<p>My H & I have very different ideas about privacy. Not in the house so much but as it relates to windows and fences. We live in the city, on a 5000sq ft lot. Our house has double hung windows & faces south, so it gets a lot of light especially in the morning- if the blinds are up.
H is often running around shutting the blinds, because he doesn’t want anyone to see in. ( we are set back from the sidewalk & the street, and are about five steps up.)
So I deal with this by just opening them when he leaves the house.</p>
<p>But he also wants an 8 ft solid fence around our backyard, which I don’t want. It doesn’t go with the style of our house, it would block light and air from the plants I am trying to grow, and I also think it is more neighborly to not have such a high fence, since we are " aging in place" I want our neighbors to be able to easily see into our yard in case we need help.</p>
<p>I’m willing to have a 4’ or 5’ fence with a lattice on top, which I think is a fair compromise.
( having taken out the English holly & privet hedge that ran along the east side of our house- I am growing a native hedgerow of broadleaf evergreens & deciduous shrubs that will be easier to maintain)
But he really can’t even discuss it, it freaks him out at the thought of someone seeing in. I admit, compared to him I am an exhibitionist, but I feel like if he doesn’t want neighbors to see him, why we didn’t move way out into the woods somewhere?
Our previous house was in the burbs with 15’ ft laurel hedge around the perimeter that was a bear to maintain, but the lot was about 8000’ so it didn’t block light into the house.
We chose this particular house together though, with more consideration of what he wanted ( room for a huge work shop & detached garage) than what I wanted ( kitchen window overlooking backyard).
Ideas?</p>
<p>Might be time to have him go out to the street and look in while you wave your arms about to see what really can be seen - do the same in the back yard. Do this in the day and at night. Then you should be able to negotiate more easily. </p>
<p>I’d also research any ways to add “see through” privacy to windows - like a film of some sort that acts as a one way mirror (not recommending this particular treatment, just giving an example). Something that would satisfy him while allowing you to have as much light as possible.</p>
<p>My husband is exactly the same way. We have to keep blinds closed all the time. And he is very unhappy about the gaps in the fence. I would look into the window coating, but we did live in one house that had it and it didn’t work very well so we ended up with closed curtains anyway. Something I have also considered is the gauze-type curtains that let the light in but keep it private, but I really think that wouldn’t be enough for him either. Sometimes we have to learn to live with each other’s ---- (I can’t think how to spell the word but you know what I mean).</p>
<p>Your husband would have a hard time living in my urban house where there is an easement on our driveway allowing passage to other properties behind us. The easement dates to the 1890s. Before our house was built, the neighbors had to be sure they’d have a way to get their cows to pasture. That said, aside from people occasionally walking down our driveway–there are other ways to get to our neighbors’ houses now that cows are not an issue–we have some more privacy than some neighbors where windows look right into neighbors’ windows.</p>
<p>A condition of urban living. How would Hitchcock have made “Rear Window” if you couldn’t snoop on neighbors?</p>
<p>probably one reason why we didnt buy my grandmothers house in a smancy neighborhood, was that it was on the side of a hill,( besides the fact that i was not likely to keep my “lawn like a golf course”) and the neighbors windows looked down into the backyard ( although you could mitigate that a little with landscaping. My grandparents also got along well with those neighbors, they took care of their kids when they were young after they retired and the neighbors helped them out a lot.</p>
<p>i dont really like someone looking down into my yard though, and i dont like looking down into anyone else’s unless it is a long ways off.
