Questions about Greek Systems

Hunt · July 28, 2011, 1:47pm

There have been a lot of discussions of Greek systems, and they typically devolve into a discussion of whether Greek systems are bad or good. I’d like to ask a few quesitons that might help a high school student (or parent) evaluate Greek systems at colleges, and particular fraternities and sororities. Feel free to add others–I am trying here not to be biased, as much as I can. I’d be interested in generalities, if there are any, as well as examples of how these things might work on specific campuses.

How much do chapters of the same F or S resemble each other from campus to campus? That is, are there particular characteristics that tend to be imposed by the national organization? How much variation is typical, or is accepted?
What is the impact on Greek life of having or not having houses, and whether members actually live in them? What if the Fs have houses, but the Ss don’t?
How time-consuming is participation in the F or S? What impact does it have on time for other activities?
How fluid is membership? Do people quit, or move to other organizations? What about transfer students?
How “specialized” are particular houses? Ethnic, religious, majors, sports, activities? What are the pros and cons of this?
How much emphasis is there on collective activities? Do members tend to all eat together, watch TV, go out, etc.?

northeastmom · July 28, 2011, 2:07pm

Hunt, I can answer only for the chapter of the fraternity my son is involved with on his campus.

<ol>
<li>My son has told me that the fraternity he is involved with has a completely different culture of the chapter at one at a state university (he only knows this second hand through friends who attend that state U).</li>
<li>The school my son attends does not offer Greek housing for his chapter, so he lives in a regular dorm.</li>
<li>My son says that it is as time consuming as one wants to make it, however I know that they have one meeting per week that all must attend.</li>
<li>In the chapter my son is in, I don’t think that anyone quit during the one year that he has been there. A few might not be in the fraternity if they did not make the grade, or obviously if they left the university.</li>
<li>On the campus my son is on they are not very specialized at all (as far as I am aware).</li>
<li>There are collective community service activities, participation for Greek Week functions, and certain weekends they do things as a group for an entire week-end (I think this happens 2-4 weekends per year and not all partipate in each of these weekends). Also, collective activities during the rush period (guessing from bits and pieces that I have heard only).</li>
</ol>

A few questions that were not asked that are important are cost to belong (way too expensive IMO), and about opportunity. My son has had lots of opportunity for personal growth. I am very happy with his participation in Greek life. Also, on his campus one must keep a minimal GPA to stay involved in Greek life. I think that the house keeps track of average GPA of members too (definitely a bit of peer/brother pressure to keep a decent GPA).

Little_Mother · July 28, 2011, 2:35pm

S (who graduated from college in '05) joined a fraternity spring of his freshman year but didn’t live there until his sophomore year and then, for only a year. He saw it as a money-saving option as well as a way to meet students outside his major. Plus, the house was across the street from the res hall where he lived freshman year so distance to campus was the same.

Some fraternities hold rush (recruiting pledges) during the first week of school. It varies from school to school.

<ol>
<li>The chapters of his fraternity are pretty similar from campus to campus. He met a brother from another chapter and visited that house - felt right at home. Also, my husband was a member of the same fraternity at another institution - but son didn’t know that until after he pledged.</li>
<li>On S’s campus, I believe both fraternities and sororities had houses. Residing there wasn’t mandatory; S lived in an apartment jr. and sr. years but remained active in the fraternity.</li>
<li>Brothers who lived in the house were responsible for certain housekeeping duties. S (who was a design major) contributed by participating in certain activities and designing things for the house. It wasn’t detrimental to his participation in other activities or to his academics.</li>
<li>Once pledged, brothers remain brothers even if they don’t live there. I have known some other folks who tried out a fraternity but ended up not pledging. Students can pledge whenever houses hold rush - so transfer students can join fraternities.</li>
<li>Some houses develop reputations, e.g., jock house, party house. S joined his fraternity because brothers there were considered the “gentlemen of fraternity row.” Houses at S’s schools weren’t specialized.</li>
<li>As with northeastmom’s S, my S was expected to participate in community service activities, etc. As for eating together, there was no meal plan, so S just ate on his own or with his buddies whenever their schedules allowed.</li>
</ol>

I think there also was a “competition” to see which house had the highest GPA each semester. Unlike northeastmom’s S, S’s fraternity costs were much lower than living in a res hall, plus he paid for everything himself.

