<p>In a totally serious tone, after I mentioned that while I am taking 19 credits, I am also Greek and involved in lots of other things. And I thought “Stop being so polite” was weird…</p>
<p>Foolish response. I’d be thinking to say, “How about taking a long walk on a short pier?” but like you, I’m too polite.</p>
<p>Wolfpiper,
My daughter, a highly motivated academic achiever who craves challenges, was rightfully unhappy at the start of seventh grade (when middle school starts here) because the classes were too easy. Our elementary school individualized and allowed kids to accelerate and learn at their own level and then she got to seventh grade and everyone was taught on one level all of a sudden. One of the several areas where this was a problem was in French I. Kids from our elementary school had been taught French since Kindergarten and now they were thrown in French I with kids who had no exposure to French. They were learning how to count from 1-10 in French when my D could write a story and read a story in French (surely nowhere near fluent but many levels ahead of learning her ABCs and numbers in French). She was so bored. This is one of the only times in her life I have seen her cry. When I shared this with the French teacher at the parent open house, she said, “tell your D that she should just kick up her heels and take it easy for one period a day since she leads a busy life.” Having been a teacher myself for years, I could not imagine squelching that motivation for learning and challenge by saying…in effect, use this as a free period since you have other demands in your life. I won’t bore you with the details but several accomodations were made including going into another class with another teacher and then another year she did an independent study with a teacher and then skipped a level of French. Anyway, I share this as you do come across teachers or others who may look negatively to your wanting to do more, learn more, be challenged, etc. It sounds odd, but it happens. Other teachers are thrilled to have a student who is driven and motivated to be further challenged. </p>
<p>However, I don’t truly know where your teacher was coming from and perhaps he is concerned in general about students who he may perceive (but not necessarily accurately) only care about academics. If that is the case, he is giving a message that it is important to also use the college years for other activities on campus…a good message. Maybe he doesn’t know you well and made assumptions. Maybe he comes to it with a personal bias. My kids are also taking on more academics than are required. But they want to. But they ALSO are overly engaged in pursuits outside the classroom. But someone else may bring their bias to it. So, if YOU are happy with what you are doing and IF you are engaged in things other than academics (ideally you should be in my opinion), then don’t worry. Be confident about your choices and don’t mind what others say. But if you are mostly just doing academics and not doing a balance of other things, think about that a bit. But your own happiness is what matters. </p>
<p>I don’t know what “stop being so polite” refers to, sorry.</p>
<p>To some being overly polite and ultra courteous comes across as annoying and somewhat passive aggressive. Think Eddie Haskell. I can understand where he is coming from.</p>
<p>One of the my teachers, one of the most famous architects in New York, once told me I read too many books and had ‘way too much going on up there’ (as he waved a roll of drawing paper toward my head). </p>
<p>I ignored him. If my latest tower design gets approved for construction, I plan to send him a "nyah, nyah, na, nayh nayh’ note-- with illustrations.</p>
<p>Put that comment in the “Irrelevant” box in the back of you rmind.</p>
<p>Is this the professor that you have mentioned in the past as being helpful to you?</p>
<p>I agree that if the comment meant “Don’t worry your pretty little head so much about school”, it would be highly offensive and inappropriate and you would be right to ignore it.</p>
<p>But, if this professor has been respectful, kind, encouraging and helpful in the past, then perhaps he/she intended something different and constructive.</p>
<p>Tell him you are going to start not being so polite by asking him what he means by this latest statement. Really. Ask him. Try to engage him in a conversation where you are genuinely interested in what he has to say and why. Maybe he just wants you to ask. Maybe he just wants you to think outside the box.</p>
<p>Best way to understand what he means is to flat out ask him. And by doing so you will understand him better, understand his comments better, and probably gain some of his respect in the process.</p>
<p>I suspect that the professor thought that people could take advantage of you because you were “too polite” to stop them or call them on their misdeeds.</p>
<p>As for his sentiment that you should quit focusing on school, I think he could have said it better. I graduated from college in 3 years and looking back, I wish I had taken my time and graduated in four. I could have smelled more roses, taken more classes to broaden my horizons, gone to more campus music and theater events.</p>
<p>Maybe, just maybe he was advising you to bring balance into your life. What he said wasn’t so bad, really. </p>
<p>We all want our babies to be the smartest, “best ist” kids out there because it’s so fun to brag… but don’t we really want them to be happy in as many areas of their complex lives as possible?</p>
<p>Maybe this professor sees you and worries about you. Maybe he has a reason to.</p>
<p>One thing to remember in life is that the people who always tell you what you want to hear, really don’t care all that much about you. Just because the message hits a nerve, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or that person is not your friend.</p>
<p>Last year, 2 of D’s teachers talked to her about lightening up on herself when she got to college. Listen to Opie…he speaks the truth.</p>
