<p>My daughter is an extremely creative, out-of-the-box thinker who is also an excellent writer. At least when she was young, however, she had pretty severe ADHD that led to distracting mechanical errors in her writing. In grade school and high school, I got in the habit of proofrading her work before she submitted it – partly as a didactic tool. Her mastery of mechanical issues has improved dramatically but, throughout her freshman year of college, she would still ask me to proofread her work (i.e. research papers) before she turned them in. I have to admit that, when time allowed, I would do a quick read-though and offer proofeading suggestions --NOT substantive suggestions; just proofreading. Now, however, in her summer after freshman year, she has a writing-intensive internship and she’s asked me if I could take a “quick look” at her work product before she submits it. Somehow, now that’s she’s in the workforce, this feels qualitatively different from school assignments. I’ve told her she should find co-workers to provide/ ask for reciprocal proofreading services. But this just got me thinking --what do other parents do? I know many of you will feel that a parent offering proofreading suggestions in high school is totally inappropriate but I know for certain my willingness to proofread her work in high school improved her writing overall – I know that I compensated for less-than-stellar teachers for my high-needs-but-extremely-talented-kid. Not sure it’s relevant, but I feel her current level of unedited prose contains mechanical errors more-or-less reflective of the typical well-performing college student. In other words, she’s apparently overcome issues caused by her [former?] ADHD, but her writing still needs polishing.</p>
<p>So --to sum up the question – do you parents ever proofread the work product of your college-aged kids? Either at school or [cringe] in the workpace? Does it matter if you, the parent, believes that the proofreading services are helping to improve your child’s writing overall? Does the fact that proofreading is almost always accompanied by a parental lecture influence your opinion?</p>
<p>Please forgive all typos in this message --I’m composing on a mobile device. Snide comments about my own fitness for this task will be ignored!</p>
<p>Never saw, much less proof read, son’s HIGH SCHOOL work. And of course he was away at school for college. I don’t even think I did much of that in middle school or before then either. I suppose his huge independence streak, being strong willed and academically strong played a role.</p>
<p>Told him my emails to him would not be proofread by me all of the time as they were not meant to be perfect. </p>
<p>I have a relative who teaches, and it is not uncommon for 20-somethings to give access to a Google doc in order to get advice. i once worked as a copyeditor and my son is a working writer, and he too will sometimes send me a link and ask me what I think. I generally respond with specifics (“typo in line 3”) and generalities (“I would consider deleting line 12 or moving it to the next paragraph”). i don’t think there’s anything wrong with your daughter asking for your input, especially at a new internship. It actually shows pretty good judgement to get an outside reader, imho. As long as you are not substantially creating the work itself, that is. </p>
<p>It’s a good idea to have a second set of eyes proofread your work. I think what you have to judge is whether she is just asking for proofreading or if she is asking for your approval. The latter might indicate that she does not feel confident in her work.
Are you her one and only proofreader or does she sometimes use other people instead?</p>
<p>If we’re just talking about hunting for typos and spelling errors, I see no harm in helping out, but I think the best path is to advise the college student to get the work done enough in advance so that he can let it sit for a day and then proofread it himself–the delay usually means a big difference in being able to spot errors. As for anything more substantive than that–once they’re in college, I think it’s hands off.</p>
<p>I don’t remember ever looking over any college work for my kids (resumes, cover letters and grad school applications aside). We both knew I would find it impossible to control myself and would end up critiquing substance, so it was best to just keep me away. </p>
<p>My S, who is in a profession that involves a lot of writing, will on rare occasions ask me to look something over because he knows I have an eagle eye, and because I can give him the perspective of “the man in the street”, something the others in his office really can’t offer. In that context, I figure my input is more like unpaid consulting for his firm than anything else!</p>
<p>I think its good to get a second pair of eyes, but,as soon as they were old enough to keyboard their own reports, I wasnt involved.
