There is no “magic” in NOT living together. I get religious/personal reasons etc.
And disentangling yourself from a relationship after the “wrong one” has moved can be a horrible experience. Go read the “bad roommate” threads and multiply that scenario.
On the flip side, after listening to some friends who obviously thought there was supposed to be “fireworks” on the honeymoon and “saving themselves for marriage” for some higher purpose?
We thought they really needed a good dose of reality before getting married.
We were right–that marriage lasted less than a year.
It felt comfortable from day one. No drama, no games. He made me feel loved and secure. I liked and respected him as well as finding him attractive. We have the same life goals and values. We have similar educational and cultural backgrounds. The last is not necessary but it makes things easier sometimes.
No. I knew before we met that I wanted to be married and have a family and never had any ambivalence about it.
No. Taking responsibility motivated me to make more of myself than I otherwise would have.
Treat your spouse with good manners and respect. Do not get lazy and treat each other like pieces of furniture that you take for granted. Cultivate gratitude for your spouse and try to be worthy of his/her love. When couples start to take each other for granted or hold each other in contempt, the marriage starts to die.
You keep from getting bored by developing yourself and your own life, and not expecting your spouse to make your own life entertaining. People who require constant novelty in order not to be bored are probably not temperamentally suited to marriage anyway.
TL;DR: (in order of importance) Liking, respect, shared life goals and values, ability to spend long periods of time comfortably together without getting bored or annoyed, sexual attraction.