<p>Faced with the fast pace of growing up today, some students are clearly distressed, engaging in binge drinking and other self-destructive behaviors. Counseling services of secondary schools and colleges have expanded in response to greatly increased demand. It is common to encounter even the most successful students, who have won all the “prizes,” stepping back and wondering if it was all worth it. Professionals in their thirties and forties—physicians, lawyers, academics, business people and others—sometimes give the impression that they are dazed survivors of some bewildering life-long boot-camp. Some say they ended up in their profession because of someone else’s expectations, or that they simply drifted into it without pausing to think whether they really loved their work. Often they say they missed their youth entirely, never living in the present, always pursuing some ill-defined future goal."</p>
<p>“The good news is that students themselves offer helpful suggestions about how best to handle the challenges they face. In part because of all the obstacles that confront them from the earliest stages of their lives, this generation has emerged generally more mature, sophisticated, and, at their best, better prepared to cope with the demands of the twenty-first century. They learn at an early age how to cope with both victory and defeat and with the formidable demands placed on them by adults and peers. Yet many would benefit from a pause in their demanding lives. Let us hope that more of them will take some sort of time-out before burn-out becomes the hallmark of their generation.”</p>
<p>No, Lazybum made clear that her son went to MIT as a 14-year-old grad student. He did not attend MIT as an undergrad. (Lazybum has said that his MIT mentors had previously urged him to attend MIT as an undergrad when he was even younger, but his parents decided he should stay home with them and attend a local college for undergrad and then have a gap year, during which he ran his own business, before he entered MIT as a grad student at age 14!)</p>
<p>Though you might not have meant it to come off this way, that again seems like a rude comment to me and I’m noting this just in case you are sending off vibes you don’t intend to (as I know I have had some people read me incorrectly years ago and welcomed the chance to clarify my meaning). Naturally I don’t have all the answers. What I am trying to do is share facts as well as opinions rather than only opinions.</p>
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<p>I hope that is good luck rather than bad luck, and will consider that to be what you meant and so, thanks. My favorite wish to people is actually that they don’t need luck, though I realize nobody is ever hurt by good luck and always welcome positive vibes/wishes.</p>
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<p>When our son was 11 and we met with the 17-year-old senior at MIT who started there at age 14 and was insisting that what educational path our son took wouldn’t matter but that he live alone by age 14 would, I also thought, “No way is our son living on his own at age 14. That would be nuts.”</p>
<p>When you live with someone who is handling their finances well (indeed, it was our son at age 6 was the first in our family to read about Roth IRAs - he picked up a brochure on them while waiting for me to make a deposit at the bank and suggested we ALL get our own, and while I wouldn’t find that alone evidence that he could live on his own at age 6, it was a continuation in this sort of financial savvy that made me feel he was financially more mature than most middle-aged adults by the time he was 13), mature socially in difficult situations, getting around in other lands wisely in tough situations (like our son was in China with a taxi driver not understanding that he was taking us to the wrong port as it was the port listed on the sheet our ship handed out to everyone, but indeed was the wrong port, our son was the one to think to point to our port on the map and KNEW where our ship was on the map, which I didn’t; he was also let off at the wrong bus stop on foreign travel in a recent business trip, but knew where the ocean was and managed to walk to his hotel that was a mile or two away no problem - in a town where he had only just touched down an hour or so prior and never been to before, but he had thought to study maps of the city before flying there), caring for themselves (and their own laundry) well for years, making out their own tax forms and so on, you come to get a different idea of when a person might be ready to live on their own.</p>
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<p>As I wrote earlier, if someone is begging, that could be a sign that the person is NOT yet ready to live alone. What you ideally want is a person who is happy to live alone or with others (including parents, and our son was fine with us moving to MA with him if we wanted, but his advisor had a strong request for our son to live on his own in graduate housing so he could chat research topics more easily with fellow grad students and we also felt it was time for him to be out on his own if he was in graduate school; plenty of students commute to college from a parents’ home, but I think it rather rare for graduate students to do that).</p>
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<p>What makes you wonder?</p>
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<p>I wasn’t comparing their struggles, and indeed often note how one thing our son has going against his ever being a “big name” as he has long hoped to become is that he hasn’t had to struggle much for anything - things just seem to go his way and he breezes through things (academic, social, etc.). The other things he has going against him are coming from a middle-class family (60% of eminent people come from the upper class and 30% come from the lower class while only 10% come from the vast middle class) and having a father who is still alive and well and still happily married to his mother rather than having split from the family (an incredible percentage of eminent people, male and female, had a biological father who was deceased or split from the family before the child turned 12; most recent example I learned of here was Gerald Ford, who didn’t even keep his biological father’s name and was livid when the man came to visit him at around age 12 or maybe a bit younger).</p>