Hope that helps!

HPuck35 · July 28, 2011, 2:39pm

My experience with fraternities is limited to my being a member and living in one many years ago. But your questions are somewhat general, so I’ll give it a try.

“1. How much do chapters of the same F or S resemble each other from campus to campus? That is, are there particular characteristics that tend to be imposed by the national organization? How much variation is typical, or is accepted?”

They very from campus to campus. The variation can be significant. Heck, they even vary from year to year as members graduate and others join. The national organization has some very general guidelines about what kind of person they want their members to be. The national organization doesn’t “police” the individual houses as much as the college will (or should). Note that the college is also responsible for policing the dorms. So if you have a problem with the fraternities, you probably will with the dorms also.

“3. What is the impact on Greek life of having or not having houses, and whether members actually live in them? What if the Fs have houses, but the Ss don’t?”

I only can speak about a fraternity that has it’s own house. It was my residence during college. Living with your fellow brothers produces a bond that lasts a lifetime.

“4. How time-consuming is participation in the F or S? What impact does it have on time for other activities?”

Where I lived, you could participate or not in the fraternity activites with the exception that you were expected to particpate in our monthly house meetings (where the house business was conducted). Of course you joined the fraternity for a reason, so most brothers participated in some house activities. Others were quite involved. I tended to be involved.

If you are worrying about whether your son or daughter will pay adequate attention to their studies? We had brothers getting after others for not studying enough. We wanted them to succed as that was part of being a brother.

“5. How fluid is membership? Do people quit, or move to other organizations? What about transfer students?”

People generally didn’t quit one fraternity and move to another. I can only remember one case of that happening.

Some brothers were members of other organizations, but not another fraternity.

My roommate my junior and senior year was a tranfer student. He joined the fraternity when he arrived on campus as a sophomore.

“6. How “specialized” are particular houses? Ethnic, religious, majors, sports, activities? What are the pros and cons of this?”

You do tend to find that people with like interests will cluster together, whether in the context of a fraternity or not. My house had several members of the varsity hockey team (including myself) and the house also had intermural teams at several different levels/leagues. A few years later, they were into something else and only had a “D” league (ie. the lowest level) intermural team (and they weren’t very good even at that level). Interests change as the membership changes thoughout the years.

We had people from all over the country and even the world (one brother from South Korea, one from Germany and two from Czechoslovakia. We had a good intermural soccer team). Many different religions, many different majors, etc. It isn’t always that way. I was back to the house recently for alumni weekend and it was still quite a diverse group.

I tried new things as a member of the fraternity. Some of the brothers were into it and I listened to them and thought I’d give it a try. Conversely, I got a few guys that had never been on skates to try ice hockey. You would probably have had a similar experience in the dorms also.

"7. How much emphasis is there on collective activities? Do members tend to all eat together, watch TV, go out, etc.? "

We ate together as the house also provided meals (usually at two sittings). In my day, we only had one TV, so TV watching was a group activity (if you wanted to watch TV) and also a debate (which channel).

Again, we joined because we enjoyed each others company so we tended to do things as a group. That didn’t mean we only did things as a group, we did things with other people and other groups. We were also close to a couple of other fraternities and the two fraternities would sometimes group together for activities.

Your son or daughter needs to check out ANY potential organization (Greek or not) and see if it is right for them. What works well on one campus may not work so well at another, or vice versa. And if it isn’t right after you join, leave. Just don’t miss out on something that could be great just because of a preconcieved opinion that it isn’t good. Joining a fraternity was one of the best things I did at college.