One now works as an editor.</p>
<p>Our D would occasionally send written college work to us parents to review/proofread. Might have been when she was extra tired and needed a second pair of eyes! I know she mentioned she also had peers proofread work, and she proofread for her peers as well. </p>
<p>In contrast, we are lucky to receive more than a mono-syllabic text response from our S in college. He has the same liberal arts major as his older sister and he must also write a lot of papers.</p>
<p>D has not asked us to proofread a work assignment. At my job, if I am working on a particularly delicate email response, I have drafted a response and asked a co-worker to review. My co-workers have done the same.</p>
<p>I still proofread for my college aged daughter. She is currently in a summer class where the professor told the kids to have somebody review your work for typos (he said “your favorite aunt” as an example). I happen to be an excellent editor and although she is a great writer I do find typos. She has asked me on occasion to review something for work (something very important that might be read by a person high up in the company). </p>
<p>Back in college, I proofread all my husband’s (then boyfriend) papers. Everybody needs their stuff proofread - everything official that goes out at my own job is proofread by my boss. My daughter proofreads for her own boyfriend. </p>
<p>Most kids are too busy to proofread for their friends in college and the writing center may seen like overkill so if your parent has the skill why not have them proofread.</p>
<p>For better or worse, I didn’t proofread any of my kids papers starting at least in High School, but I can see why you would have done that nottelling. I think you know it’s not right to do it now that your child is no longer a child. I would NOT want an outsider to be reading any work related material, whether it’s proofreading or not. I don’t see a problem with editing an important paper for school, but absolutely not as a matter of course and not at all for work.</p>
<p>I think MommaJ’s suggestion is the best course of action. Have your daughter let the paper sit for a day and then go back and read it. That’s a good habit to get into now.</p>
<p>I was willing to hunt for typos/auto corrects when my son was a college freshman, but after a couple of times it became clear to me that he was not even attempting to make any corrections before sending them to me. Game over.</p>
<p>Hmmm…my kids didn’t want my help, I never offered. As a boss, I would be critical of someone whose parents still proof-read their work. That being said, I have often proof-read colleague’s work, and they mine. I would suggest that your daughter find a mentor at work to help with proof-reading. Someone should be willing to do that, especially for an intern.</p>
<p>We proofread many of our younger son’s papers after checking what the policy was at his college. (It turned out they specifically suggested getting a someone else to look at his papers.) There was also an on campus writing center which we encouraged him to use. </p>
<p>I don’t think I’d want to read what someone was producing at work - there might be issues of confidentiality and the like. In her shoes I’d suggest she asks if there is someone there who could proofread.</p>
<p>We did not proofread in high school, but our Ds are pretty good writers. D1 is at an engineering school and routinely proofreads papers for her peers (which is in line with policies/guidance at her school). </p>
<p>I think as an intern or a newbie in the work environment you might feel awkward asking a coworker to proofread for you. Us old folks have already established work relationships where we feel comfortable doing this with our peers. I might suggest that she ask her boss or coworkers what procedures they have in place for proofreading. I work in a private school and nothing goes out to families (either in writing, email, or on the web) without a formal proofread by our communications department.</p>
<p>We have always given help when requested. I “taught” my kids to write since we homeschooled prior to high school, but they surpassed my abilities to instruct pretty early on. In high school, we read and commented on papers. Since there really wasn’t adequate writing instruction, and our kids were worried about being prepared for college level writing, my husband gave them a lot of help and had them do rewrites. The kids sought out this help. Any paper they turned in always got an A, regardless of how wretched it was. They understood these As were pretty meaningless and that they would need to learn to write well for their intended careers. I was only asked for proofreading type help. </p>
<p>Husband and I discussed how we were going to handle this in college and hadn’t really come to a conclusion when it quickly became apparent that our kids had found classmates/dorm mates from similar households and they worked cooperatively to proof and critique each others’ work. Sometimes I was sent college papers after the fact for my enthusiastic admiration, but never for advice. It was a relief to us not to have to look at college papers, because we were pretty worn out, but we would certainly have continued to do so if they had asked us.</p>
<p>Occasionally one of my kids still sends me something to read to see if it makes sense to someone not an expert in the field. And for my admiration. : )</p>
<p>ETA: My husband routinely reads the work of others and makes suggestions. He has an older mentor who has been evaluating his writing for 35 years. I have found myself asked to read early drafts of the books of several friends. (Very tricky!) I don’t see why we wouldn’t do for our kids what we do for our friends? Writing is a process, right? Always room to grow and improve?</p>
<p>I cut the cord on this when D2 left for college last year. For academics, there is a writing center on campus (I am pretty familiar with how they work, as D1 worked in the writing center on campus). I told her they could be her paper reviewers from now on, and she would have to make appointments to do so. She called a couple of times last year and asked me to look at her papers, and I said no. In a couple of cases she clearly could have gotten better grades if she had worked with SOMEONE to proofread. But she has to learn to either do a better job herself or use the resources around her (and remember to make writing center appointments).</p>
<p>My logic on an internship with writing involved is that SHE is the one getting paid, or that they may be evaluating as a long-term hire whether paid or unpaid. It is a tough lesson, but if she is not a good enough writer to do the job, then she shouldn’t have the internship or get the long term job. I can’t proofread for her forever. She is old enough and her brain should be mature enough to either develop her own skills in this area, or find other resources besides her mom to shore up her weak areas.</p>
<p>One thing to consider about this is whether your college has an academic honor code and how it is written/enforced. </p>
<p>For instance, one pledge I’ve often had to sign when turning in any written assignments or take home exams was “I pledge on my honor that I have neither given nor received any assistance for this assignment.”</p>
<p>Depending on how literally that pledge is taken and how they enforce it, having someone else proofread one’s assignments may be considered a violation of a given college’s honor code. </p>
<p>Several of my nieces have asked for my help over the years, as I am that aunt. When S was in high school, I helped him edit an essay. A few weeks later, I was teasing him at dinner and asked him what grade we had received on the paper. He didn’t think I was funny… My own children did not ask for help after high school, except for resumes and personal statements. They found friends to do it. When I found out S had asked D to proofread a college paper after midnight (while she was in med school!) I almost lost it. I bit my tongue and the two of them worked it out. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. I think it varies with each situation. </p>
<p>For instance, one pledge I’ve often had to sign when turning in any written assignments or take home exams was “I pledge on my honor that I have neither given nor received any assistance for this assignment.”</p>
<p>Wonder how this code holds up in colleges with writing centers (which most have) that encourage kids to get help there?</p>