It is still true. I do know that medical students and residents put in very long hours, and that that can put a stress on a marriage.
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We know more than one resident who had a baby during their residency or fellowship. But they had the support of their spouse and/or extended family in terms of child care. In many cases (maybe all), there are provisions for maternity leave during residency programs. I’m not saying it’s easy…but it’s possible.
There’s lots of jobs that put stress on a marriage. I lost my future wife because I was working so many hours in television. I was young 20s - I didn’t realize the impact at the time or know how to make a choice from a dream job. But that’s just the types of curveballs life throws at you.
I don’t think you pick a career now because of something that may not even exist - a significant other. That’s a bit too predictive.
I think, while it’s great to go in all eyes open, you pursue what you want to pursue and if you need to pivot later, you do.
As a high schooler, talk of fiancée’s and babies, etc. - is just way too premature. You have no inkling of how your personal/romantic life might look in the 20s and then 30s.
You adapt - as you face.
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I think it’s way too young now to be thinking of marriage. Just my opinion.
I also think that some careers add more stress than others, and people have to decide what they can handle.
Lastly, on a personal level I am not a fan of BS/MD DO programs.
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Divorce rates among med students and residents are higher than typical.
Hard numbers are hard to come by, but it’s estimated are between 24-50% of married med students/residents end up divorcing.
Med school and residency are very stressful and emotionally draining. The hours are long. Demands on your attention are high. Schedules are not conducive to having a lot of family time.
However, once past the stress of med school/residency, divorce rates for physicians drop and are lower than those for the general public.
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It is possible to have a baby during residency, though it will take lots of support. From family and from the residency program. Some specialties and some programs are more family-friendly than others. It’s something that needs to be researched during residency interviews.
The best time to have a baby during med school is in the first 2 years which is mostly classroom time. Having a baby during clinical rotations is very difficult schedule-wise. You may be required to take a year’s LOA instead of continuing with your clinical rotations. (The same would be true if you had a serious illness or car accident that required several weeks of recuperation.)
Maternity leave during residency is limited. You basically get your annual unused contract-stipulated PTO for maternity. Anything longer than your PTO time off will be unpaid and/or disability leave**. Technically the program is required to allow you up to 3 months of unpaid maternity leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (plus your PTO), but taking that much time off will make your program and your co-residents VERY, VERY unhappy with you. Unhappy because your co-residents will have to work extra hours to cover your absence. (This is an enormous issue in smaller programs. Spreading the work among 45 other co-residents is one thing; spreading it out among other 5 co-residents is quite another.) Also taking that much time off will extend your residency training by adding on another 2-12 months. (Policies vary by program and specialty.) A 4 month gap most typically means you will not be allowed to move up a residency level with your peers and may have to repeat an entire year of residency.
The ACGME and every specialty has requirements for a minimum number of core rotations you need to complete to be considered for licensing and specialty board eligibility. These requirements are not flexible in the least. However, most residency programs have some extra blocks built-in–like a research block or an administration block Those can be done as WFH and can be used to fulfill time-in-residency requirements. But using these lighter, WFH blocks as part of a maternity plan is not something you get to decide; this is something that your residency director and chief resident together get to decide.
** One complication of this is once you’re placed on unpaid or disability leave is that you’re no longer considered employed by the hospital and you lose your health insurance and other employment benefits.
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I have heard that it’s possible. I’ve also heard it’s possible to have a baby during residency or fellowship. I think it’s way too early for me to figure out whether that’s the right choice for me. I can’t begin to imagine being able to answer that question without experience being married, and experience in medical school.
Can you tell me more about why? I know that many people have concerns, and I am trying to understand them, and whether they apply to me.
For example, I hear the concern that sometimes BS/MD can be a way to attract a student to a more expensive path. So, I should make sure I’m looking at the finances carefully when I make the decision on where to go. That advice is also good advice if I don’t get into a combined degree program and am choosing between undergrad only programs.