but the way our backyard is, you have to go down a driveway to see into our back yard- so it isnt that big of a deal for me.</p>
<p>Having him go outside and look in is a good idea, because he also doesnt like that i put clear glass in the bathroom window instead of frosted. But it looks into our own backyard, so someone would have to be in our backyard to even see if there is someone in the bathroom & the window is just chest high.</p>
<p>My DH is the same about privacy. We have an 8 foot “board on board” fence, which is constructed so that there are no gaps in the fence for someone to be able to see into. I will concede that this type of fence is very common in our neighborhood, and for resale purposes, was a very prudent choice, despite the high cost involved. We planted numerous trees along the back of our lot to ensure privacy from the neighbors behind us, he spoke to the builder of the new house next door about making the upstairs bathroom window glass block or frosted glass (it was the only window which “looked into” our back yard), etc. The builder actually complied with DH’s request. We have special screens on our back windows which serve two purposes: they block the harsh Texan sun, which was fading our upholstered furniture, and provide incredible privacy during the daylight hours.</p>
<p>I’m kind of “meh” about the whole privacy thing, but it is very important to him.</p>
<p>I guess our family is a bunch of exhibitionists. We don’t have curtains or blinds on any window … and our house is below street level. Yes, we live in suburbia now … but we didn’t have any drapes/blinds on our San Francisco row house either. Once you’ve done the community shower thing in sports (or in the Service), an unveiled window that someone might look in while you are fully dressed doesn’t seem very threatening. YMMV.</p>
<p>In case it is relevant, some towns or cities have zoning regs that impact possibilities for fence height. </p>
<p>We do enjoy our top-down/bottom up shades. </p>
<p>EK4-I am like you and quite fond of optimizing daylight. I have many windows that are not covered at all, because our lot allows it comfortably in public spaces. I have a friend who lives 200 feet up a steep hill from the street with no one behind her and shades are always down. There’s a wide range of preferences with this.</p>
<p>Our lot is 4 times the size of yours, with woods behind us. Our house sits somewhat below the road. I leave the shades up all day, but once evening hits and we turn on the interior lights, I close the front blinds. I don’t mind people looking in during the daytime; they can’t see much really, but at night I like my privacy. Most of the neighbors across the street, whose houses sit above street level, don’t have any curtains at night because no one can see in.</p>
<p>Some of my D’s friends don’t like to sleep over if they are going to sleep in the family room, because there is nothing covering the sliding doors that face the back. The bedroom windows all have blinds that we close at night.</p>
<p>*Once you’ve done the community shower thing in sports (or in the Service), an unveiled window that someone might look in while you are fully dressed doesn’t seem very threatening. *</p>
<p>Or once you’ve given birth in a teaching hospital with interns & residents present both Obstetric & Pediatric, not to mention nurses, neonatologists & perinatologists, all exclaiming at your insides, ( it was a section for fetal distress), and made having a vbac in the same hospital relatively lonely.
;)</p>
<p>"once you’ve given birth in a teaching hospital with interns & residents present both Obstetric & Pediatric, not to mention nurses, neonatologists & perinatologists, all exclaiming at your insides,
Except it was the converse… giving birth in the ER with various firefighters, EMTs and family members hanging around looking for their family member to be discharged…</p>
<p>THat said, I like some privacy. There are lightweight shades and curtains that work. Find a compromise that diffuses light and maybe is “top-down” so you can control the bottom half of the windows and leave the tops open.</p>
<p>We have some issues like this, too. It took us six months to find a house and I vetoed at least a couple of ones we quite liked because the subdivision didn’t allow any kind of fencing to be put up at all-- very, very common in the city we chose. I want a six foot privacy fence, and I want it bad. For me it’s not really a matter of being freaked out at the idea of people seeing me so much as it is a quality of life issue. When we visited the “open vista” subdivisions it felt like I was sharing my backyard with the whole neighborhood and I didn’t like it at all. I feel like I can’t relax if I don’t have privacy. Drove bf NUTS, he doesn’t see the need for a fence at all.</p>
<p>Which is really quite unfair, if you ask me, considering that I have to sneak around behind him all day opening blinds when he’s not looking. If he had his way they would be closed 24/7. I tell him I refuse to live in a crypt and open them anyway, then laugh at the faces he makes. I really like those backwards blinds. I was planning on going the transparent curtain route but he also hates curtains… I am sure we will figure something out. There are varying degrees of privacy. When I was growing up we only had a chain link fence, much to my mother’s disgust, but we planted some nice trees between the houses so the neighbors couldn’t see into our kitchen anymore, and built a privacy wall in one corner of the pool to block the other neighbor’s line of sight. That was enough!</p>
<p>Have you looked at Silhouette Blinds? Several brands out there…basically a standard window blind with sheer fabric between slats. Gives more privacy that a basic open blind but lets in more light and view than the basic blind in ‘closed’ formation.</p>
<p>Sounds like lots of alternatives for blinds. And as we just painted the house a color that doesn’t really go with our old ones, it will be a good opportunity to get something that will work for everyone.</p>
<p>EK, I’m almost positive that your H will run into troubles with the building code. Even in our suburban, CCR-less neck of the woods 6 ft is the max fence height that is allowed.</p>
<p>I really like plants for privacy (can’t stand solid wood fences), but a 5,000 sq ft lot is a hard one to work with when it comes to using plants as fencing… And besides, you already have a ton of other plants that need the space and the light!</p>
<p>We just had our property surveyed a year ago when one neighbor was putting up a carport, ( we have an easement granting him access to the carport, but he was trying to put the structure on our property- he had to move it)
To put up a fence without a permit it needs to be less than 8’ high and for one with masonry or concrete elements it needs to be less than 6’, although we could build one 6’ high with 2’ of lattice.
Hedgerows can be taller.</p>
<p>A couple more reasons for opening the blinds:</p>
<p>Why have a nice yard if you can’t look at it? “I/you worked so hard on the yard, and I like to see the results of my/your efforts.” Maybe you should develop bird-watching as a hobby. It’s hard to watch birds with the shades closed.</p>
<p>Opening the blinds allows natural light to come in so you don’t have to turn as many lights on.</p>