MizzBee · July 28, 2011, 3:11pm

<ol>
<li>How much do chapters of the same F or S resemble each other from campus to campus? That is, are there particular characteristics that tend to be imposed by the national organization? How much variation is typical, or is accepted?
To me, chapters are VERY different based on the campus. Even though they hold to the same values/ideals, it it not uncommon for the jock house at state u to be the nerd house at the private u next door. Also, just because house X is the jock house this year doesn’t mean that it will be 5 years from now. Reputations/stereotypes tend not to work, especially in large SEC schools with 100+ member pledge classes. </li>
<li>What is the impact on Greek life of having or not having houses, and whether members actually live in them? What if the Fs have houses, but the Ss don’t?
Again, that depends on the campus. In some places, the houses are absolutely necessary, especially if there is no alternative place to party. Many campuses don’t have S housing, but girls hang at the chapter room, live together in dorms, apts.</li>
<li>How time-consuming is participation in the F or S? What impact does it have on time for other activities? Greeks tend to partipate in outside activites as well. I advise at a chapter that has girls that participate in an average of 3 clubs in addition to the S. </li>
<li>How fluid is membership? Do people quit, or move to other organizations? What about transfer students? Once initiated, it is not allowed to join another Pan-Hel sorority (PHC). Once initiated, you can still join a service fraternity. Most IFC fraternities have the same rule. Once initiated, you are in. If someone depledges, they may be eligible to join, but other groups may not want them as brothers/sisters. As for transfer students, it depends on the school. In some schools it is very difficult for anyone other than freshman to join, at some schools, it doesn’t matter. If you pledge X at University Y, it doesn’t mean that you will be able to affiliate with X at University B either. There is a vote. If they choose not to allow you to affiliate, you take alumni status. </li>
<li>How “specialized” are particular houses? Ethnic, religious, majors, sports, activities? What are the pros and cons of this?
Again, it depends on the school Some organizations are historically religious, but it varies on the campuses. Also, there are also historicallyblack fraternities and sororities (that operate with their own traditions that don’t necessarily match the image of Greek life on CC). As for sports, activities, that can change based on the interests of the members. I will leave the pros and cons up to others. </li>
<li>How much emphasis is there on collective activities? Do members tend to all eat together, watch TV, go out, etc.?
Depends on the campus. At my house, we ate dinner nightly, had required chapter meetings, required number of house hours. The parties were optional for the most part. I could always find a sister activity if I wanted one. </li>
</ol>

On the site G R E E K C H A T you can quickly see how differnt the experiences are based onthe school. the things that are constant are the organizations values, the brotherhood/sisterhood, and the shared experiences of going through college with a second family (and thefact that you don’t have to like all members of that family). Read a few recruitment threads and you will see how different the systems are, and how unique the people are.

Lafalum84 · July 28, 2011, 5:31pm

Hunt, kudos to you for asking some insightful and fair questions. I have a son in a fraternity at one college, and a daughter in a sorority at another. My husband was in a frat in the 1980’s, but I remained independent.

1) Many national organizations have somewhat of a national “type” or reputation, but any given chapter may or may not fit that mold. S’s frat at his LAC is very different from another chapter of his frat at a large state univ (he met kids from the large state univ chapter on a study abroad semester). On the other hand, D’s sorority chapter pretty much fits the reputation of their national.

2) What happened to question 2? (LOL)

3) Having a house makes a big difference, IMHO. S’s fraternity has a large house where almost all of the brothers live, and it includes a meal plan with 7 - 9 meals per week. This can keep the brothers somewhat isolated from the rest of the campus, although S maintained friendships with a few non-brothers and of course some girls. D’s college has college-owned Greek houses that only hold 12 students and don’t have meal plans. As a result, the Greeks there are more integrated into the rest of the campus.

4) During pledging, greek organizations are time-consuming. Pledging lasts anywhere from 3 weeks to an entire semester, depending on the campus and organization. After that, it pretty much depends on how much the individual wants to be involved. I think most chapters have a weekly meeting that lasts a couple hours, but beyond that it depends on the chapter and how involved the member wants to be. There may be mandatory participation in the chapter’s philanthropic activities.

5) Greek groups aren’t terribly fluid. If you disassociate from your organization, there is a waiting period to join another one. They do generally take in transfer students.

