@skieurope didn’t satirise average Americans, s/he just made the point that it is a relatively small % of the population that is caught up in the prestige stakes around that particular group of colleges. And “people in the know” don’t parse top-tier schools as being between ‘top 5-8 LAC’ and ‘Top 10 Uni’: they are more holistic and look at the relative strengths of each that are relevant to them. The opportunities coming out of any of them will not be materially different.
Is there a family business which you believe is your only choice in life? because otherwise I don’t understand why you are choosing to do something that will make you miserable.
So, what is your real question? If you get offers from both Barnard and Oxford, which should you take? the one that suits you best. Consider things such as:
= How big of a difference to your professional career goals will one name make vs the other when you go back to your home country after graduation? UG LAC + PG Uni is a popular option.
= Is your family happy to spend +/- USD300K on your UG degree at Barnard vs +/- USD150K at Oxford (assuming international student status)?
Going to Oxford to study something you don’t want to study is a recipe for disaster. Worse than not getting in is getting in and rusticating out.
Of course, until you have competing offers this is all hypothetical.