problem with reccomendations!! What do I do?

<p>Most of my friends have asked four teachers to write their reccomendations. They figure they'll read them all and send the best two in. </p>

<p>I asked three teachers to write mine. Math, French, and Poetry teacher. HOWEVER, my math teacher just asked me to get her some addressed envelopes. THIS MEANS THAT I WON'T GET TO SEE WHAT SHE WROTE. It's not that she will not write something nice, it's just that I think the other two will be better. </p>

<p>What should I do? Is it bad to send in three recs?</p>

<p>HELP!!!!</p>

<p>KAtie</p>

<p>When you ask to get a rec, you need to ask in a way like "will you be able to give me a good rec for college?" Even without asking, any ethical teacher will tell you ahead if they cannot give you a good rec and allow you to try to find another teacher who will. I'd simply give her the envelopes and ask very politely that you'd like to confirm that she feels comfortable in giving you a good reccomendation.</p>

<p>After that don't worry. If the math one is not as good, it will be balanced by the good one. It is usually important to show rec's for a math/science and a English language. I'd only give 3 rec's if the third one is an activity you are particularly accomplished in or have EC involvement in.</p>

<p>Your school handles this process very poorly. Students should never see the reccomendations, and should never ask teachers to write rec's that won't be sent.</p>

<p>my poetry teacher is also my advisor for student council.</p>

<p>1) First of all, you're not even supposed to ever see your recommendations
2) you're not supposed to see them especially BEFORE sending them in
3) You're NOT supposed to be comparing them against other recommendations and sending the best ones in. If this is found out, the worst colleges can do is probably rescind your admittance.</p>

<p>Honestly, I don't know what you're doing/thinking. Recommendations are supposed to be completely confidential and private. Not only did you not give your teachers the proper respect in asking for a recommendation (by providing them with ALL the materials they would need ie: addressed envelopes, and asking only for recommendations that WILL be sent), you assume that you have the right, as a student, to sit there and pick out the best ones to send and throw away the "not-so-good" recommendations. </p>

<p>I don't know how your school works but if we ever did that to any of our teachers, we won't be receiving too nice of a recommendation - if one at all.</p>

<p>amen to that.</p>

<p>my french teacher gave me a copy of my rec. already. she asked if there was anything i wanted to add. clearly our schools do things differenty. sorry you are upset, but we look at reccomendations not as something confidential. why send in a bad rec? perhaps a teacher can't write well. it happens all the time. at least i didn't ask four teachers.</p>

<p>-sigh- and this is why the whole college application process has gone down the s***hole................</p>

<p>Ok I just wanted to throw in my two cents about the whole "seeing your recommendations" thing. The waiver you sign on the rec form means that you cannot ask the college that you send it to to see the recomendation. It does not mean that the teacher cannot show it to you if they want. I know in my case, I signed the waiver and even gave my teacher stamped envelopes so she could just send it in, but she sent me a copy anyway even without my asking to see it. This is the general practice for teachers at my school. It doesn't mean the rec is any less trustworthy, and it's not the reason "college admissions are going down the s*** hole." At my school, it is assumed that if a teacher agrees to write a rec, then it will be a positive one, so what's the harm in seeing it if they just want to show us what they wrote? </p>

<p>HOWEVER, I absolutely do not think students should compare recs to decide which ones to send it. Teachers put a lot of time and effort into recs, and popular teachers have to write many of them. It's definitely not in the job description and they are doing it because they want to help you. Not sending in their rec is a slap in the face and a big waste of their time. If you thought your math teacher wouldn't write as good a rec as the other two, why did you ask her in the first place?</p>

<p>I agree that comparing recs is not only unfair to other applicants, but also to the teacher who took their time to write the rec. The reading part i guess, is ok, if the teacher lets you</p>

<p>why can't you send three? most schools will accept three.</p>

<p>I'm against seeing them also. This makes the teacher feel pressured to write only good things and in turn, they are not as honest. Be glad that the college doesn't know that you're doing this, because if they knew, they probably wouldn't value your teacher's opinions as much. </p>

<p>And yes, comparing them is awful for the teacher. You're wasting their time when they're trying to do something nice for you!</p>

<p>in response to not seeing your recs...my math teacher writes you the rec. puts it in a sealed envelope and then gives you that and a copy of what he wrote so just in case you dont feel what he wrote will help you, you can not send it and he will never know whether you used it or not unless you tell him</p>

<p>I agree with those who think that asking 4 teachers to write recommendations and then sending the best 2 is just wrong. As a person who has written recommendations for students, I can tell you that it takes a lot of time. </p>

<p>What your friends are doing (and what you are considering doing) is the same as if a teacher told you that they were going to submit something by you to a contest, and then the teacher asked you to write an essay to go along with the submission. How would you feel if instead of sending the essay, the teacher tossed it out because the teacher had told 4 students the same thing, but was only allowed to send 1 essay? </p>

<p>If the teachers hear about what your friends are doing, what could happen is that not only would the teachers stop showing students their recommendations (and the teachers have absolutely no obligation to show recommendations), but the teachers could choose to call the colleges and let the adcoms know about the students' lack of integrity.</p>

<p>Most teachers will -- if you ask them -- let you know what they would write on a recommendation. If you don't like what they would say, then it's fine to ask someone else instead of them. It's not fine, however, to ask teachers for a recommendation and then to not send it for the kind of reason that you described. No reason to waste 2 of four teachers' time. To do so is really selfish.</p>