6) In my experience, the more organizations there are on campus, the more specialized they become. Back in the day (1980s) my campus had 17 fraternities for a total population of 1000 males. To this day I can tell you that the wrestlers were in Fiji, the band was in Theta Chi, Soccer team was Chi Phi, track team was KDR, richest guys were in Zete or Sigma Nu, etc. But now that same campus has only 5 frats for 1200 men, and the frats are not nearly so specialized. S’s frat had a mix of majors, religions, and ethnic backgrounds. At D’s college, there are some historically black frats & sororities, so the rest of the Greek organizations are almost purely white because the black students tend to join the historically black organizations.

7) Collective activities - depends on the organization. But generally, people join a Greek organization because they like the people in it and want to spend time with them. So you’d expect them to do a lot of things together.

Hunt · July 29, 2011, 9:19am

Thanks for the answers. One reason I asked them was to try to tease out just how much research a kid might want to do if he wants to evaluate the Greek scene on a particular campus. It seems to me that he should do a fair amount–for example, he shouldn’t assume that the chapters on one campus will resemble those he’s heard about elsewhere (for good or ill).

MiamiDAP · July 29, 2011, 11:39am

I have answer to only one question: it is very time consuming. You would see much fewer pre-meds/engineering than other majors. However, it is all worth it, if a kid participates, otherwise, it is waste of money. And many of them do waste money, according to my D. She had no plans to be part of Greek, but changed her mind later and is very happy that she did. Still keeps in touch after graduation. She did a lot, her group’s effort were responsible for making them into chapter from colony, D. went to National, which was amazing experience and she has improved many leadership skills. D’s S. did not have a house, her UG does not allow houses for S., only F. have a houses. Nobody really objects to that, seems to be working just fine. D’s UG is know to be huge in Greek with some S. and F. originated there.

Pizzagirl · July 29, 2011, 1:29pm

<ol>
<li>While there are some very general stereotypes, chapters can be completely different from one campus to the next. At my sister’s state university, their chapter of my sorority were a pretty wild, party house that got into trouble. We weren’t like that :-). I would say that the historically Jewish frats tend to be a bit more similar from campus to campus, but different chapters will have different concentrations of Jewish students depending on the overall campus culture. For example, at some, the historically Jewish frats will be 99% Jewish and most Jewish men who are interested in rush will congregate there, whereas in others the Jewish population will be more “spread apart” and dispersed into various frats. I am making a pretty big generalization, however.</li>
</ol>

There is really no characteristic that is “imposed” by the national organization, as each chapter picks its own set of members.

<ol>
<li>The system I can report on has Greek houses that are right on campus, right next to and intermingled among “regular” dorms. Most students live in their junior year, sometimes senior, and occasionally sophomore if there is enough room. I think the guys who don’t live in board at their houses; the girls who don’t live in eat one meal a week there at the time of the all-chapter meeting. A typical sorority had maybe 100 - 120 members of which maybe about 35 - 40 live in the house at any given time. Physically, Greeks aren’t “separate” from the campus. I think campuses where the houses are separate (on an off-campus fraternity row type of thing) may be more prone to being more exclusionary or making it more difficult to mingle with non-Greeks who are living in dorms. </li>
<li>It is as time consuming as you want it to be. There was typically a mandatory one-night-a-week all-chapter dinner and meeting, plus activities related to rush. You could be an officer and spend lots of time on house activities; you could just show up for exchanges / mixers and formals. But I can tell you that plenty of us had significant other campus activities, including the theater majors who were quite consumed with rehearsals, journalism majors who wrote for the student newspaper, student government, and all the usual types of clubs. </li>
<li>I would say of a pledge class of about 35 - 40, you might have 1 or 2 who drop out a year. More seems unusual. Having said that, it’s met with a “sorry, it didn’t work out for you” versus the oft-imagined “we’ll snub her if we see her in class” type of thing.</li>
<li>Some houses may be more preppy than others, and sometimes you might see that certain sports tend to cluster together (all the football players were Phi Delts, that kind of thing). Those who are more hard-core partiers tend to cluster together. However, that can and did change from year to year. From the sorority standpoint, some tended to be a bit more midwestern and some more coastal / Long Island, but not “deliberately.” I didn’t see any particular clustering of majors one way or the other.</li>
<li>The collective activity thing is one of the biggest misconceptions. It’s not like you are “forbidden” to have friends and activities outside your own house, and you can go out, hang out, live with those others as much or as little as you like. Sure, if you’re living in the house, and you decide to go see a movie, you’ll ask around the house before flagging down random students passing by, but that’s no different from being in a dorm and looking down the hall to see who’s interested in going to see the movie with you. You certainly are not “told” to do things together.</li>
</ol>

