<p>My 12 yr. old has two friends who apparently aren’t allowed to listen to top 40 radio I discovered that when we were all in the car and I just turned it on. They said how “cool” I was because their mothers would NEVER allow them to listen to it. I figure at 12 they’re going to be hearing all about pop culture from friends and at school, right? Is this unusual or is it just where we live? My kids have listened to this stuff since 1st grade!</p>
<p>By 12 my youngest was facing offers to get high or drunk at school. Top 40 radio…give me a break. And we live in an upper middle class suburb with excellent schools.</p>
<p>While I don’t have a child I do have a nephew with whom this issue came up over the summer. My uncle will let him listen to music that doesn’t have a warning sticker on it…period. Now everytime the kid gets in the car with me he wants to hear the radio and I don’t know the restriction…but apparently he can listen to the radio but not “marked” music. Best I can tell you is that many parents don’t want to talk about the issues with their kids but rather allow the gov’t to make the decision and don’t trust the radio. I personally don’t see how this teaches growth and morals but rather avoids that whole issue. Just my experience…really wacky.</p>
<p>Our problem is a 6-year old who worships the ground his 16-year old brother walks on. And that includes wanting to listen to the same music. Older S is actually quite responsible in letting younger brother listen to his CD’s, but inevitably stuff slips through the cracks despite his efforts and our efforts to appropriately filter stuff, skip tracks, etc. I don’t see it as a big problem, though. Granted, having a 6-y.o. who sings Green Day rather than Disney is a little odd . . .</p>
<p>My niece was telling me that her D (age 7 right now) is not allowed and will not be allowed to use the Internet or IM. Apparently, she feels that a Total Ban is warranted due to the dangers of Internet child molesters, etc. My suggestions re value of Internet, how kids socialize this way now versus telephone, how she can monitor her D’s use - as we did when S was younger - were of no persuasive value to her.</p>
<p>I wonder - how common this is? how long it will be before her rigid rules fall by the wayside (call me a cynic)?</p>
<p>Yea well my nephew is restricted online also…it is amazing how these parents think that total ban is the answer. I don’t guess they want to spend the effort/time to be with child and to set up safety. It is amazing to me. What happened to think for self?</p>
<p>I think this is common when the 12 yo is the oldest child and the family has not been faced with the ridiculous situation of trying to control what the younger child hears/sees when there is an older teen in the home, nevermind the everpresent exposure from the media at large. When my kids were younger I did try to limit their exposure to R movies, violence, rap, etc but soon found it to be nearly impossible. Over the years I have tried to limit the amount of violent movies, trashy movies in the home (as in, I don’t deliberately bring home these movies), but I have found it better to talk about what they are overwhelmingly exposed to via the everpresent media, friends, etc to provide an opinion or a POV. It reminds me of alcohol - you know that forbidding it doesn’t stop kids from drinking but you that talking about the pros and cons, exposure, etc. gives kids a sense of values and perspective about it.</p>
<p>It’s very tough to monitor online activity past a certain age but seeing the easy access to extreme porn does make it a concern.</p>
<p>Maybe the parents who impose an internet BAN do not even know that you can set your filters at an appropriate level, or that there are programs that block some of the truly nasty pop-up stuff. In any case, isn’t it better to hear and know and discuss, than bury your head in the sand.</p>
<p>When my kids were little, we listened to the oldies alot, I wanted them to know the Stones, the Dead, Led Zepplin, and to my Hs dismay, disco. We talked about the lyrics, ie, when the Doors were on Tv and were supposed to change words, when the Stones did, etc. </p>
<p>We also did the Disney Station for awhile, their choice…</p>
<p>My Ds aren’t that much into the songs that have the really icky lyrics…</p>
<p>And what do her kids listen to? Country has some interesting lyrics- cheating, death, sex…what is safe?</p>
<p>Not use the internet? How is she supposed to do school work…research that really up to date? I told my kids, don’t look up anything you wouldn’t want me to know you were looking at, cause I would know. </p>
<p>As well, IMing is the new phone…what does mom think would happen…these days you need to raise smart kids, not ones so sheltered that they are clueless in the world</p>
<p>Five years ago, when Ds were 11 and 9, we took them to see the Stones before they died (who knew).</p>
<p>I guess not talking about the porn is another issue. My family was pretty clear about the slippery slope with me. I guess I didn’t have that much trouble with landing where I wasn’t supposed to. You can buy software to see every hit your kid makes…it takes time to reveiw. Of couse you cannot supervise every minute…trust and careful monitoring should help though.</p>
<p>We listen to a lot of classical music in our home & usually have the radio tuned to public radio in the car. We have given the kids unlimited computer access since they were in 4th grade or so, BUT we all use our computers in the living room, often sitting just a few feet from one another. From time to time, we discuss our concerns about children being subject to predators via the internet & our kids reassure us that they’re careful & safe, generally only interacting with kids at their high school and when they interact with the public change their entire persona (including age & gender). They figured this out quite a while back–without any advice from us. When they have been invited to meet folks they’ve chatted with on-line, they’ve always declined.</p>
<p>Being a ostritch & ignoring the internet or having a total ban on it doesn’t seem like the best way to prepare our kids for their futures. I figure before we know it, our kids will have places of their own and have to make good choices. I’d rather they figure it out while they still live at home & we can help them if there’s a problem.</p>
<p>Starion</p>
<p>Ages - 14 and 17 (off to college this fall)</p>
<p>14 year old son got a screen name banned from AOL at age 8 for inappropriate ?chatroom behavior, can’t remember all the details now, what he actually did was not THAT bad, I think he posted a questionable link to a very G-rated chatroom, but inappropriate at 8 - he got banned from any Internet for about 2 years, read the riot act, grounded, various punishments (hung by the heels, whipped with a hair rope, etc), but he hasn’t done THAT again.</p>
<p>As for music and movies - both of our children have a great appreciation for oldies, and we appreciate some of their music - we have never been too strict about music when you can’t understand any of the lyrics anyway - we do have many talks about quality of pop and rock, and what will and will not withstand the test of time (for example, almost everything “pop” in my day - 70s - is pretty awful) - they also know some classical, although everyone’s jazz knowledge in our family is slim.</p>
<p>I do have real problems with visual trash - movies, VH-1, video games - I don’t think violent vidoe games alone turn a person into a criminal, BUT, the combination of visual, sound, and story/text is quite powerful, and does influence, sometimes in subtle ways peoples’ thinking attitudes and behaviors - I don’t think a constant diet of that stuff is good for anyone!</p>
<p>So, no mature video games, obviously, and Mom has to play and approve any Teen rated games. MTV gets turned off pretty fast, we do watch VH-1, but Mom and Dad watch, too, off and on, and make lots of comments - as well as occasionally getting up and just turning it off. No R-rated movies, even the 17 year has only been to one, unless pre-screened by parents. We just watch a lot of stuff together, and talk about it, and they now know where the lines are drawn for us, so that their choices are moving from a notion of censorship to more taste or choice.</p>
<p>Did you hear about the radio station that wanted to cancel Prarie Home Companion because they used the word “breast” in a quote…</p>
<p>Pat Robertson but that is a different thread today…American Mullah</p>