<p>I went shopping with my friends, but I actually bought the dress with my mother. Maybe your D is planning to do that too? Especially if she’s attached to you/values your opinion, she won’t make the final purchase without your approval.</p>
<p>We live in a small town, but went to the big city to shop. We met my sister, who has no kids so loves to join in these events…she even insisted (ahead of time) on paying for the dress. It was great fun…had a fabulous sales associate…it was kind of like the show “Say Yes to the Dress”. D would try on something and come out and model it on the platform w/ 3 way mirrors. She ended up getting the first dress she tried on! Looked beautiful and so grown up! We only have senior prom so this is the big one!</p>
<p>Yes, I think we’ll hit a good compromise. Prom is turning out to be a rite of passage for mom as well as daughter.</p>
<p>Regarding boys and the prom - our very serious son who never wore anything but jeans and a gray, black or white tee-shirt throughout high school went insane with his senior prom tux. Straight out of Vegas. Powder blue with a silver brocade vest that was migraine-inducing. Quite the dandy that night. And true to absent-minded form, forgot his date’s corsage.</p>
<p>My D often “shopped” with her friends as a social thing. She NEVER bought anything of value with them because she likes my opinion and can be honest with me. We have bought all of her dresses together & I’ve always suggested she put anything she finds “special” on hold.</p>
<p>She and her friends always “networked” to find dates that were compatible with the other dates that were coming so that no one would feel pressured or left out. </p>
<p>POTOMOM, does your D’s male friend know anyone else who might be a good escort for your D? Do girls attend functions together? They did at my D’s HS. Any of her friends dates have friends who might be a suitable escort? How about a favorite teacher or HS advisor that might be able to suggest someone?</p>
<p>My mom msde my prom dress - she was a great seamstress. I bought wedding dress by myself.
Shopped with daughter for prom dress. She had wedding dress made - very simple and elegant.
Daughter has shopped with hers for prom dresses - no weddings yet.
Each genereation, the prom dress was bigger deal - but we all have pictures.</p>
<p>My daughter wants to shop for a prom dress in the “big city” a couple of hours away. She suggested we go together, I’m happy to say (because my son never suggested any such thing). I told her she could bring her best-friend-in-the-world-forever along, because I think the advice of her friend will probably be better than mine. I would be sad if I were left out altogether.</p>
<p>My youngest girl’s boyfriend broke up with her about 6 weeks before the prom…at a time when everyone already had their dates lined up. She ended up going with one gay friend, another female friend went with the gay friend’s boyfriend and they all had a great time together.</p>
<p>My D has always attended these formal function either with a male or female “buddy” rather than any romantic interest. She & her chums rent a limo together that holds at least 3 or 4 couples and they all get together before & have a sleep over after the prom or other function. It has worked well.</p>
<p>Some of her friends go all out & spend oodles on prom attire while one wore a dress from a cousin, another got one from a “vintage” 2nd hand shop for $5. D got the one dress in the entire mall that fit her (she looked great). Prices they spend range from $0 up to literally hundreds. The dresses D has bought she has managed to wear to other functions (weddings and formal occasions).</p>
<p>I bought my dress online with mom’s approval–no shopping needed. </p>
<p>My mom has had very bad Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was about 7 years old…I can’t remember the last time we went shopping together other than online. But I did end up with a GORGEOUS prom dress (and I did let mom choose which one when I was torn between two).</p>
<p>I went with a guy friend who had graduated a year before me, but knew all of my friends. He got to see his friends again and I didn’t have to spend the whole night introducing my escort to friends and teachers.</p>
<p>My kids have very limited stamina, especially for shopping, so going shopping with them is really a chore. Glad you got a dress that fit on-line (& probably saved a bundle too). Fit is a significant problem, especially if you’re very petite, like my D.</p>
<p>One year, for D1, we also got a prom dress online. Her schedule was so full and it was hard to fit in shopping, plus we live in a rural area where shopping is far away and not a ton of selection for a prom dress. I went through lots of prom dresses online and saved favorites, knowing her taste. Then, she went through all the saved faves and chose three and I ordered them and she kept one and we returned the others. </p>