Pizzagirl · July 29, 2011, 1:31pm

I can’t agree with this. Quite a few of my sorority sisters went on to be doctors (one of them a nationally-renowed specialist in her particular subspecialty of pediatric immunology). And there were plenty of engineering majors.

Pizzagirl · July 29, 2011, 1:34pm

I think the big thing is whether the relationship between Greeks and non-Greeks is one of hatred / resentment, or whether it’s “hey, whatever floats your boat, different strokes for different folks” and it’s no different from any other club you choose or choose not to join. Also, to what extent is there a vibrant social life for non-Greeks, versus Greeks being the only ones who throw parties, etc. I suspect that that answer may be different in campuses that are in smaller / more rural towns where there are not as many venues for young people, compared to campuses that are in locations where there are plenty of things for young people to do, but that’s just a guess on my part.

MiamiDAP · July 29, 2011, 2:02pm

" can’t agree with this. Quite a few of my sorority sisters went on to be doctors (one of them a nationally-renowed specialist in her particular subspecialty of pediatric immunology). And there were plenty of engineering majors. "
-Only 2 pre-meds were at D’s S., my D. and her friend, no engineers. Must be different from UG to UG.

Pizzagirl · July 29, 2011, 2:05pm

Yes, I have no doubt Miami of Ohio has a different type of Greek system compared to Northwestern. Which is why questions about Greek systems can only be answered with respect to a specific campus.

MiamiDAP · July 29, 2011, 2:23pm

^Must be. D. just turned down NwU, did not feel that she belonged there after visiting second time. Was her first choice at the beginning. You must be correct.

SoccerGirlNYC · July 29, 2011, 2:32pm

<ol>
<li>Agree that reputations are different across different schools… and within the same chapter across several years. This is why ‘keep an open mind’ is said so often to rushees. If you spend time reading recruitment stories on the above mentioned GC website, you will see that most girls (there are very few fraternity rush stories, lol!) were ‘meh’ about ABC in rounds 1 + 2 but by pref, they were seriously considering it, and after bid day/new members period, were having an absolute ball and couldn’t see themselves anywhere else…</li>
<li>With housing, some places will have a mandatory live in requirement - others will have too many girls wanting to live in the house and will have a points system for deciding who that should be. With some purpose built housing, halls, suites etc, this housing can be very nice, with single rooms, en suites etc. But at other places where there are these old mansions, you can have situations with 3/4/6/8 girls in a room, with bunk beds and not a lot of space. Some chapters, esp I think in PNW and Midwest, even have sleeping porches… 20+ beds for sleeping only, but each girl will also share a room for studying/hanging out/keeping her stuff in. Defintely worth asking questions during ‘House Tours’ round!</li>
<li>Agreed that it can be as time consuming as you want it to be - BUT remember, in a bigger chapter there are more girls to help with the myriad things that have to be done. In a small chapter, girls might have to have multiple leadership roles, or the whole house might have to attend more mixers/other greek’s or school philanthropy drives etc, whereas with a larger membership, these responsibilities can be shared out </li>
<li>Agreed re dropping. Not many… usual reasons: ‘just not for me’ (fair enough!), 'can’t afford it (again, fair enough, although annoying when this would happen in the first couple of weeks… rushees need to make sure they know how they are going to pay for their membership - to a greek organization or any other - before joining - information is available during rush), ‘found other things more interesting to do/boyfriend/etc’ - we never ostracized anyone, they were our friends…</li>
<li>Depends on the campus and also the size of the chapters. Smaller chapters will tend to have a distinct personality… larger chapters will not as there will be so many people in them. It’s why at a place like Bama, even if you aren’t sure about your bid, you should take it and try out membership because with a pledge class of 80+ surely there will a group of girls you like? I would understand if the total size of the chapter was 40… </li>
<li>we did things as a sorority, with other sororities, with fraternities, with sports teams. Most of my sisters and I belonged to other orgs on campus, so we did things with them too. We also had all our dorm friends as well, plus friends from majors… </li>
</ol>