<p>What an odd thing to say. After all, school is a kid’s “work”. Would a boss say to an employee, “you should focus less on work??” (Well, maybe only if the employee was some obsessive compulsive workaholic that was ignoring spouse and children.)</p>
<p>“Well, maybe only if the employee was some obsessive compulsive workaholic that was ignoring spouse and children.)”</p>
<p>There you go, you answered your own question. Productivity declines past a certain point of work. </p>
<p>While school is a kids “work”, no disagreement, you should make sure there is some fun to be had at work. </p>
<p>I know with our own, we really tried to get her to loosen up a bit senior year of HS. It was quite a battle for a while, but later on, she was quite thankful that we forced her to smell the roses a bit. Balance.</p>
<p>I begin to take “correction” messages from others seriously after I’ve heard the same advice 3 times from 3 unrelated sources. </p>
<p>A decade ago, I was told at work by a supervisor that I was too intense, and brushed it off. I figured she had an ax to grind. </p>
<p>But after I heard the same thing (more or less) from 2 others, I thought maybe I should consider it. And I tried to work upon it (intensely!!)</p>
<p>Old proverb: If one person calls you a donkey, ignore it. If someone else calls you a donkey, stop and think. If a THIRD person calls you a donkey, buy a saddle.</p>
<p>That said, there are some comments that should never be honored. As a young girl I was told, “A head like yours should be on the neck of a boy.” Ugh. And the person giving it meant it as a compliment to my intelligence!! So that’s one to ignore forever. You might come to a similar conclusion about what that prof said about you.</p>
<p>How do YOU feel about the topic? If you feel you’re handling 19 credits and Greek life well, then just be proud and don’t worry about what others say…until and only if your life begins not to work for YOU (not for him). Then, if you’re feeling pressured, you can go back to that person’s comment. Revisited, it might have merit. So just for now, I’d say (seriously): store it away, don’t act upon it. Take it under advisement. In a little while, see if others concur or you agree with him, and if so, you can revise it. Otherwise, nuts to him.</p>
<p>Paying3Tuitions: Well put. I couldn’t agree more.</p>
<p>first semester of senior year I had 18 credits and was working about 40 hours a week at my job and was actively in a couple of clubs at work and my one prof knew it. one day after class he told me not to burn myself out… I think that’s probably what your professor meant too. he said this is college and you should be enjoying yourself, you don’t have to slave away the whole time. I told him thanks for the concern but that I was fine, and i believe i got a 3.75 that semester and i went and told him and he told me how impressive that was and asked if i was doing it again. I said nope, only 12 credits and 12 hours of job-work this semester and I got a big smile 
as long as you know how to manage your time, you’ll be fine. i personally knew i could do those first semester classes and all that work due to the nature of the classes. the semester after that i knew my classes would have a ton of out of class work and group meetings so I knew i needed to take as few credits as possible and work less. I actually spent more time with my friends first semester then i did the second semester. at least i predicted accurately. </p>
<p>I really do think he meant it in a good way, weird as it may sound.</p>
<p>I have had similar experiences to P3T with a specific summer job I had. I wasn’t told to work less, but a couple of (very successful) adults told me to remember that it’s just a job–it’s just work. </p>
<p>I don’t think your professor meant anything bad with his comment. Perhaps it was a light joke or a suggestion to take a load off and go hang out in a park or feed ducks or something.</p>
<p>If you’re engaged in a lot of different things and you love what you’re doing, then stick with it. When someone gives you advice, you should listen, think about it, and evaluate it for yourself. If you get the same advice from two or more people, as P3T said, then you should really listen and question your original evaluation of the situation.</p>
<p>As for the not being so polite, I believe we discussed this before. I’m 100% with Barrons, and I will add to his list that it also makes you look very insecure.</p>
<p>During S’s Preview, we attended an honors session and the subject of “maximum hours” came up. It seemed like a lot of parents (I’m assuming the students’ felt the same way- at least I hope) wanted their kids to take more than the maximum, which I believe was something like 20 or so hours. There was also a maximum number of Honors classes, which might have been the same. Again, I don’t know because I don’t have a son who wants to kill himself academicallly! 
</p>
<p>The impression I got was that the powers-that-be actually do not WANT students to “just be students”- they want them to enjoy an active social life, get involved with other stuff (non-academic). They want them to pack the stands, have tans, participate in intramurals and other activities… Maybe this is a new philosophy- I don’t remember anyone being overly concerned about students getting burned out when I was in college.</p>
<p>"Maybe this is a new philosophy- I don’t remember anyone being overly concerned about students getting burned out when I was in college. "</p>
<p>Maybe because things are changing. I know I burned the candle at both ends and the result was health issues in my forties. Knowing that I’m unlikely to live past 65-70 makes me wonder a bit if I pushed too hard as a youngster.
Having fun later, may not always be there as an option… a balanced life makes for a little work, a little fun…</p>
<p>“Eddie Haskell”–boy am I dating myself. </p>
<p>For those too young to know</p>
<p><a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Haskell[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Haskell</a></p>
<p>That show and that character were such classics.</p>