<p>My dad was rendered disabled when I was a young child and we have been receiving social security money to live on. As I turned 18 before I graduated high school, my social security money ended the month after graduation. My dad can pay all the house bills and such with his money, but the loss of my portion does put a bit of a financial burden on him, especially since I have no car and must travel about 30 miles to and from my July summer class four times a week.
I was advised not to get a job throughout my high school career by my father, so I have saved up all my money from birthday cards and graduation gifts and such. I tried to get a job this summer, but no one would hire me because I am moving out of state to go to college this August. My dad also advised me to not get a job for the first semester/year of college. The money that I saved was supposed to be used for the purchase of all my dorm things (bedding, furniture, etc.) and to take some to support me throughout the year for necessities, clothing, and incidentals. </p>
<p>This is my real dilemma: I offered to pay my dad $200 because he paid for some of my summer class tuition, but he told me to keep it and that we might need to use it later for the house (food, gas, bills, etc.). But now he wants to charge me one month’s rent: $350.
He says the markup was for gas that I used while traveling to my summer class.
Is this okay for him to do when I don’t have a job, have to buy my own dorm necessities, get through at least a semester of college without a job, and have a limited amount of saved cash?</p>
<p>(P.S. I understand the fact that this teaches responsibility, but I kind of feel like I’m being milked for money. Am I wrong to think this?)</p>
<p>I think your dad underestimated the impact of the SS being cut when you turned 18. In the dark ages ( when I was a kid), I got the SS when I turned 18 and it continued until I graduated from college. When I started getting my portion in a check, my mother charged me $100 per month for the three months before I left for college. That was 1976. I thought it was a terrible thing to do, but I paid it.</p>
<p>To me, your dad has asked you not to work, so that you could do your school work, but now he is short. If you have the money, give it to him. This will probably be the last time he will need to ask because he will adjust to the smaller check. </p>
<p>It stinks. Maybe you can compromise on the amount so that you can get some of the things you need. Best wishes as you transition to college.</p>
<p>I don’t mind paying him the money I promised, I just don’t really understand why I would have to pay him the extra $150. To me, $350 is a lot when I have no other source of income. I suppose I can ask him to compromise, but I doubt that will work out. (My dad’s really stubborn and opinionated, like me.)</p>
<p>Also, since I turned 18 last year, my check came in the mail, too. But I didn’t get any of it, so I think that could’ve been handled better. Plus I lived with my mom last month and didn’t cost my dad any money.</p>
<p>I would pay him the $350 and get a part time job at college unless there is some reason why you can’t handle both. Even if you don’t need the money, having a paying job is a nice thing to put on your resume.</p>
<p>Most college work study jobs are eee-zee. They usually work around your class schedule and offer flexibility during exam times. And they are right there on campus. You don’t need that much for “dorm things.” What furniture? A comforter, sheets, towels, a few supplies. You may need money for books, if that’s not covered- but can usually buy used or rent them (my kids barely hit half the amount the college quotes.)</p>
<p>Yes, you should contribute. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t get your prior check amount in your own hands. He was putting a roof over your head and- I’d bet- denying himself things he wished he could have afforded. Is this a one-time payment? Partly a reimbursement and partly a contribution. </p>
<p>Get a school job, pay for your phone and when you’re home on vacations, chip in in some way. You’re part of the team.</p>
<p>I remember the strain when we lost my portion of the SS check in 09. It really sucks, especially when that parent is just unable to work. </p>
<p>IMO, your dad is being unreasonable. I do not think it’s unreasonable to demand rent and whatnot- that’s fine. I do think it’s unreasonable to ask for it and then demand that you do not get a job. </p>
<p>At 18, I really, truly believe that you should be paying for your own gas and whatnot. You are not being milked for money. You are being a contributing adult to your household.</p>
<p>From what I’m reading here, I think the unreasonable part is that this wasn’t discussed and settled well in advance. </p>
<p>Your father is in the same situation as divorced custodial parents who stop receiving child support at emancipation. Wasn’t your father aware that payments would stop?</p>
<p>However, it sounds like your father really needs a contribution from you, so I think it’s right for you to do what you can. It’s part of what being a member of your particular family includes. Pay him what you can now, and give him some of your future earnings till you’ve “paid off” what he’s asking for. But it’s unreasonable to ask you to pay if you have no income (just like its unreasonable to expect him to support you without the “income” he got from SS on your behalf). The money has to come from somewhere, and it looks like that means a part-time job for you.</p>
<p>I would pay him, get it over with. and while his advice is to not work while you are in school, most college towns have jobs that would take a minimum of time and a little extra spending money for you, that is yours alone, can’t be all that bad an idea. I agree the upjump in payment is somewhat arbitrary, but life is like that. It really, really is.</p>
<p>I think that a part-time job at school would be quite manageable and would really help you out financially. Did he just advise you not to get a job, or did he mandate that?</p>
<p>Agreed. One shouldn’t be springing this sort of thing on anyone…especially a younger person still in school and with whom one has discouraged from getting a job. </p>
<p>There’s a bit of troubling inconsistency and lack of consideration on the father’s part on what the son could contribute on such sudden notice.</p>
<p>Do get a part-time job at college. You need the work experience even more than you need the money. Most student jobs are in the range of 10 hours a week or so. You should be able to fit that in.</p>