I wrote this last year I think… questions I would ask myself:-

1) Know your campus!
Every campus is different and each Greek system is a function of that culture to a greater or lesser extent. Some greek systems are very chilled and laid back, have minimal influence on campus and are very integrated into other facets of campus life. At the other extreme, some greek systems dominate the social scene, student government, home coming and other student activities. Some systems attract a more homogenous type of student, others are more varied. Percentages of greek affiliated students can give some idea of the prevalence and influence of a greek system, but can be misleading. Large state schools may have only 10-30% greek which theoretically means that there are 70-90% students non affiliated, however in reality, the Greeks can dominate other student activities and the social scene to the extent that students believe that you must be greek to be involved in these activities. Research your campus culture and that of the greek system you are thinking of joining. There are lots of comments on here about greek life in the south which are an example of distinct regional and campus cultures having a direct influence on the colleges’ greek systems.

2) Know yourself!
Some questions to ask yourself:
Do mainly I like being part of a group or do I prefer to spend more time alone/with one or two others? You will spend quite a lot of time on official sorority business in group(s) of other girls, and one of the benefits of joining a sorority is that there is always someone around to talk to, get coffee with, watch TV with, walk to class with… some people love this idea, others baulk at it. I know there were days when I loved the security that walking to class with my sisters gave me… and other days when I deliberately left early to walk by myself to enjoy the alone time. This was very very true when I lived in the house.

Do I enjoy having a very full schedule with lots of commitments or do I prefer having lots of my own time? Sorority membership does take up a lot of time and whilst only some events are mandatory, you will get more from your membership the more you participate, and therefore, the more time you give to the group. I remember a younger sister saying that she didn’t feel connected to the sorority or her pledge class that much and I asked her how much time she spent with her sisters… she admitted it was not as much as some others, which meant that when she was there, there were often jokes she had missed out on, bonds that were growing without her. No one was outwardly mean to her about this, it’s just that relationships develop whether you are there or not… I suggested she help me with my committee role to get more involved, which she did, and she ended up having a great (if busy!) time as she got to know more people.

What other commitments am I planning to have in college outside of the sorority? Sports clubs, music groups, worship, community work? How involved is your major? This will determine the amount of time you can spend with the sorority and consequently may affect the depth of the relationships you develop with the other girls. It will also depend on the sorority you have joined. Some make involvement in other campus groups mandatory for all members, which mean all the sisters will have friends and connections outside the sorority, whereas others will look more favourably on girls who will spend more time on the sorority.

Do I enjoy being associated with a group? As well as being an XYZ at college, I was also one of the ‘soccer girls’, both of which came with distinct stereotypes/reputations which were perhaps not 100% incorrect, but were certainly gross over exaggerations. How will you cope with having a ‘tag’ on you? This applies not only to your actual sorority, but also to being greek. I have blonde hair and was a sorority girl. I had a rather expensive purse. You can imagine some of the comments I got from people! I also played soccer, studied political science and economics, loved alternative music, lived in my converse, had a part time job and sometimes wore a nose stud. YMMV!

