Hey all - my younger son (S25) and I are starting our spring break college driving tour on Friday. At the first college we’ll be visiting, after our official tour, we are meeting up with a friend of my older son (S22). I know the friend reasonably well, in that I’ve carpool driven him around in the past, and I’m comfortable with him and he with me. My S25 has met him, but barely. He’s offered to talk with us or meet up or whatever. Since we’ll have just toured the school, i don’t know that we really need to walk around more, so I was thinking of suggesting my treat to coffee or dinner. I’m happy to do whatever he wants, but I don’t want to put any onus of planning on him when he’s already doing us a favor.
Anyway, any thoughts for either things we should do or things we should ask him? I don’t want to have weird awkward silence where we meet up and then have nothing to say to each other. He’s a really outgoing and gregarious kid, so I’m sure he’ll follow whatever lead we toss out, and he won’t be shy. I just want to minimize strangeness if I can.
Does the current student have similar academic, extracurricular, and/or social interests as your prospective student? If so, then that seems to be an obvious starting point as far as things to ask.
Also, in some cases, you and the prospective student may have additional questions on stuff mentioned on the college web site or at a tour that a current student could provide more details on.
Ask how he met his friend group, what the vibe was on his freshman floor, if he took any classes that surprised him in terms of how much he liked them, what a typical weekend looks like (and on what day it starts), how students choose classes, what are big events on campus, etc…
Honestly, a lot of this will flow pretty easily (even though I understand your concern. )
Thank you @ucbalumnus and @gardenstategal ! I think we’ll focus on questions stemming from the tour, and things like how to choose classes, big events on campus etc. One of the challenges here is that in most normal situations, I would’ve said the current student is a lot like my prospective student in terms of social life and non-academic interests. BUT. Current student is in the corps of cadets (this is at Va Tech) and my boy will not be. My understanding is that the students in the Corps do things very differently - they all live together and have some pretty significant rigor to their housing and lifestyle options and it takes a lot of time. Plus the current student is in the engineering school, and my boy will not be, so a lot of academic stuff is not relevant if it gets too specific. Honestly, if we didn’t already know this kid, and know that he’s just a really lovely young man who is willing to take some time with us, this would not be a good fit for someone to talk to about the school.
Environment:
How many students are at the school? Are they primarily from the local area, in-state, or national? What are the students like? Do they seem politically involved or not? Conservative, liberal, or radical? Is the mood competitive or more relaxed? Are students studying late each nite, or perhaps the weekend starts Thursday afternoon, or somewhere in-between? Is social life organized around the greek system or more independently? Are intramural sports popular, and what exercise facilities are available? What do they have at the student center? Are there clubs for activities DS might be interested in? What is the weather like (if you’re not used to cold weather, it can be a big shock!)
Location/housing:
Housing can run the gamut. At some colleges you can’t even be sure of getting in the dorms as a freshman, others require you to live there 1st year, still others guarantee on-campus housing every year if you want it. Housing may be traditional tower-structure dorms, smaller dorms, on-campus apartments, suites, etc. Dorms may have floors with “themes” – foreign language, honors, or other special-type interest. At some schools housing is just a place to live; others such as ND organize students around a “house” that you will be affiliated with all your years as a student. So plenty to ask about here.
Academics:
If you’re not sure what you want to major in, when do you have to decide? Are classes taught by professors or TAs? Do the TAs speak English fluently (trust me, you want to ask this question!) What is the typical class size for freshmen? For upperclass students? Is the program (for some majors DS is considering) highly structured, or do you get a lot of choice in electives? How easy it is to meet with professors – are they easily available, or is teaching undergraduates a burden to them? Is counseling provided by whoever is at the window when you walk up, or are you assigned a counselor? Will you get a faculty advisor? Are there opportunities to do research with professors? For summer research positions? Are some classes seminars, or are they lecture-only? Is the semester overseas program popular? Are they on a semester or quarter system?
… and if a major is vaguely listed on the web site as being restricted access, capacity limited, or otherwise not freely declarable, how difficult or competitive is it to enter that major? Answers like “I got in with a 2.5 GPA” and “I could not get in with a 3.7 GPA” could be useful information for an undeclared student interest in the major. So could “the prerequisite class is full of grade-grubbing cutthroat-competitive students because they need A grades to get into the major”.
Questions like these are best asked for students in the same major, or in various majors an undecided student is considering. At some colleges, this information can be found in the online class schedules.