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<p>Again, you missed the point. The point was that people who just go by the noise of the crowd and fall in line in making decisions aren’t the ones who make anything progress in life. We also can’t have studies with big sample sizes if nobody is willing to be the first (or first however many) to jump into the sample. Now I would never suggest anyone do anything just to help research, and it’s not why our family has made any choices we have, but we also aren’t going to just sit back and take a bus wherever it may take us because it’s the route that has the most people using it if it also doesn’t seem to be going at a speed that we feel makes sense given <em>us</em> as individual passengers. Years ago, people no doubt thought the Wright Brothers were off their rocker to try to fly - there was no research with people flying successfully - but thank goodness they didn’t let that deter what their gut was telling them could be done and done safely. And no, I am not comparing my son or myself to the Wright Brothers, either, to be clear.</p>
<p>And for the umpteenth time, neither would I. As I type, our son is in the middle of a 6-hour movie and dinner party with other teens (and might spend the night there tonight; he’ll be calling me in a few hours to let me know). I would not be comfortable with our son living a life without social time with people his own age.</p>
<p>But the notion that <em>school</em> is where social time should be is utter nonsense in my opinion. We didn’t start schools for kids to play and be social, but to learn. Most adults don’t socialize with their co-workers after work (though some do) but rather with other people they know in other ways (who have similar interests outside of work, like to keep similar hours of socializing due to being morning people or night owls, etc.). Work isn’t something that is seen as primarily a way to socialize (other than perhaps for parents who feel like they are going crazy at home with kids) and neither should school be. The socialization is secondary, and can often be attained just as well or better outside of the work/school environment. I again don’t suggest that it is for the best for any child to not have social time with chronological peers, no matter how smart the kid.</p>
<p>But what you are doing is saying ALL early to college student lack a full childhood, and it is this that is faulty reasoning.</p>
<p>Childhood is merely defined as the period of life between infancy and puberty, so there is no way to sacrifice it unless one dies before puberty, so people who say, “But they had no childhood” are clearly in error - at least you wrote FULL childhood.</p>
<p>What you mean, I suppose, by “full childhood” (and correct me if I am wrong) is the romanticized American version of childhood as a time with no responsibilities or cares. But this is rarely the case for most any child…many children face deaths in the family, poverty, illness, war, divorce, homelessness, alcoholic parents, sexual molestation, and all sorts of other woes far more concerning (seems from the research I’ve read to date) than early college. What is “normal” for one child’s early life is hardly the experience for most children unless it is things like growing taller, gaining weight (and even there, not all kids do - many starve to death), learning to use a toilet, etc.</p>
<p>Frankly, I don’t think a childhood without responsibility is good for kids, and research backs me up this (kids with no chores, for example, have a higher rate of feeling “empty” and depressed than those who contribute in some way to the running of the household, family farm, whatever). Research also shows that children who never have any “hard knocks” are more inclined to have issues when problems come knocking later in life.</p>
<p>I happen to believe a balance of responsibilities and carefree time is best and from as soon as a kid is able to be of some assistance (like our son was matching socks as a toddler and setting the table starting at age 2, and he was <em>happy</em> to be able to help, not groaning about it being a chore, despite - or perhaps thanks to - not being paid for helping).</p>
<p>As for “full childhoods”, I feel our son has had one of the fullest childhoods around and MANY children (his age and younger and older) note that they are jealous of the life our son has had so far (so have some adults, for that matter). He got to spend a week playing at the beach each year from age 1 to 8 (where my husband’s father never saw an ocean till our son’s first birthday when we all went to the ocean for the day) and got other beach vacations in addition to the traditional annual beach vacation with extended family. He got to play in the sandbox and swing on swings, he had pillow fights with friends his age during slumber parties, he played video games both on his own and with friends, he went bowling with friends, he went to dances and movies with friends, he blew plenty of bubbles and built sandcastles, he went to lots of amusement parks (most recently just last month), he watched plenty of cartoons, he spent a lot of time just running around his room in his style of free play, he learned about music and art (and indeed burned his own CDs and sold some at a performance he gave at age 9 and had his own photography and fractal art business from 12 to 15, in addition to viewing art in museums in various countries and hearing live music of all sorts and being in a handchime/handbell choir, gamelan, battle of the bands, etc.), he was on a crew team and played racquetball, he acted in a kabuki play, he traveled to more countries than most people have visited before they die, etc.</p>
<p>He also had an unusual childhood in some ways. He started doing internships at age 9 (with all expenses for the suite, flights not just for the two of us but also visits from his father, rental car, etc. paid for by the company)…but he also played in the pool with other kids every night after dinner if the weather was good (and played board games and went to movies and bowling and such with friends made at the pool just as he did with friends back home - we are still in touch with some of them). He started college at 9 (but also got to continue doing things with kids his own age or thereabouts, like magic club and tap dance classes and handchime choir and “play dates”). He gave talks across the country and in Germany (but the talks typically took just 10 to 30 minutes of the trip and the rest of the time was spent exploring the city in which he spoke and other cities or countries nearby). He had his own business at age 12 and two businesses by age 14 and paid his own sales and income taxes, and had a portfolio that as of 2003 figures (the last I could find), allowed him to have a higher net worth than about 40% of the American population (and that was without being paid but a small amount for his first two talks as most of his income has come from his consulting business that he had for one year - the photo and fractal art income all went toward paying for study abroad costs and not his savings, though he did use the fact that the sales were earned income to be able to use his other savings to fund his first Roth IRA at age 12; had he gone for the gigs that pay $10K like another early to college kid, he’d probably be the envy of most Americans financially).</p>
