrate that preserving self-privacy shields others from severe harm. </p>

<p>In John Knowles’ classic novel A Separate Peace, Gene Forrester damages his beloved friend Phineas immensely by informing him of clandestine events. Phineas was a bright and young athlete, who had an elegant future ahead of him. However, a physical accident of him falling off a tree resulted in his physical disabilities, which would plague Phineas for the rest of his life. The accident, which destroys Phineas physically and emotionally, is only exacerbated when Gene Forrester admits that he was the individual who pushed him off the tree. Phineas, unable to comprehend and accept the fact that his own best friend was the perpetrator of such an incident, is overwhelmed and dies of emotional distraught. Phineas would not have suffered such a great deal of emotional torture if it were not for his best friend’s telling of the truth. If Gene had just kept such matters private, he would have saved Phineas from this maudlin infliction. Thus,A Separate Peace proves that perpetuating privacy in certain matters will only shield others from the sorrow and disbelief which should never have been inflicted.</p>

<p>Throughout the classic novel The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield, a vivacious student at Pency Prep, divulges his private opinions regarding others to his fellow classmates. Holden directly informs the truth about his classmates, explicitly stating their ostensible flaws. Despite Holden’s efforts at being candid, many of his comrades are pierced emotionally by his unneeded truths, and they resent him. As a result, Holden’s truth and destruction of self-privacy is detrimental to both the others around him, and also himself. If Holden had preserved his own privacy and kept his own opinions to himself, he would have saved his classmates and himself from emotional infliction. Thus, the events in The Catcher in the Rye prove that privacy is key to the protection of individuals that surround oneself. </p>

<p>After carefully analyzing the events of A Separate Peace and The Catcher in the Rye, one can now see that the preservation of privacy is indeed crucial to the protection of the individuals which surround him or her. When such privacy is broken, others or harmed or even killed. Maintaining privacy is the only way to prevent such detriments.</p>

<p>anyone?..</p>

<p>anyone want to score my essay/give some input?</p>

<p>bump10char</p>

<p>Well, ok, since there’s been no one as of yet.</p>

<p>Umm, first, I’m assuming this is a college admissions essay, okay?</p>

<p>For college admissions, this doesn’t reflect what I believe they’d look for at all, you don’t express any of your own opinion in the matter, no personal experience, etc. In short, it’s extremely, uh, cold? Like not personal.</p>

<p>If this was an essay for English Lit or something, it’s a fair piece of work.</p>

<p>However, one thing you never addressed was the other side of the argument, how can you counter the people that say privacy protection is unnecessary? You should at least give some mention whether or not this is a English Lit essay or not, I think.</p>

<p>I’m no teacher, I’m just another AP Eng student, but if this were an English Lit essay, I’d probably give it something in the “B” range. If this is a college app essay, this, I believe, really wouldn’t work at all.</p>

<p>Oh, and my reasons for the “B”, it’s because you don’t make counter-arguments, for the most part. You might ask how you can do that in a Lit essay, and I’d answer that you bring up texts where they have a theme of “being honest and open” and then point out why their argument may be flawed.</p>

<p>I hope this helps some.</p>

<p>5/6 because its good but not outstanding</p>

<p>Mike, this is for the SAT I essay section of the SAT, which is why it is in the “SAT Preparation” section.</p>

<p>Holy damn, that’s a lot to write in 25min. I wasn’t really looking, but I think it’d be an easy 12 of 12 even if you don’t address the other side because I don’t believe readers seriously read it. Even if they do, I think you’d get 10-11/12. Hopefully you have good handwriting too.</p>

<p>Impressive. 12.</p>