<p>I suspect we are all navigating that subtle line between sharing and bragging, with varying results. I admit I have begun mentioning cities rather than colleges with my own kids, adding the school name only if asked specifically. “He went to school in Philly” or “He’s in NYC” because saying UPenn or Juilliard got me funny looks from people. But it varies with my mood; sometimes I’m just bewildered by why I have to hide where my kid goes to school.</p>
<p>I am fortunate to have a handful of friends with high achieving kids, who are comfortable sharing about their kids and hearing about mine. One freely tells me that I am the only person she can talk to without censoring what she says, because she knows I won’t be offended by what her kids have done. She also begs me for recordings of my S, which is nice.</p>
<p>Personal aside to dke - my sympathies about your mom. You’re right; it’s a pivitol event. I had to deal with the loss of my dad in my letter last year. I put it at the end, in context with the meaning of Christmas, and kept it simple and short. “The year has held a mixture of many blessings and sorrows for us, as I know it has for many of you. It was very difficult for us to lose binx’s father last April…”</p>
<p>LOL!! I like this thread. My Ds have been involved with the performing arts on a professional level since they were little. We have all learned not to mention it at all. Not at all. Not to their friends, their teachers, even the drama department at the school. People often react badly. Other kids in school made fun of both of them because of it. They have been called names and talked about. It’s a very weird reaction. So now, the pressure of the business itself combined with the pressure from academics has led them both to quit the business. They retain their union affiliations, but only to keep their hands in. I imagine that any intense involvment in any arena has the same consequences. We had the same reaction from people involving the various gifted programs at school. We just enjoy our family’s triumphs and come together over our tragedies privately. People are strange…</p>
<p>You have to be talking to someone who is not threatened by the discussion and that varies by topic and by individual. I had a good discussion today with a fellow parent of a freshman about the availability of internships for this summer. Both of us happen to believe that the kids need to get that ball rolling, if not finalized, over Christmas break, if they want to go in that direction. I learned a few helpful nuggets from him and vice versa that we can each pass along to the kids for their edification to do with what they will. At the same time, if I were to have that same discussion with a neighbor friend whose kid is in the same school with the same goals, that friend would likely try to one-up somehow, which is of course not the point and would result in a very different take-a-away from the conversation.</p>
<p>As for the Christmas letter, we do a one-page thing with a sentence or two for each month of the year (only sent to out of town relatives and friends). It can be a simple as March: X got his braces off. It is just a family log. We have them going back twenty years and don’t care if the recipients toss them in the trash unread, but some people at least seem to like them and we love looking at them from year to year.</p>