<p>I question I don’t think anyone here has directly asked but usually does is “Why rush?” Because the sooner you start exploring careers, the sooner you can find one you like (you are not, contrary to some people’s belief, locked into any career at any age, other than maybe parent once you have a child, if you happen to see parenthood as a “career”), and the more time you also have to have multiple careers (our son has noted that he feels he will have contributed the best he likely will within 10 years in a given career once finished with his education and plans to delve into new careers at least once every 10 years). Because the sooner you start college, the more time you have to take courses in all sorts of topics beyond the typical high school fare, and the less likely you are to have to balance having a family with getting a graduate degree or professional degree. Because the sooner you start saving money, the sooner you can retire, and the wealthier you can retire even retiring earlier. Because life isn’t a race, but nor is long life a certainty and “Why wait” to “live as you like” when you could die tomorrow (no matter what your age or health today)?</p>
<p>Our son actually does NOT feel like he’s had a “normal childhood” (which bugs me as we parents like to feel our kids have had that, and frankly, I think that some parents go out of their way to provide their children a “normal childhood” not to match the child’s desires or needs, but their own), but he also notes that he’s never <em>wanted</em> a “normal childhood” as he’s wanted to get “out in the world” and explore. And it meant his leaving us long before we would have liked. But it <em>his</em> life and he should do with it as <em>he</em> sees best, so long as we don’t feel he is taking too large of risks for his health or hurting others.</p>
<p>Swatparent, if your child happened to be 6’ tall at age 10, would you keep the child in clothes that are the size of most 10-year-olds just so the child could look like the other children? Do you even think that the child wouldn’t still stand out as different? Of course not, as it wouldn’t be a fit for her and she wouldn’t “look normal” just because the clothes were the same size as the other children. Similarly, you can keep a kid who could do college work many years before the typical age for being in college in with chronological peers, but even saying the kid could “blend”, would that really be in the child’s best interest? </p>
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<p>I suspect different programs work differently. However, a student likely won’t need a school to be active in sports. Most counties have sports (soccer, basketball, etc.) groups for those in the county, no matter where they are in school.</p>
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<p>I agree that academics are not everything, and that physical exercise is important for everyone (including adults), but not that being on a sports team is ever so important. I was on a sports team in high school, but not in college as I had no interest in being on one in college (I started college at age 17, not due to acceleration but a late birthday, and finished at 20, and by around 11th grade, I already wasn’t all too into sports and only joined the team I did as a friend asked me to join and I figured it might be fun). Our son has played sports games with graduate students (beach soccer a few times, frisbee something or other, tennis, squash, etc.) and taken sailing lessons at MIT (where students can check out boats for free after passing the lessons), but hasn’t had any interest in joining a formal sports team. This is not unusual for college students of a regular age, and it’s rather <em>uncommon</em> for graduate students to be on a sports team, I think, even though some are. But Swatparent, if being on a sports team is all so important to you, are YOU on one today? If not, when were you last on one? My husband was on a sports team till our son was 2 and we moved to another state for a year, and I credit him for staying on a team for some long, but again, I think that is more the exception than the rule.</p>
<p>Only it appears to me there is no to worry about along these lines (contrabands are at arm’s length and the temptations to indulge) in middle schools and high schools in our nation than in colleges and graduate dorms, especially at MIT, where the most recent study I’ve seen has a higher percentage of virgins than any other school studied (some could say this is due to poor social skills and being unable to find partners to have sex with, but I suspect it is more due to the students not being in any rush to have sex…I know this is the case for some of my son’s friends as they have actually had open discussions with me about it on chats I’ve had while visiting MIT). Yes, there are wild parties at MIT (our son noted that the frat party he went to Friday night after the fireworks had a midget dancing on a table and an inflatable swimming pool on the roof, for example, and he also noted that most people seemed drunk), but there are also people from a young age who know how to say no. When I was around 8, my brother and his best friend held me down on the kitchen counter to stick a cigarette in my mouth and light it (they had both recently taken up smoking and perhaps felt they wanted to force me to smoke, too, so I wouldn’t tell our parents) and I spit it out in the friend’s face no sooner than was it lit and to this day, have never smoked a cigarette or anything else. I dated over 100 guys in college and never had sex with any of them. I had friends offer me pot in high school and cocaine in college, but never had any desire to join them in their doing drugs. I also gave up alcohol early in college (I went when 18 was the legal age, though it changed while I was there to 21, I was still able to drink legally as they didn’t take the right away from those who already had it) and never drank booze again till I was finished with graduate school and dating my now husband. My husband similarly had a strong ability to “just say no” when he deemed it would be wise to say no, and self-control DOES have a genetic link (read Matt Ridley’s book “Genome” if you want the details here), so we have reason to <em>guess</em> our son will be able to keep his self-control as a teen and young adult just as he did as a young child not breaking into candy jars and cookie jars when he was told he shouldn’t eat them before dinner and such. The best predictor of the future is the past, and while it is but a mere predictor, it is the best one.</p>
