<p>My son was home for Thanksgiving and drove his car to a friend’s house to visit. While he was parked in their driveway, my son’s car was backed into by his friend’s mother. She would like us to get an estimate of the damage and would like to pay us herself and not involve the insurance companies.</p>
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<li><p>Is this a bad idea?</p></li>
<li><p>Am I legally required to report the damage to our insurance company? I live in the state of New York. </p></li>
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<p>If it makes a difference, my son tells me that his friend’s mother is a lawyer and therefore wouldn’t have any trouble paying :).</p>
<p>Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.</p>
<p>My husband backed into the housekeepers car in our driveway. Yes I thought he was an idiot…how do you not see a car in your driveway? But, it happens. I also did not want to go through insurance, as that would raise my premiums. So we just had her get an estimate and we payed her. Take picture and keep excellent written records.
Sometimes this is sticky if you don’t know the person, which also happened to me before. And the lady did not want to run it through her insurance. We just got an estimate and she payed the bill. no problems.
In CA ( I am actually totally guessing on this…just assuming which is dangerous)You are not required to report an accident to your insurance company…unless there are injuries. You are not forced to use their services even though you pay for them.
In this world of fender benders, I would suspect this happens a lot. If you are not going to report it, just make sure she is good for the repair money! That is the risk you take. Note that if there is a lot of damage…the hitter may change her mind and use her insurance to pay for the repairs.</p>
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<li><p>It’s usually a bad idea to not report it and trust that the person will really pay you. </p></li>
<li><p>It doesn’t seem that it’d be required to report it but I don’t know about NY.</p></li>
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<p>Your S has no idea about the offender’s finances whether she’s a lawyer or not (they’re not all rich and some actually over-extend their finances - just like many others).</p>
<p>The problem following a crash is - </p>
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<li><p>The more time that elapses between the crash and payment, the more likely the offender will convince themselves that it’s not ‘really’ their fault or at least not 100% their fault (ex; if your S didn’t park there it wouldn’t have happened, it was on their property therefore they don’t think they should have to pay, there was already other damage on the car and they shouldn’t have to pay so much, etc.).</p></li>
<li><p>Fixing damage to a car is almost always more costly than people think it’ll be. Figure it’ll cost probably 5-10 times what the offender thinks it might cost. When confronted with the higher than expected cost they sometimes do whatever they can to not pay. They also sometimes say their brother in law or someone is willing to fix it under his tree in the backyard at a low low price and therefore that’s all they’ll pay rather than quality body shop costs. Not only that, but they get angry at the innocent party as a result when the person wants it fixed properly.</p></li>
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<p>The twist in this one is that this isn’t a random person. If you have a great deal of faith that this person will follow through and pay this damage, actually pay the full, higher than expected amount, then maybe you’ll be wiling to take the risk.</p>
<p>At a minimum - take it right away to a quality body shop to get a written estimate and get the money from the person up front. You should also get them to sign a contract stating they’ll pay the full actual repair costs. Most written estimates have a disclaimer that the final cost could be higher if they uncover hidden damage or certain parts prices have gone up a lot.</p>
<p>A family member here backed into a friends car in their driveway. Their car was a week old. We offered to pay without involving the insurance or making a claim. Our driver was a teen and our rates would have skyrocketed. Of course, these were very good friends.</p>
<p>When I was rear-ended, the person wanted to pay personally. I reported the accident to my insurance company and they kept the information documented in case the person decided to not pay. I was given three choices 1) let my insurance company pay - and they’d then seek reimbursement from the other company 2) Let them help facilitate payment directly from the other insurance company and 3) Take care of it privately. They had no problems with us taking care of it outside the insurance company - and told me just to call back if I had any problems and needed their help. As it turns out, the damage was more than the person expected and they decided to go through their insurance company instead. At that point, it was easy to call and tell them that we were handling it differently.</p>
<p>After I get rear ended in Florida, I ride ambulance to emergency room to get checked out, phone my attorney, let my attorney contact insurance company first.</p>
<p>Your insurance policy more than likely has a provision that you must report accidents “promptly.” If you do not, and the person liable does not pay, the insurer may deny your claim.</p>
<p>It is unwise to rely on another person’s desire to pay outside of insurance, unless you are willing to pay the damages yourself. These cases more often than not end up in small claims court.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the advice. You’ve given me a lot to think about. If the person who hit the car was a stranger this would be easy - I’d go through the insurance company with no hesitation. As it is, though, I don’t want to make things awkward for my son since it is his friend’s mother.</p>
<p>Anyway, I have an appointment to get an estimate at a reputable collision place of my choosing. Depending on the amount of the damage, I will determine how we want to proceed from there.</p>
<p>I’d call my insurance adjustor, tell them what happened and that you are going to have her pay it herself, but that you wanted to let them know in case something goes wrong. I’ve done this before (twice) - adjustors are used to this, it happens all the time.</p>
<p>I had someone offer to pay out of pocket for damages they caused. Went to the shop, got the estimate, but when presented to husband he got testy, said I would have to present the receipt for the finished work. At that point I was done with these jerks. Called agent, was sent to exact same shop and saw that this time the estimate was much lower, like about half, due to negotiated repair rates.</p>
<p>I’ve had some experience with this. Since there’s no issue with your S being at fault, there should be no issue with your/his insurance rates going up. So it boils down to how you wish to treat your S’s friend’s Mother. </p>
<p>As others have pointed out, some people are great at taking care of their obligations … some have lamentable ethics. Since this is your “first time” with this type of situation (presuming you’re willing to give the old lady a break) I’d request payment within a week or so. I’ve had cases where the person dragged things out, evidently hoping that I’d give up or leave myself at a disadvantage. (Put bluntly, there’s no good reason it should take more than a week to get a check once you forward the shop estimate to the S’s friend’s mother.)</p>
<p>If you know the repair shop, let them know there will NOT be an insurance company involved and it’s private pay. Over the years, between aupairs, teenage drivers & a husband backing into things, we’ve gotten to know the owner of the repair shop and he gives us a discount when he knows it’s out of our pocket. (he is not ripping off the insurance company, as that’s all done on the computer these day with each part have a negociated price & labor time. He might know his guys are quicker than the contracted rate, plus he doesn’t have to wait the 7-21 days for the insurance co to pay).</p>