But I know that there are other concerns. I’d like to hear and understand all the concerns that people have, in case I get to make this decision.
I will say…having a baby at any point during medical school would be challenging. Very challenging.
At this point, figure out your undergrad college…and go from there. Having children (the if and when) is something you would need to discuss with your future spouse. You have other more pressing priorities now.
Plenty of doctors have children…they do.
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What is your budget (undergrad) and can any BS/MD/DO achieve it? Some kids can go to undergrad for as low as $20K - $25K but maybe the BS/MD is multiple of that - just talking the first four years.
I’m not doing that.
I have $400K that I know I can spend. I hope that I can add to that total through working while in undergrad.
One of the programs I interviewed at already offered me a full tuition scholarship, plus it’s a state school, so I’d get $15K a year in DCTAG. That leaves about $8K per year or $32K total, unless I did something like working as an RA, which might bring the cost down further.
That program isn’t close enough to my house, to live at home, but there are other programs that are. My parents are pretty insistent that I live on campus the first year, but they say I could move home after, which would let me save during both undergrad or graduate school.
So, while BA/BS/MD can mean higher costs, for my particular situation, that might not be true.
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So to work, have to get grades and get in an MD/DO. If I had $400K, I’d find an undergrad at the lowest cost I could I don’t know your stats though.
That you have a full tuition scholarship at a state school is AWESOME. $8k per year is awesome. You could just go to med school the other way but perhaps working would get in the way of grades and/or other med type activities.
Congrats to you.
Why would you want to live home? If you can go to undergrad for $8K a year, including living, that’s very compelling. Part of going away to college is going away to college - not everyone can afford, but if you can and are emotionally ready, that’s a home run - maybe far better than any BS/DO you get into unless it’s one of the schools.
All of the programs I mentioned in that post are BS/MD programs, but they are ones I have applied to, and interviewed at but not gotten in to. Some of them, I’m already in as an undergrad, they do the acceptances for the BS/MD later. So at the out of state school, I already know that I am in as an undergrad and about the scholarship, and I’ve interviewed for the BS/MD but they haven’t sent acceptance letters.
As to why I might pick a local school over the state school? If I got into BS/MD at both the school above, and at my favorite of the local schools, I would obviously need to compare the aid packages. It’s possible that with living at home, the cost over the BS+MD would be similar. There are a lot of things that I like about the closer school, and particularly the closer medical school. So, if the cost was the same, I could see making that decision. But at this point I don’t know, because that school hasn’t sent out acceptances yet, and while I know people who have gotten generous merit aid there, their net price calculator doesn’t estimate merit aid.
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RA jobs are very competitive - you cannot count on one.
As to why I am not a fan of BS/MD, DO programs-
One of my kids was invited to apply to these but changed her mind. She was premed all through college and in the time period following, and I believe she was a very strong candidate.
And then she changed her mind….because she discovered what she really wanted to do. This is personal to me and may not apply to you, but it is why I am not a fan of these programs.
If I had $400,000 to spend and was considering medical school, I would try to save money during undergrad and save the bulk of it for medical school.
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Are you talking about an early assurance program? BSMD/DO programs are for HS students applying their senior year.
She was invited to apply to 2 early assurance programs as a HS senior. These invitations came when she applied to the school and expressed an interest in premed.
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That’s interesting. None of the schools I applied to use a system where they invite people. I just followed the directions and applied to the program. Of course, I didn’t apply to all of the programs in the country.
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Some schools have auto merit aid - does this school? Then you can know up front.
But sounds like you’ve sussed through all the issue/opportunities. Good for you.
When she was a senior in HS I did not know much about any of this. Applying to BS/MD or applying through invitations was not something she or I thought about or considered.
The reason why I responded to you was to say that sometimes people change their mind. You may not, of course.
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They don’t. I think that schools that have auto merit aid include it in the net price calculator.