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<p>Exactly, and that is why I was surprised when MIT was willing to admit our son at 14.</p>
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<p>This is also my concern. I’ve given our son books like 'What Price Fame?" and constantly been pointing out the issues with his goals since age 2 (or earlier, but he first voiced them at age 2) to own his own business and invent something “big” that would put his name down in history as an inventor. Unfortunately, many if not most people expect early to college kids to do <em>big</em> things rather than just the same level of things as someone who started college at a regular age, which I feel unfair, even if it’s somewhat justified by the history of early to college kids (as that group has a far higher eminence rate than the group who start college at a typical rate, likely due more to their simply being smarter as a group that the typical age start group than due to starting college early) to <em>anticipate</em> that the early college kid <em>might</em> do big things someday. But to <em>expect</em> it, as some do, can put a real burden on children, especially if they have parents who feel it is morally a waste to not do something big if one is highly intelligent (our son doesn’t have parents who feel there is any moral obligation to do anything other than be nice to others and be able to support himself and a family should he have one as an adult).
For many, the consensus seemed to be that it was.</p>
<p>I am close friends with a mom who sent her 13 year old to college. She went locally, and had like company as the school had such a program which worked well. She loved those 4 years and did well. She is now a very well balanced, delightful young adult, who is successful, but not stupendously so. Her mother says that there seem to be expectations from others that the young lady should be some sort of a super star, rather than someone who spend high school years doing college work. Simple as that, an alternate way to spend those 4 years. Mom things, and I concur that the time was well spent for her. If it were not, well, there are many other kids who have had bad high school and/or college years.</p>
<p>You wrote: They seem to be doing as well or better for the most part, than the regular college kids. Some were not doing as well.</p>
<p>My question is, “What percent were doing as well or better than regular college kids versus what percent were not?” If 50% of the early college kids were doing better than the regular college kids, that is probably support for early college right there, especially as many of these kids might have been even worse off had they not accelerated based on what research I’ve read comparing people with similar SAT scores in the talent search at age 12 who went to college early versus staying with peers.</p>
<p>Funny, as I wrote what I did earlier about the expectations without even having seen what you wrote later on this same topic! Anyway, I again agree that it’s “off” to <em>expect</em> big things from early to college students; while they have a higher than average (by far) rate of eminence, it’s not over 50% and so nobody should <em>expect</em> big things from any one person in the early to college group (heck, Terman studied a pretty large number of high IQ kids given special accommodations and not a one turned out to become eminent, though again, these were not early to college people but high IQ people, who also often have unjust expectations placed upon them).</p>
<p>If a boy shoots up to 6’3 by age 11 (as one of our son’s friends did), does this mean everyone should expect the child to be an NBA star as an adult? It’s an equally crazy premise (and that kid is a physicist today, not an NBA player).</p>
<p>And in our son’s case, someone suggested to me that we request our son’s room be near to the housemasters’ apartment. MIT must have taken that suggestion seriously as they placed our son in the room that was the last door before the housemasters’ apartment. Now in the new dorm, he’ll be on another level, but he’ll also be 17 at the time he moves in, so it really shouldn’t be a big deal.</p>
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<p>I have the same hunch, though certainly <em>some</em> early to college students <em>do</em> fall into bad trouble (like the U of Alabama gal).</p>
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<p>And our son isn’t zipping through college or graduate school at a faster than normal rate (well, for a master’s in general anyway; his master’s for <em>his particular lab</em> was faster than it had ever been done before, but was the standard two years in June graduation but for some reason, he was the first to pull off what is expected there; in the larger lab he’s in that the smaller lab falls under, 3 of the 29 scheduled to graduate in June managed to do so, so the two-year master’s in his lab is somewhat a misnomer). And all total, he’ll have had as many or more years in college/grad school than most people, especially if he also opts to do an MBA and/or JD after his doctorate, though if he did either of those right after the Ph.D., he might still be young compared to his classmates, but at least the regular age for college students (as he will be come fall, really).</p>
