question for adults

Parents Forum
1

<p>i always hear people talking about how acheivement’s just an incidental byproduct of passion, and i know a few people who actually do well b/c they like learning. i do in some ways share their love of learning… when i read i find a lot of the material enjoyable, so much that i might even crack a book open on my own in my free time and read ahead. But at the same time i find myself driven by this annoying desire to succeed and be recognized, like i won’t be an adequate person if im not #1 or somewhere pretty close to it. i realize this is irrational and silly, but i just can’t seem to get over it. even though i might enjoy studying for ap exams, the only reason im studying that hard in the first place is that i want to get straight 5s. i think competing in quiz bowl is really fun, but im never completely content if i don’t win. i can’t bring myself to feel good about anything unless meet my own expectations and i feel rewarded/that ppl appreciate what i do. i was sad to realize my motives aren’t the most noble.</p>

<p>how do i get over myself?</p>

2

<p>find a way to help someone else!
it’s like magic! ;)</p>

3

<p>Ambition isn’t all bad. But, yes you might feel better if you can use it as a force for good.</p>

4

<p>Have you gone through the college application process? Because if you haven’t, don’t worry, you’re going to realize you’re not necessairly #1 whether you want to or not.</p>

5

<p>The idea that achievement is just an incidential byproduct of passion is more of an ideal than an everyday reality for most people.</p>

<p>If we waited for passion before accomplishing anything, most of us would still be sitting in the nursery school sandbox.</p>

<p>Ambition may not be a noble motive, but if it works for you, go for it.</p>

6

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<p>Boy, this sounded like me 20+ years ago. I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my feelings of self-worth were tied to my the academic success I had experienced in high school and college. Then I attended a super-selective law school and found myself in the middle of the pack academic-wise–and got my first C in my life during that first semester.</p>

<p>I was crushed and depressed for about 3 days. But then I realized that it is really dumb to base your self worth on something as external as grades. It took some time, but I changed my perspective on life, self-esteem, what I wanted out of law school, etc. and had a happier time at law school and in life.</p>

<p>So, how do you get over yourself? Experience disappointment and work through it.</p>