Penn State Schreyer seems different because it is a named honors college. I have kids talk about that more than saying Rutgers honor or U Mass honors. One kid got into Wharton and adds that to the Penn acceptance. Other kids say they are going to the business school at xyz college. I would agree this may be more a case of a kid speaking in a very literal way and you fading a lot into this. Why did you explain that he had large pauses? Did that suggest more bragging or does he tend to speak that way?
I would take it in context. If this is from a student who is feeling disappointed from not being admitted into an Ivy, then if this makes him feel better in front of his peers, then why not?
I knew a student who was the first in her family to go to college. Her family was so proud of her. They said “honors college” every chance they could. I thought- “go for it”. I also hoped her accomplishments would inspire others.
Then, there are some acquaintances who every time I see them, brag about their kids. I am happy to hear updates and also to know they are proud, but this gets old.
I know a lot of kids/parents who only say Ross , Wharton or Newhouse instead of Michigan, Penn and Syracuse. Other parents have complained to me that it is boastful. My feeling is that it is very competitive to get into those programs as a direct admit so they should be able to brag that their hard work did pay off.
There are well known state honors colleges, that act as a separate college within a university, such as Schreyer, Barrett at ASU, etc. I think it’s appropriate to mention them as the “college” to which the child was admitted. As far as mentioning whether you are part of a more traditional honors program, where you are not enrolled in a separate college within the university, I would say it depends on setting and audience. For example, my S will be part of an honors program at a private university, but he only mentions it to family, not to his friends, as that could be perceived as being a bit pretentious. On the other hand, I also feel that there is nothing wrong with someone bragging a little about his/her accomplishments as long as it’s not done in an obnoxious, uppity way - how does dropping a mention of an honors college differ from “I scored 4 goals in the game yesterday” or “I received a Fulbright Scholarship”?
Like many things in life (and like many things on this forum) it’s all about relevance and context. There are no absolutes with these types of issues, despite the attempts of many CCers to define them as such.
If the kid is disappointed with his rejections from his top choices, then maybe his delivery was sort of a, “I’ve got to pump myself up about this.”
Anyway…at end of the year school things, such announcements are almost inevitable.
Maybe he’s just uncomfortable with public speaking.
I just wanted to chime in that Schreyer is a really big deal around here and if it’s bragging, he’s earned it. I believe less than 20% of the kids who applied to Schreyer were accepted this year. I have sometimes heard kids say that they’re going to Schreyer instead of “Penn State Main.” During this past year, we were shooting for merit. As such, Schreyer was the only school on D’s list where we felt there was the possibility of a rejection . D was planning to apply there until she quite unexpectedly received excellent merit packages from two different schools she had only applied to as afterthoughts. After visiting one of them, she said to me that there was no point filling out the Schreyer app (which I understand is quite laborious).
Agreed, getting into Schreyer is a big deal, and I was happy when his mom told me that’s where he was headed. Sadly, he’s not excited about it, so maybe mentioning it in public perked him up a little bit; I hope so. I considered it an unnecessary embellishment in this setting, but clearly I’m in the minority–and that’s OK; that’s why I brought the issue up.
I enjoy hearing about where my D’s classmates are headed, but I don’t really care. What I mean is this: Where a student attends college (if they even go) doesn’t affect my opinion of them. They’re still the same (overall quite nice) kids that they always were; some will just have different opportunities than others. I hope they’ll be happy, but whether they’re attending Penn State Main, or Penn State Schreyer, or Penn State Brandywine, or any of the other thousands of schools out there, is immaterial to me (except for my own D, of course; I do care where she’s going).
As @mom2collegekids notes, there will be numerous similar situations in the next month. I already have the “smile and nod” down pat; now I just have to remember to use it!
FWIW - I am ok with it. But is admission to an Honors College inside a big Uni that big of a deal? My son got put into Honors automatically at UIUC and Minn- he didn’t ask for it - they just assigned him there.