<p>Actually tests have shown that there <em>is</em> a positive correlation between intellectual and emotional maturity (not seen any research on social maturity, but having met many early to college students, I believe they are also far more mature in general than those their own chronological age and further, often more than socially mature than even the average adult). That said, people again shouldn’t <em>assume</em> that because one is intellectually an adult, they are also emotionally or socially able to function at an adult level - I have seen plenty of early to college students with things like Aspeger’s where they are not emotionally or socially at even a chronological peer’s level. But far more often the reverse error is made - thinking someone can’t be emotionally and/or socially at an adult level no matter if they are clearly at an adult level intellectually. Frankly, I hit my peak in emotional and social maturity at age 16 (this isn’t a joke, but for real; my filters for what I utter and tolerance for foolishness in others went downhill from that point on, sorry to say).</p>
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<p>It can’t be a <em>legal</em> guardian unless the parents are game to have no say in what happens to their child anymore, as we checked this with a lawyer when MIT suggested we might want to look into having a guardian in MA for our son if we weren’t going to move to live with him there. But having an adult support system does make good sense. Our son has had adults in the Boston area that he can call upon if he wants an adult other than a parent or housemaster or faculty member (or grad student). The first person who volunteered here is a venture capitalist that first met our son at a venture capital conference back when our son was 10 (our son won the tickets when he was on the first place team in a statewide business plan competition for undergraduate and graduate students) and then invited our son to enter a sailing competition with him (the two took second place thanks completely to the VC) and took our family and his on his boat for the day and in other ways, stayed in touch over the years, and he’s taken our son out to dinner to just chat a few times since our son moved to MA. Parents of friends our son knew through Davidson Young Scholars also volunteered to help out whenever our son wanted help and to have him to their place for homecooked meals and such. It’s not like he moved there having no support people around upon moving to the dorm.</p>
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<p>I actually feel we parents are responsible till our son turns 18, which is why he still is to let us know when he is going off campus (as he did tonight with a 17-year-old friend to a another teen friend’s party, a party where the girl’s parents will be present as the parents have assured me their children’s parties always have their supervision; I have also met and driven with the 17-year-old driver and feel he is safe to drive with) and why he is to call by a little after 10 PM to let us know where he will be spending the night tonight.</p>
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<p>Only you said you were okay with kids going to college (i.e. taking classes at college as a commuter) however young, and that alone with expose them to most everything. In front of our son’s first music course, two girls were making out. There were condoms handed out in front of the student union on our son’s first day of classes (and don’t many restrooms for males have condom machines…are parents to not allow their sons to use the men’s room till they are 16 or something?). An honors course had a book assigned where the main character “comes of age” with a <em>sheep</em> (this was one of the only things where I did request the professor grant approval for our son not to read that one chapter, and he told the entire class to skip the chapter once I brought the section to his attention, which I am sure made most of the students skip right to that chapter rather than skip it). Another professor wanted our son to see “A Clockwork Orange” or “One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest” (and he wasn’t even our son’s professor, but just a professor who chatted with our son and felt those movies would be good for him to see); he argued, “Your son is 10 in chronological age only. He has the reasoning and understanding in life that few psychology professors have, trust me.” I still wouldn’t allow our son to view those movies at age 10, but that again is just MY comfort zone and I won’t fault parents who would decide differently here. My parents took me to R-rated movies from a very young age and it never seemed to have any bad effect on me, but that also doesn’t mean <em>I</em> am comfortable with our son seeing an R-rated film at a young age (and my dad also did give me grief about that, saying that our son at age 7 had the mental age of an adult and so should be allowed to see R-rated movies, but I didn’t feel he was <em>emotionally</em> an adult at age 7).</p>
<p>Again, I really think it all depends on given individuals rather than any set “never this” or “always that” rules.</p>
<p>We didn’t have to sign a thing, but housing asked if our son would be willing to sign a form so that the university could share with us any medical, academic, etc. issues (as legally, they couldn’t share such matters unless he signed such a form). This was not stated as a requirement of his being there (indeed, he was already moved in before they supplied him with such a form), but something they asked if he would be willing to sign, and he was perfectly fine with it as he’s not big on keeping things from his parents. Now the advisor had to sign something from the MIT lawyers saying that our son would have supervision using lap equipment and our son had to have an individual lab safety session rather than a group one, but other than that, there was nothing that I can recall done as far as liability due to his age.</p>
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<p>They are indeed barred unless the student signs a form waiving their right to privacy where parents are concerned. Now some don’t know this, as even when our son was in undergraduate school and had never been shown such a waiver let alone signed one, some professors told me things like, “I don’t know if I should be sharing this, but your son scored the second highest grade in the class and didn’t seem at all bothered by that. How is that? My daughter is in gifted math classes in her public school and gets VERY upset any time she isn’t the highest scorer” - she was puzzled by why someone so smart wouldn’t care about always being number one. Fact is, it’s because he was smart enough to know there are more important things in life than being number one. Anyway, she wasn’t legally allowed to mention how he did on that exam with me, but my son didn’t care, and neither did I. Other professors also would sometimes tell me how our son did, and I think they just didn’t even think about how they legally shouldn’t be doing so (where the one professor did wonder and at least one knew he could not, so did not).</p>
