I send holiday cards to friends who live far away and relatives with whom I don’t have much contact during the year. My cousin’s husband passed away last summer. I went to his memorial service (flew to the midwest from the east coast) and have spoken to my cousin since the funeral just to check in on her. I don’t think a holidy card is appropriate, but I do want to send her candy that I know she loves. Not sure of the etiquette–I am pretty sure that a holiday card isn’t appropriate. Is the candy OK to send? I will definitely write a note.
I don’t see why you can’t send an appropriate holiday card. Not the generic ones we all send, but something appropriate. If I’m not mistaken, there are cards that say something like “thinking of you during this holiday season.”
If she’s used to receiving a card from you, she may not understand why you left her off the list this year.
The candy would be a wonderfully thoughtful gift. I probably wouldn’t send the card.
Candy and a nice handwritten note with some of your thoughts for them is always a class act.
I was glad to receive holiday greetings the year I was widowed (May); some kind folks put in a note acknowledging the difficulty of the firsts. I think an empty mailbox would have made that gaping hole feel even bigger. The candy is very thoughtful.
I frankly cannot imagine why a holiday card would not be appropriate. Put yourself in her shoes. You are accustomed to receiving cards from certain people. Suddenly, now that you are widowed, they don’t appear? What are you, chopped liver? You don’t count anymore?!?
I like the idea of sending a card plus the candy. This is a person who you know will need some extra TLC this year!
Send the card and the candy.
Cards are not just for the faraway or relatives you do not talk to regularly. Holiday cards are for everyone! I think a cousin who lost her husband is precisely who you should send a card to (and candy) so that she knows she is remembered and cared for. Send both
I would send the card too. Your cousin didn’t die. Her life continues, and perhaps she hopes folks will remember her this holiday season.
A nice note would be nice…and the candy added is nice too.
I would send the card and the candy. And I’d be thoughtful about the note/salutation you include. A friend of mine had a serious surgery last week and I wrote a note on her holiday card wishing her good health and peace (or something like that).
I’m not sure why the card would be inappropriate. Maybe not one that says “Merry Christmas”, but there are plenty of holiday sentiments that don’t sound quite so cheery.
I think the card is totally appropriate. Many people who are bereaved just want someone to treat them as “normal” people, not just a gaping wound. You can acknowledge her loss without wallowing in it, and still treat her as living.
My Christmas card said something about joy and love, so I wrote something about knowing it wasn’t a joyous time, but reminded her that she is loved by many.