How do I cope with having lots of girls around? I ask this because with girls there is often ‘drama’ in a way that guys rarely have. Are you able to deal with periods of this whether it involves you directly or is just ‘going on’? Obviously, the extent of this will be part of the types of girls in the sorority you join, but there will be arguments, fallings out, tears, cold shouldering etc regardless of the group. And it’s not just sororities – I saw a much worse case, bordering on bullying, in my soccer team at college.
Of course, how you manage this will make a big difference. Some people preferred to stay way out of any drama and just let it resolve itself. Others liked to get involved in a non partial way to act as arbitrators. I can’t say it was always pleasant but I learnt a lot of life lessons on how to deal with people and difficult situations. I also learnt a lot about women and ultimately myself. Not to say you have to join a sorority to do this, of course.
The other thing with groups and girls is of course peer pressure. No one in a group likes a dissenter unfortunately. Some are more laid back and will let individuals do what they like to a greater extent, whereas some groups can be much more cookie cutter. By group I mean not just the sorority as a whole, but groups and cliques within them. There was one pledge class when I was an officer that seemed very close, but with this closeness came a dislike of anyone doing something different to the group as a whole, which was something us older girls had to talk to people about before it got out of hand. …
3) Sororities are the girls in them
Whether you will enjoy your time in your sorority is ultimately down to whether you get on with and like your sisters. It is not to do with mixers, homecoming partnerships, the house, colours or reputation.
During recruitment (and before if you have deferred recruitment or if you attend summer school or spring/summer recruitment events) talk to the girls, watch them and think about whether you will fit in with them. What are they like? Will you want to spend time with them? During pref round in recruitment, look at the other rushees in the room, as they are most likely going to be your pledge sisters
Are there any similarities? I may get flamed for this, but ultimately, we are drawn to people who share some similarities to ourselves. This is true for both the PNM deciding which sororities she is interested, as well as active sisters deciding which girls they may want to join their sorority. This goes back to my points about ‘Know Yourself’ and be as honest as you can about yourself… this applies to which groups you may like as well as whether you want to join in the first place… I know several girls who went through recruitment only to decide that the whole sorority thing was not for them at all and that we were all crazy! Fair enough!
I think there is one (perhaps brutal) comment on the greekchat site that says something along the lines of:
“If the group you have set your heart on are tall blonde members of the cheerleading and dance groups, studying communications and English, and most are from ABC wealthy suburb, but your major is physics and French, you dislike sports and you have to work a part time job to help pay for your dues, then the chances are slim that you and those girls will have enough in common for you to be a sister”
Brutal and over simplified, but honest.

ChicagoBear · July 29, 2011, 3:58pm

As to the question are chapters at various universities similar, in my DS’s case - no.

DS is a Phi Delt at Miami Ohio. At his school most of the Phi Delts are good looking, fairly preppy business majors with one of the better overall GPA’s.

When my sister-in-law heard which fraternity he joined, she was appalled. She went to Northwestern about 20 years ago - when she went there, the Phi Delt’s were the “meatheads”. However, my brother-in-law’s wife, who also went to Northwestern - but 30 years ago, said that the Phi Delts were the hottest and most popular fraternity on campus.

So, the answer can change by school and by year!

SoccerGirlNYC · July 30, 2011, 5:23am

And my other piece of advice for girls rushing sororities… you can take a lot of the emotion out of your experience by ensuring you understand the mechanisms by which invites and preferences are done.

Most campuses use RFM (Return Figure Method) which considers the return rates from the past, say, 5 years, and uses this to determine the cuts each chapter has to make at each round. For Uber Popular Chapter, which ALL rushees list as number one year after year, their cuts will be much higher than a chapter with lower past return rates. This is done to ensure, as far as possible, that girls return to as many chapters as possible, and that each house sees as many girls as possible.

Whilst houses have to limit the number of girls they invite back, rushees do NOT cut chapters. They rank them. It is very possible that one/some/all of your three bottom chapters will invite you back - this causes many girls to think ‘why do they keep showing up, I cut them’. Actually, you didn’t and you need to go back to their party with a smile on your face and an open mind! What it means is, that the houses you ranked higher met their return number with other girls before they got to you.

It really helped me to understand the way that the process worked, and that it was often a numbers game, especially in the early rounds. It helped to limit my emotional response to my invites and accept that this is what I had and I had better get on with it. If you want a bid, you need to trust the process and go with what you have - if you drop out, you aren’t going to get a bid!

Also, RFM means that at some point during the week, usually after rounds one or two, there will be MASSIVE cuts… so you could get 10/10 houses back for round 2, then all of a sudden, only have 4 out of the possible 7. This is just part of how the numbers work, and happens to a lot of PNMs. Don’t freak out!

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