<p>The other times, we got dresses in person in a city that is an hour from us. </p>
<p>For D2, she preferred a cocktail dress (short, not gown). I won’t forget shopping for hers as she could not walk, having been in a hospital bed for three weeks, including major surgery. Trying on dresses and shopping was no easy feat. The day of prom was the first day she could walk again and so it was even sweeter.</p>
<p>HIMOM - the long story is that my D goes to a performing arts high school in the afternoon, which is where most of her friends are. She goes to the academic school in the morning which is who holds the prom. She doesn’t have any real friends at the academic school so there’s just a small crossover group who go to both. All the girls she knows have dates. I’ve thrown out every idea I can think of to her. She has a young female voice teacher who she really connects with and who would be a blast. I suggested they go together. We’ll see.</p>
<p>A nice boy a year ahead of my d caught a ride from college 4 hours each way to take her. He was a good student with no money. I called the best restaurant in town and they let me charge their evening. He couldn’t afford it and he was on his own for his education. After the dress, hair, nails and spray on tan (big mistake), I wanted dinner to be special. He did manage the tux, a haircut, new shoes and corsage. Since it was really her moment, dinner was the least I could do. I don’t think I embarrassed him, I hope not.</p>
<p>POTO Mom - D is friends with 2 guys who need prom dates. Both nice, good looking, smart, popular football players. Maybe we can set them up with your D. (One guy only wants to go with someone as a friend, he doesn’t want to ask any girls who might expect prom to lead to something more. The other has a crush on a girl who has a boyfriend and apparently can’t find anyone else who lives up to his standards.)</p>
<p>As for dress shopping, D and I went together. I don’t think she ever considered going with friends, mostly because she was having “issues” with her friends at the time, but also because she knew I wouldn’t pay for the dress unless I saw it. OP, I can totally understand your being disappointed - prom dress shopping seems like such a fun mother/daughter to do. I echo the idea of letting her look with the friends, but not giving her any money. She’ll have to bring you back with her before she can buy it.</p>
<p>I <em>think</em> I will be old and calm enough by child #3 (only D) to enjoy the prom dress thing. Each of my S’s went two years, and always got their tux by themselves or with friends, usually causing me stress by waiting until the last minute. We had lots of prom date stress. #1 got dumped 1 week before after a screaming match in the front school office. His friends made him a big ribbon to pin on that said, “Best dumpee”. #2 also got dumped last second. The two teachers at school who head up the prom are patient angels and rescue these sort of situations. Way too much prom “drama” and it happens often at our school. All worked out fine all 4 times–they had dates and made such gorgeous couples. Prom is a big deal for the jrs and srs at our small school, but I’m glad I have a 6 year hiatus.</p>
<p>We bought a dress over spring break visiting relatives. And guess what? Most of her friends returned from break also having purchased their dresses with their moms.</p>
<p>So sweet, sewhappy. I hope you enjoyed!</p>
<p>
And I was just going to suggest that she look for a friend who is a musician, because they probably already own a tux! Best yet, does she have any friends who graduated last year and will be back in town (with their tux) and happy to re-connect with old friends? Many colleges are finished before high school prom time.</p>
<p>To moms of boys: one of my daughters was asked to Prom by the son of one of my friends. She has no daughters. Unbelievably, my daughter invited both moms to shop with her. We all had a blast, and my friend was sooooo grateful to have the experience. She’s got a good eye, and my daughter ended up with a dress that truly suited her. Also, I tend to be domineering, and having my friend along forced me to be on my best behavior :)</p>
<p>My d. went to prom every year in high school. The first year I shopped with her, every other year she shopped alone. Every other year the prom dresses she picked were significantly less expensive than the first one. I mean, going from spending about $130 or so down to her finding the “perfect” dress for only $38. When she was alone she shopped sales or thrift shops - and she’d buy stuff marked down because of some some sort of defect, like a missing sash – and then she’d do her own sewing to fix up whatever the problems was. </p>
<p>So basically, I think shopping on her own made her much more aware and focused on the cost, and a lot more creative.</p>