<p>My MIL recently passed. H’s brother has always handled her finances. Technically, there is no will/probate because all of her assets were put jointly in the kids’ names awhile ago (no property at this time, just cash/investment assets).</p>
<p>(the thread title probably isn’t accurate since he may not be considered “executor”.)</p>
<p>H’s brother lent H’s sister money to pay for her D’s private LAC. She has paid some of it back, but not all of it…she makes monthly payments and is current. BIL is now saying he’s going to subtract the amount that she owes, in full, from her share. SIL doesn’t want him to do that, and H agrees. She should be allowed to continue making payments if she wants, since that was their agreement. </p>
<p>It doesn’t seem that BIL should be able to just “pay himself back”, but I’m thinking that there isn’t a way to really stop him. He’s just going to issue checks since he has the check-writing power…and seems to be able to strong-arm the situation. BIL used to have a LOT of money and was very generous to SIL when lending the money. However, he’s had some financial set-backs and he seems to think this is a way to rectify his situation quickly. (He still has a good bit of money, but he’s just not as affluent as he once was.) </p>
<p>We’re thinking that it isn’t right for BIL to take advantage of his position as “check-writer.” </p>
<p>Who would she be writing those checks to? Your MIL was the loaner of the money. If her estate is to be settled, all claims against it should be settled…first.</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but I agree the loan should be discharged first.</p>
<p>If you want to extend a loan to this SIL for the remainder of that loan, that would be fine. </p>
<p>But really, the current loan should be paid in full…if that was the agreement. </p>
<p>It was NOT MIL’s money that was lent. BIL lent SIL his OWN money. </p>
<p>And there never was an agreement that a lump sum payout from MIL’s death would go to BIL. </p>
<p>So, technically, BIL is taking advantage of the fact that he is the check writer.</p>
<p>If we had lent SIL the money back then, then BIL would not be writing us a bigger check. He would just split the money and leave it to SIL to continue paying us. </p>
<p>This is why it’s good to have an official executor of an estate and not just let the siblings sort things out. </p>
<p>It seems to me that if all three siblings are entitled to a certain share of the estate, then the sister should get her share just like the brothers and it’s up to her to handle her debts. So yes, I agree that the BIL is taking advantage of the situation. If a neutral party were in the executor position, there would be no question about this. </p>
<p>I don’t know how much influence your Dh has, but he might be able to reason with his brother on his sister’s behalf. I’m sure you’re wise enough to stay out of it. </p>
<p>I don’t know enough about the law, but it’s possible the sister would have a case to keep her share. You say it was in an account jointly, with all three named? She might want to consult an attorney. Or, it may not be worth the family discord. </p>
<p>Oh, I know that I won’t be saying anything…lol</p>
<p>There are more than 3 kids. The others will also side with SIL. H just doesn’t think that there is anything that can be done to stop BIL from doing what he wants.</p>
<p>I agree with BIL. When he loaned SIL money because she didn’t have any money but now she has the inheritance she should Not need to borrow. Because he is an executor he knows. Why doesn’t your SIL borrow your husband’s money since he agrees with her.</p>
<p>If your thinking stood, then a mortgage company should just be able to grab an inheritance even if you’re current on payments. lol</p>
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<p>That is what H and other sibs think. We shouldn’t have to “pay off” SIL’s debt. She has an agreement with BIL, and she is honoring it. If he wanted a different situation, then he should have specified that when he lent her the money. </p>
<p>Mortgage company is in the lending business, your BIL is not. He is doing it out of the goodness of his heart and your SIL continues to take advantage of it.</p>
<p>I see now. This BIL who is writing the checks made the loan to his sister. </p>
<p>I agree…the sister needs to contact an attorney. If the estate is to be split equally amongst the offspring, then that is the way it should be.</p>
<p>The loan is a completely separate issue. </p>
<p>If you don’t want family angst, however, you and your husband could loan this sister the balance so she could pay the brother off. Then she could pay you.</p>
<p>But really, my guess is YOU don’t want that loan either!!</p>
<p>?? She’s not “taking advantage of it”. He offered, she accepted, they came up with repayment terms, she’s been honoring those terms. She just wants to continue with the same agreed-upon terms. </p>
<p>If BIL wanted the “lump sum” option in the event of MIL’s death, he should have specified that. BTW…BIL’s wife is an atty, and she wrote up the repayment agreement…and SIL has honored it.</p>
<p>@moonchild yes, all kids’ names are on the accounts.</p>
<p>BIL had plenty of available liquid cash to lend…we don’t. And he FREELY chose to lend it (in fact, he was the one who offered! His own D was attending a pricey LAC and he wanted niece to go as well…so he came up with the idea/offer.)</p>
<p>We don’t believe in lending large amounts of cash out that would hurt us if the person was to reneg on the loan. That is just a sound practice. I would never lend an amount that would be too painful if the person never paid me back. If the amount were just a few thousand, no biggie. But we’re talking tens of thousands. BIL’s wife is a partner at a ritzy Chicago law firm, so money is NO object to them, in the least. </p>
<p>I would think that if all of the siblings agree with the sister, enough pressure could be put on the BIL from them that he would relent. As a group, they could threaten legal action (nicely, of course) if he doesn’t do right by the sister. Just because he has the checkbook doesn’t give him the right to take her share without her permission. She needs an attorney who can sort this out with account info, contract agree, etc., in hand.</p>
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This BIL who is writing the checks made the loan to his sister.</p>
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<p>Yes, BIL made a private loan of HIS OWN money to his sister to pay for niece’s pricey LAC. But, he also has check-writing power for MIL’s money (which is technically owned equally by all sibs since the accounts are in all their names.)</p>
<p>I don’t think having power-of-attorney over someone’s finances gives one the right to take someone else’s share of an account to use as they see fit after someone’s death–but I’m not a lawyer. Your sister needs to get one. </p>
<p>^^
I don’t know what he’s thinking, in that regard. He’s not saying that…likely because it wouldn’t make sense since she has made faithful payments (according to both him and her).</p>
<p>I think what is going on is this. BIL and his wife recently purchased another home w/o selling their other home. They thought the other home would sell quickly, and it hasn’t. Likely, they will have to drop the price. Plus, they have 4 kids who have all attended pricey schools and none of them are self-supporting (indulged kids taking it easy). So, I think he just wants a lump sum. </p>
<p>Hi - first - my sympathies on the loss of your mil. I do agree that bil is out of line. The fact that his sister owes him money is a completely separate issue from the distribution of funds among the siblings from the estate. Did she sign any type of promissory note or loan agreement when she borrowed the money from him? If she did, and that agreement has only monthly payments required with no mention of a lump sum repayment required upon mil’s death - he would clearly be in the wrong. If a written agreement does exist - she should consult an attorney. A letter from an attorney threatening court action to freeze distribution of assets might be just the jolt bil needs! If they have only a verbal agreement - then you have more of a “he said, she said” situation - where he may claim that a lump sum repayment from her share of the inheritance was part of their verbal repayment agreement. </p>
<p>It is always unfortunate when one sibling has so much power and the others are at his mercy. Would it be so awful for sil to repay her brother from her share? I get that she does not want to do so, but it would relieve her of having to make the monthly payments to him, and more importantly, would relieve her of having him wield power over her. It might be worth it to have peace of mind from the whole dynamic.</p>
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