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<p>Because it can give them top students. I think my son is the only person at his university to ever win the statewide business plan competition for undergraduate and graduate students, for example (he also won the most valuable employee cash award for that competition). Another early to college kid at our son’s U won a Barry Goldwater award (our son was an honorary mention at age 11 for this and could have applied again when he had more research under his belt, but didn’t bother), which universities like to rack up their numbers on earning just like the Fulbright and Rhodes and such. Another (who starred there at age 13) landed one of only 12 spots in the Harvard Medical School MD/PhD program the year she and my son graduated; her AIDS research at age 16 had been a cover story of a major science journal. Some schools know the odds of having good things come from these students is higher than the odds of having bad things happen and thus are willing to take the risk. While the president at our son’s alma mater had no clue of our son’s ever applying there until after he was already a student there, he was thrilled to learn they had a 9-year-old freshman. He said to me, “I wanted to start college at age 12 myself, but my mother made me wait till I was 14. I credit you for allowing your son start so young.” He’s making close to $400K/year now and seems the happiest person on campus (tied with the janitorial staff) so early college didn’t seem to hurt him that I can tell.</p>
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<p>So do we. Before our son graduated from undergraduate school, our son took four foreign languages (despite only needing three courses in one language to graduate from his U; two he didn’t even take at his alma mater), two honors history courses plus lower and upper level geography courses plus honors and upper level psychology courses (the later despite not having the prereqs and still got an A), graduate courses in math despite only needing undergraduate courses to get his bachelor’s in math, an additional CS course after he had already earned his CS degree no matter that it was risking his 4.0 in CS, three physics courses plus upper and lower level chem courses and a pre-med bio course even though he only needed two science courses to graduate, an entrepreneurship class that wasn’t under any category for graduation but just because he was one of the few students invited to take the class (and I received a very nice note from the teacher of that class just a few weeks ago, and it’s nice that professors still keep in touch with our family even years after our son graduated), two P.E. classes, two music courses, a freshman engineering seminar that he again was invited to take due to his math SAT score and only took as the topic seemed interesting rather than for a graduation requirement, an upper level English literature class (due to needing an upper level English class with intensive writing since he used test credit for freshman comp and the Honors College insisted on an upper level English for students who didn’t take freshman English comp for a grade) and probably some other classes I’m not thinking of just now. He had around 170 credits when only 120 are needed for a single degree and 150 for the dual degree he got.</p>
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<p>Our son also worked for a year prior between undergraduate and graduate school, in addition to working internships for three summers while in college and one semester, and in addition to traveling to over 30 countries (three on study abroad programs, and some others on business, and some others on family vacations) before starting graduate school. Again, I think he had a rather full college experience.</p>
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<p>Our son also volunteered at a retirement home (reading to residents, playing piano and organ, just being their friend, etc.) from ages 7 till he moved away to graduate school, and as I noted to another poster who wrote me privately, he even came back at age 15 to give a eulogy for one of the residents who had heard our son give a eulogy at age 10 and begged him to do a eulogy for her when she died. He was also on a community safety committee (helped with a survey and data entry), helped get food donated by an area grocery store to homeless people in the city, was the top fundraiser in the state (they don’t have national awards, so for all we know, he could have been the top in the nation) for the three years he took part in the Multiple Sclerosis read-a-thon and visited a woman with MS, went to the nearest children’s ward of wherever we were for Christmas each Christmas Eve from age 5 till present to deliver new wrapped books for children (each with a number on it so the nurses could see what age and child’s interest the book might be best for), served on his SGA as a sophomore through a senior as well as having leadership positions in other campus organizations (such that he was nominated and admitted to Omicron Delta Kappa, a leadership honors society), read Dr. Seuss books and helped inner city kids to paint toys with his Golden Key honors society group, was a volunteer tutor at his U’s math lab at age 9, wrote for a for-profit county-wide newspaper starting at age 7 as a volunteer (the editor got a letter from our son correcting the newspaper stating that all countries that start with A also end with A along with one other correction and the man asked our son to come in for an interview as he was impressed with his writing), etc. He also was one of 2000 children to win the Disney McDonald’s Millennium Dreamer’s award (an all expenses paid Disney vacation) with over 100,000 children having been nominated worldwide (so he fell into the top 2% for service of those nominated, and those <em>nominated</em> are likely already top 10% for children worldwide), and this was with our only sending on one of the nominations that he got while other kids sent in two or more (we didn’t realize that would even be allowed) and being on the young end to win (the contest was for ages 8 to 16 and he was only 8, so likely had less volunteer experience than many older kids, but perhaps they took that into account). You again seem to think early college experience means one is excluded from community service. it isn’t so.</p>
