<p>I’m the principal trumpet player in a regional youth symphony orchestra, and lately I’ve been completely overwhelmed by school work, and basically, I dread going to rehearsals each week simply because I don’t have much time to practice the solos I have to play, and I get horrible stage fright, especially because the other people in the group are really intimidating (to me, at least). </p>
<p>So today at rehearsal, I told my conductor that I would leave the group after our concert in January, so he has to audition a new trumpet player. He gave me the option of playing easier parts, but I basically want to wash my hands of the entire group, just because it’s never been a very fun experience for me, so I declined his offer.</p>
<p>Was this really irresponsible on my part? I feel like I’m letting everyone down, but in reality, no one in the group even knows who I am, so I doubt they’ll really notice that I’m not there. But still, I couldn’t help but feel guilty, because the conductor made it very obvious that he was ****ed at me when I told him.</p>
<p>Had you abruptly left the group, it would have been irresponsible. You told him in advance; that was responsible of you. You have no obligation to stay in the group if it isn’t making you happy. Don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>I think that you do have an obligation to the group. You made a commitment, and I think you should stick with it. If rehearsals are only weekly, I’m sure you can keep up with it. I am a very high level musician, and sometimes the time it takes is overwhelming. I know that orchestras can suck (I’m the only high school kid in a summer orchestra with a bunch of recent grads of Julliard and Oberlin about to go onto graduate work–even PHDs!), but I think you should stay in. There is more to music than fun. If you are playing just for fun, you shouldn’t be playing at all. If you do insist on leaving, though, this was the most responsible way to let him know. I’d say that you should keep at it for a little while and look at it with a new, positive attitude, and see how you feel in a month or two.</p>
<p>If you aren’t enjoying the time you spend doing it, then IMO it would be irresponsible (and unfair to someone who wants your spot) to continue playing. I went through a similar situation with my high school basketball team. Unless your seriously considering pursuing it in the future, than what point is there in staying with it if it isn’t fun? Isn’t that the point?..doing it because you enjoy doing it?</p>
<p>It sounds like the way you handled it was fine, so would I consider you irresponsible? No. Heck, I give you credit…I know firsthand how hard it can be to make that kind of decision.</p>
<p>jmarsh, I think you made a tough decision that you didn’t make lightly. It probably is the right one for you. Here’s why:
You gave plenty of notice
If you haven’t been able to overcome your stagefright, you probably are not meant to be a soloist performer. Many musicians thrive on performance and fight over the solos. (My son is one of those…he really never had a second of stage fright).
The orchestra will call back students who did not win your audition, and some one will be thrilled to be called and offered the position. (My son received such a call once, but had since taken on other obligations).</p>
<p>Probably, the second chair player will be offered your principle chair, and two months (or even one month) will be plenty of time for a new sectional player to master the music. </p>
<p>I don’t think you were irresponsible just because you decided performance wasn’t right for you. Let somebody else play and have fun doing it!</p>
<p>Do you think everyone who plays an instrument wants to be a professional? They do it because they enjoy it. If people who play for fun stopped playing, there would be no high school bands and orchestras, and no regional bands and orchestras.</p>
<p>People do things because they are fun. Why do you go to a football game? Because you enjoy your time there.</p>
<p>/I play alto/tenor/bari sax, baritone, and some clarinet. I have no intention of becoming a professional musician, and never did.</p>
<p>I agree, I played, and as much as I sweat, (following the adage that a band is only as strong as it’s weakest player and determined that it would not be me) I was never that great on my insturment. Mouth insturments were not right, and they didn’t have orchestra until my senior year. But I loved it anyway, fought my way up to 2nd chair, and just loved the whole bandiness of it. </p>
<p>I’m dropping out of Wind Ensemble this year as well, because of the major time commitments coming up, and I know I will not have time to practice. (I’ll still keep up with piano and organ, but yeah…) It would be unfair of me to become that weakest link to the band, so I am quitting because of that. I have had 4 glorious years and I don’t mind a bit.</p>
<p>I don’t expect all musicians to become professionals. However, I do expect a high school senior who is apparently good enough on his/her instrument to be first chair to be able to deal with crappy times in order to have better ones. There is a relationship between a musician and his/her music–there are times of joy, frustration, indifference, passion, and dissatisfaction. One of the most important things about being a musician is being able to suck it up when the going gets rough and having faith that it will improve. </p>
<p>I watch a lot of football, and there are two teams I root for, one college and one professional. My professional team won three super bowls in four years, and most games were fabulous to watch. My other team ended last season 7-6, and some of those games sucked. I didn’t like the coach or his decisions, and I didn’t enjoy watching us lose. But I still watched the games because I loved my team and knew that next season would be better. We’re #6 now.</p>
<p>JMarsh is obviously the best performer in the orchestra on his/her instrument. Since s/he joined the orchestra at the beginning of the year (or whenever), I think that s/he has a responsibility to fulfill his/her role. By letting the part go to someone less adept, h/she is letting the level of the entire orchestra fall just a little. Attitude is, of course, important, but I think that given a month or two s/he will see things brighter. At least that has been my experience.</p>
<p>Considering your situation and you handled it, you did the right thing. There isn’t any need to torture yourself over something you’re supposed to enjoy. I felt horrible quitting swim team last year, but I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I wasn’t exactly contributing anything anyway. There are some things you just have to do for yourself.</p>
<p>I’m in my city’s youth symphony and I understand what you mean about the pressure and intimidating atmostphere–music kids can be nasty, not to mention the superiority complexes some of those kids have.</p>
<p>I doubt that the second chair musician is much less adept than the principle. Although I can agree that it is reneging on an obligation, I think that would be better than being unhappy and letting a poor attitude permeate the horn section and maybe even the orchestra. Additionally, a soloist with stage fright might let the group down in a big way during a performance. Frankly, no one is all that indispensable, so jmarsh should move on with ample notice and consider it a lesson learned.</p>
<p>wow. Thank you everyone for all of your advice. I’m really glad thgat most of you feel the same way I do about my leaving… I just can’t do it anymore. I still feel a little bad about it, but I think it’s for the best…</p>