^ Schreyer has a separate application and an 8% acceptance rate.
http://news.psu.edu/story/348974/2015/03/19/academics/record-number-applicants-schreyer-honors-college-class-2019
And see, I felt insulted by that. That’s why we feel like we have to justify it, lol!
Well, at Penn State it is a big deal as there is a separate application that requires lengthy essays. Same with some other places like South Carolina and Kansas; you compete for a spot and they only take a limited number of students. They are also three of the highest ranked public honors colleges in the nation.
Yes, I would agree that context is important.
If among a group that would consider Penn State main campus a reach, perhaps adding Schreyer is stretching things a bit.
At an awards ceremony, it might be considered an oversight if Schreyer isn’t mentioned. Students similarly mention receiving major scholarships based on merit, especially those that are not automatic for stats but require separate applications.
comes across as kind of defensive, like “I know you probably think this school is beneath ds, but he did make it in the honors college so it’s not as bad as you think.”
-This definitely depends more on the ears than the mouth. Since I never think that attending any place could be “beneath” anybody (which is proven by my valedictorian D. attending in-state public, here is my brag again), this would not come across as defensive for my ears. It is just as factual as could be. Saying it or not is strictly a personal choice and there is NOTHING deep in it, just a straightford stating of facts. The boy would feel very honored to hear that his simple non-assuming sentence generated such a huge discussion as this one, that is for sure.
I also believe that the term “protocol” belongs in medical procedures and “royalty” books of rules, not so much in simple un-assuming speaches by HS kids.
Although it turned into a discussion of one sentence by one student, that wasn’t the purpose, which I why I used the term “protocol” in the heading. I specifically asked for opinions as to the circumstances in which it’s OK to mention an Honors College. I have a personal interest as my child is attending such a school, and I see no need to mention the Honors affiliation in casual conversation. But YMMV.
Also, this kid would likely be horrified to know that his word choice was the basis of this discussion. I used his words as an example of something I found off-putting; others assured me that they would not have viewed it the same way. That’s the point of a forum, to read and consider different viewpoints.
I think it has been made quite clear that there is no “protocol.” Mention it when you want to, don’t mention when you don’t want to, just like with every other piece about your life. If you feel like it’s inappropriate or impolite or just unnecessary to mention it, then don’t. If you want to mention it, then mention it. If it bothers you when others talk about it, either ask them to stop or just ignore it. I don’t understand why this has to be so different then how you would treat other topics about your life.
I think Schreyer is special as honors colleges go, but I don’t see any issue with anyone mentioning that they are going to the honors college at a flagship. I know a mom that always says, “My daughter is going into the honors program at University of X” whenever she is asked. I’m happy for her. What drives me nuts is when people throw college names into a conversation where they normally wouldn’t be, e.g., “Tomorrow I’m picking up my daughter from Harvard.”
Reminds me of a story…When my oldest daughter was at summer orientation for her college, every time something was mentioned, one girl would pipe in, “Well, what if you’re in the HONORS college?” My daughter joked that when they talked about fire safety, this girl was going to ask, "Well, is there a special exit for students in the HONORS college?
Seriously, why does it need to be mentioned at all?
I’m pretty sure I’ve heard people say I’m picking up my kid from New Paltz or Wesleyan or whatever college it is. It gets really, really old that I can never mention Harvard without someone being afraid that I am boasting. Luckily our son spared us that, but I’m pretty sure I said "We’re going to Carnegie Mellon as often as I said, “We’re going to Pittsburgh.” This is the only place I even dare say I went to Harvard. But of course people make fun of me if I say I went to college near Boston too.
Just the cross you have to bear, mathmom. You could say “we’re going to Boston to pick up our daughter from college” and then if they care they’ll ask which one.
My brother used to mumble “Ha-vd” (it could be “Haverford”, “Howard” or “Harvard”) when people asked him where he went. He was so tired of either 1) being accused of bragging; or 2) just embarrassed when people went too far in the other direction (“wow! you must be so smart!”) It just seemed like a no-win situation.