Questions and Decisions: Should I Transfer?

Transfer Students
1

Hi.

I used to use CC a lot when deciding on where to go to college, though I never made an account until now. I’m a freshman at Colgate University, and I thought before I came that I would love it here. It had my major in a way no other school did–English with an emphasis in creative writing, no minor or double major required, it was all in one. The alumni network I heard was great, the campus seemed beautiful, and the surrounding country and small town atmosphere made a girl like me, who loves rural land more than urban settings, feel at home.

Now I’ve been here a month, and frankly, I’m not sure if I made the right choice. There’s one other school in my heart that I looked at, was hooked on for most of high school, and that I wonder if I should have gone to instead–Boston College. Colgate’s really nice–but I’m not getting a great vibe from the people, I’ve tried to make friends but haven’t done a great job of it (going to clubs and different events, talking with floormates, etc.). I like some of the professors at ‘Gate quite a bit, but I also can’t stand how isolated it is. There’s nothing to do! I’m a bit bored here, and I have almost no motivation to leave my dorm. It’s mostly work, and my “play” is procrastinating online or talking to old friends. I thought I wanted Gate because, as someone who loved BC at first sight yet felt a little disillusioned when I did a summer program there, I didn’t fall in love immediately. It grew on me, so I thought Gate was it. Now I’m not sure. I also know it’s really hard to get financial aid here, which irks me because I do need it and got nothing, and it’s not like there are a plethora of job opportunities outside of campus. I feel like BC would offer me a greater variety of people, more things to do, and really give me the college experience like I imagined it. But then there’s the issue of my major…I like the way Gate offers it, giving me a chance to earn what seems like two degrees in one. But I can’t shake the feeling, every time I see friends at BC, that I’m…a little jealous. I don’t know what this is. Is it a “the grass is always greener” feeling, or a “the one that got away” feeling? I wouldn’t transfer until next year, so I haven’t done or said anything yet, and I am keeping an open mind for the year. I would just really appreciate getting others’ feedback.

(Also, random detail I thought to add, I’m not a huge sports person, but seeing everyone get so excited at BC games makes me really happy! I’m filled with school spirit for them. People at Gate don’t really get much into sports, and our games and such are kind of lacking in attendance…no one really cares, it feels like, which is sad. I like the school spirit and community aspect)

2

I’d stick it out for a year and if by spring you still feel like transferring then transfer.

3

Firstly, I enjoyed reading your post. Lots of information and I hope you get some clarity of planning and purpose regarding your extracurricular life at Colgate soon!

Now I would like you to reconsider whatever your Commons leadership has discussed with you about joining up.
If you can write as you do, dance, sing, debate or play sports there are great clubs and groups to join! What about meeting with the Career Center to organize your post-grad thoughts and/or attending something sponsored by Women’s Studies? Or selecting a varsity sports team of your own choice (and no one else’s) to support? I have been on campus recently and found m/w soccer and v-ball matches very well attended by students.

Best of luck with your adjustment to college life!

Go ‘gate!

4

Get off social media, and get out among your classmates. Stop trying to gauge through social media how thrilled your high school friends are at other schools. The view is skewed. Nearly every college freshman has an adjustment period (even your friends at BC, regardless of what you might assume from a snapchat story of Instagram post). It seems that not very many are prepared for this very normal adjustment feeling (comprised of longing, homesickness, loneliness), and it certainly does not make it to their social media accounts. By all means, do a transfer application when the time approaches, but make sure you make an effort to engage and enjoy your classes, professors, peers at Colgate. A month is not nearly a long enough time to adjust. When meeting new friends, try not to give the impression that you are planning on transferring. That would be a rather off-putting to would-be friends who are giving their new school a chance.

5

@333mom I’ve literally just stopped looking at their social medias because it’s made me jealous, and I figured there’s no point in feeling negative when there’s nothing right now that I can do about it. I’m not homesick, I promise, because I’m only 3 hours away from home and talk to my parent every day more than once. The reason I want to go home is because I don’t feel like I fit in there. I’ve spent months away from home before with no one else I’ve known, and it’s never been an issue because I find my niche relatively quickly.

As far as actually transferring goes, I do appreciate your advice. I am planning on submitting an application 100%, regardless of what ultimately happens, because I want that outlet, that choice, and the thought of having that eases my current frustrations. I haven’t mentioned to anyone that I’m transferring (my friends at other schools, who I confide in, know my feelings, and my parent knows my feelings and, while telling me much of what you have, supports whatever decision I choose to make…he even said that he was very surprised when I made a sudden change from BC to Colgate as my top choice, and felt I hadn’t given it a lot of time, as shortly after the change I applied ED 2). But anyway, no one here knows about my decision to consider transferring (I haven’t even talked to my academic advisor about it yet, though I intend to closer to November–just so she knows my thoughts).

I’m doing everything I can to give Colgate a chance–after all, I applied here, I wanted to go here, so it’s the least I can do. I’ve joined multiple clubs that I loved/had interest in prior to coming to college (written publications, political groups, club sports), and while some give me more joy than others, I still don’t feel really happy (though again, I’m giving it more time before considering my situation in full). Classes are relatively enjoyable–I love my English class (which I figured is pretty important, being my major and all) and even one Core class I never thought I would enjoy. There are other professors I’ve met that I want to talk to about personal things (English professors who I feel could offer advice to an aspiring writer wanting to hone her skills), and I’m doing my best to be friendly and outgoing to others (I’m a little shy, I won’t lie, but I do try to talk with others, it’s just that my attempts are not very well received…it’s as if people don’t want to talk with me, regardless of the time of day, day of the week, or anything. People just don’t seem very friendly).

So…yeah. I’ve been pushing myself to get out of my dorm and meet people, and engage in campus, and to an extent it’s enjoyable, but not fully, which is upsetting. I’m not giving up until the end of the year, I promised myself that, but I will fill out the app when the time comes and we’ll see what happens.