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<p>Can’t be obvious as it isn’t so. He didn’t “specialize” in college and still isn’t specializing even in graduate school. He purposely picked one of few labs in the nation that has eclectic work being done and he is mixing four different fields, plus still performing on different instruments (he was in a Korean drum group when he first started there, which sounds to me like something I wish we had when I was in college) and taking nice photos on travel and taking courses in a range of areas (though graduate level rather than undergraduate level). And our son’s lab isn’t alone in encouraging a mix of topics in graduate school. You might be surprised to know that at MIT, CS doctoral students aren’t even to take CS courses as the dept. feels by the time one has a CS undergraduate degree, they know all they need to know about CS and should be taking OTHER topics to get ideas of how to mix CS with other fields (at least this is what our son’s suitemate told me)! I don’t think specializing is ever necessary. Some of the most productive people in history didn’t specialize (Franklin didn’t just invent, but was also a politician and writer and businessman and more; Jefferson wasn’t just a politician, but an inventor and writer and businessman and more; Leonardo didn’t just invent, but painted; etc.).</p>
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<p>Only you do, as you continue to find things “obvious” that aren’t even true.</p>
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<p>That much might be true, as at age 7, he already scored higher on a test of culture than most high school seniors nationally and scored post high school level across the board on academic testing given by a psychologist. Nonetheless, he continues to study information in a very broad manner and likely will his entire life.</p>
<p>Some do, from what I’ve read of other applicants (our son applied to MIT and only MIT for graduate school, feeling if he didn’t get in the first time, he would ask what he needed to do to be an attractive candidate for them and try again the next year).</p>
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<p>And we did insist our son have NO roommate, but just suitemates (so he shares a bath, but not a bedroom; in his apartment next month, he’ll share a bath and a living room and a kitchen, but again, not a bedroom). MIT completely agreed that this would make sense, and while his dorm normally had no singles for new graduate students (only students with seniority points were eligible for them), the Dean of Graduate Students signed some exception (usually used for people with religious beliefs that don’t allow them to room with others or serious allergies or whatever) so our son would get a single rather than sharing a bedroom with an older student. We also insisted he be in a single sex suite, which they again had no issue with granting. Now in his new apartment, a female asked to be one of his roommates and we were almost game to allow it at this age, but were happy when a closer friend asked to be the third roommate (as two of them decided from the get go to share a 3BR suite and were just wondering who would be the third person) and was another male (and another male also asked to be our son’s suitemate after that, the other one who has been a suitemate for the past two years, but he simply asked too late).</p>
<p>Again, accommodations for special situations can be made.</p>
<p>Our son has taught for several MIT programs, though I think most are for high school students rather than middle school students (I know his current one is), but for one of them (either Splash or Spark, and maybe those do include middle school students?), they had a child from HAWAII there (and his mother wrote them that she plans to send him to MIT for other programs in the future as the kid so enjoyed his weekend there). She gave the teachers (via the son, as I am not sure that she herself came to MIT) chocolate covered macademia nuts to thank them and in writing this, I see how funny that is as it has academia in it! Anyway, he liked the treat, as did I am sure the other teachers.</p>
<p>Splash is for middle school kids. For secondary schools kids, there is HSSP. It used to cost $30 for 3 courses, each lasting 10 sessions. A real bargain! this is one of the many ways MIT students give back to the community.</p>
<p>I think many colleges expect younger applicants to be above the average for their institution and not just at the median or below. I know a gal whose SAT scores at age 11 were well above the 25th percentile for our son’s alma mater, but were not above the 50th percentile, and she was told to take the SAT again and try again in a few years, which she did (and she was accepted to start PT at age 13). I also know a 10-year-old whose SAT score was pretty high for a 10-year-old, but not above the 50th percentile for the college and he was told he could audit one class (only paying as if taking it for credit, though, not for free) while studying for the SAT to get a higher score. He was one of the top students in his geography class at age 10, I heard from another student, but the U still wouldn’t admit him as a regular (or even a special student able to take classes for credit) till his SAT score was higher, so he started as a regular student at age 12 or 13. Ideally, they seem to prefer young students who enter with SAT scores high enough to get scholarship money rather than merely be admitted. And like all other students, they have to apply to the Honors College separately (the HC at our son’s alma mater had an average SAT score in the 1400’s when he was there and I suspect still does, so it’s not as difficult to get into as say Harvard or Caltech or Princeton or MIT or such, but is still tougher than getting into a good number of top tier colleges I suspect as some have 75th percentiles of under 1400 or even 1300 on the old 1600 possible SAT).</p>
<p>Again, a false assumption. First, you can actually start graduate school without ever having any undergraduate degree at all, no matter the age. Some insisted our son at age 8 should be in graduate school based on things like his level of discussion in a book group where all other members were adults with advanced degrees in a wide range of areas (law, bio, chem, a psychology professor who also headed up an honors program at a flagship state U, computer science, etc.). Our son’s pediatrician also felt our son might be wise to enter graduate school at age 8 as her own father started Harvard at age 15 and felt the experience a waste and she wondered if he wouldn’t have been happier had he gone earlier or skipped undergraduate school entirely. There is a student who entered college at age 14 and was able to swing going for a master’s in math having never been enrolled in an undergraduate program at all and is doing his Ph.D. in math at Princeton last I heard.</p>
<p>Second, our son started graduate school at age 14 and started undergraduate school at 9, not 10. He took a year between college and grad school to do independent consulting and save up money before starting graduate school.</p>
<p>Third, many kids who start college early go through college at rates faster than 4 years. Sho Yano started college at age 9 and was in a Ph.D./M.D. program at age 12, for example.</p>
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<p>And again, you are incorrect. We heard from professors time and again that it was amazing how our son had better insights, better writing ability, and better reasoning than most other students, even most other top students. This especially surprised some who felt that math/science majors would be lacking in understanding topics such as Asian literature. Our son won national essay contests geared for students years older than himself starting at 6 (and the first computer our son ever had was one he earned in a national essay contest - he even won two computers and gave us the second), and by age 9, was told he could not have his entry included in a high school essay contest as they felt his writing showed style and creativity that they could not hold high school students to, so he had to be classified a college student (never mind that the kid had no formal English writing training past the 4th grade level at that time). His honors psychology professor who he had at age 10 told me after the semester was over, “You know, I was thinking of going to your son and letting him know if he ever wanted any writing help, to come see me during office hours, but after I saw his writing, I felt like I should be the one coming to him for writing tips!” This was in a class where there were in class essay exams as well as written papers. Again, our son has had more exposure to many things in life than many adults, even college-educated adults, and so to think his time on earth is more important than what he’s done while on it is faulty. He is constantly picking up on things most adults miss and can add to discussions what few adults can, frankly, which is one reason I do so miss his living with us (he also gives very nice hugs each morning and night, and I also miss those while he’s in another state).</p>
<p>Parenting an exceptionally high IQ child seems as difficult as raising a child with any extreme learning difference. Typical educational routes will not work, other people don’t really understand the unique challenges, and creativity is needed to find solutions which will prevent the child from withering. Parents must search for what seems best for their child and I see that openness as a sign of great love. But there are no guarantees to any parent that our choices are always 100% right. I support all of you who are making the best, if difficult, choices for your children–your love will be appreciated by your kids, even if they should experience some downs with the ups along their road.</p>
<p>There are not many easy answers to raising kids who are outliers, and I doubt keeping to a traditional high school path always works best for every single one. Keeping a bored or misunderstood student in a typical high school solely to stay among age peers may work out in some cases, but in many schools teens can be harsh to those who are extremely different. With such a kid, a college may be the most comfortable social environment. But there may be no environment that is perfect for all aspects of his/her growth. I commend each parent who faces this challenge for their child with thoughtfulness and love, no matter what solution you choose. It’s hard enough to raise a kid with special needs–and yet there are always strangers who will not understand.</p>
<p>No, again, something is being lost in the posts here, sorry. Our son started <em>graduate school</em> at MIT at age 14, not undergraduate school. He met with undergraduate MIT admissions at age 11, at the request of two mentors who contacted MIT undergraduate admissions about our son and after our son called their office to ask if he could meet with them, and MIT admissions seemed like they might very well admit him as a transfer student despite his age (not to live on campus, but with us in MA) and set us up to have dinner with a 17-year-old senior at MIT who started undergraduate school at MIT at age 14, but our family decided that for undergraduate school, all was going well at the local state U and to just stay the course, so to speak, for undergraduate school, so our son never even filled out the MIT transfer application (which caused us quite a bit of grief with the one mentor who felt our son should already be taking graduate courses at MIT and that we weren’t doing right by him to not have him at MIT already).</p>
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<p>Again, not even necessarily the case. The friend of our son’s who started college at 11 was 6’3 at that time and ahead of the norm in physical development. The student who started at our son’s U as a transfer at age 14 (having started in another state first at age 11) also was tall and very mature looking and sounding from the day I first met him when he was 14. I’ve seen a number of early college kids who seem developmentally (physically, emotionally, socially) to be ahead of the average college student. But then, not all do. Our son didn’t look like a regular college student till he was 13; though he had a mustache at age 10, he was also a regular 10-year-old male’s height and underweight for his age and height at that age.</p>
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<p>Hey, I’ve been repeating it till my fingers are sore rather than my throat here, but to no avail. Thanks for chiming in with my choir on that count, though.</p>
Thanks for chiming in with my choir on that count, though.</p>