<p>I guess I’m glad my kids were more into drama, music and tech stuff! <a href=“http://stevenashyb.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2014/10/20/the-race-to-nowhere-in-youth-sports/”>http://stevenashyb.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2014/10/20/the-race-to-nowhere-in-youth-sports/</a>
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<p>I think running is the best sport ever. I have three kids who ranged from very fast (national level) to very slow (dead last in local races). But everybody gets to run! No politics. The fastest seven in XC are varsity. My oldest made varsity 12 seasons during HS. My next one never made it at all. But they were all part of teams that were close-knit and supportive. The parents cheer for ALL the kids, no matter what team they’re on. @Consolation’s son and my son were on the same team! :)</p>
<p>It can get pretty dramatic in drama and music, too. </p>
<p>Agree, ML! Same with swimming. The fastest kids were varsity, the rest all get to race JV while varsity cheered for them (and vice versa). :)</p>
<p>Agree with BB–drama can get as competitive as sports. At the high school my younger D attended there was always tough competition for parts in the three productions that the drama club put in each year. </p>
<p>Not very many parents realize that merit scholarships and need-based aid amount to almost $50 billion dollars a year compared to only $1 billion dollars a year for athletic scholarships. With only 178,000 athletic scholarships divvied up among dozens of sports those 50 to 1 odds begin to look even worse.</p>
<p>I am happy that our kids chose their own paths through the athletic mazes. One played on two HS girls teams - track/ cross-country and volleyball, and never played on travel teams. </p>
<p>My son played two Varsity sports - soccer and baseball, and did not play one of them in 11th grade. His coach emailed me and asked me if there was a problem so I asked my son about it. He followed two HS senior’s advice and chose to focus on academics rather than sports. He returned to the team in the 12th grade and earned a starting position, but his coach never forgave him for skipping a year. But his hard work earned him a sizable academic grant that totaled over $150,000. </p>
<p>Parents need to find travel teams with coaches that won’t lead you down the wrong path. I laugh about one soccer “travel” team my son was on for a few summers in middle school. They NEVER practiced, they NEVER played in any leagues, and the team was formed from three towns just to play in tournaments. They won a few tournaments, but were destroyed by a junior club pro team in the state World Cup. That team had a dozen pro players for coaches and no doubt only played soccer for 52 weeks a year. I can imagine what their parents thought of us.</p>
<p>I don’t believe that the majority of parents are taking the wrong path when it comes to sports. Most figure out how the system works and make responsible choices. Most admit their mistakes and calm down by high school and let their kids decide what they want to do. It’s a lot different from my days when the only youth sport was baseball and I didn’t start playing it until I was 11. </p>
<p>On my flight yesterday, I watched the HBO documentary “Trophy Kids” (2013). It follows 4 parents as they push/coach/bully their kids in competitive sports. It’s fascinating to watch, as these overbearing fathers have no idea how they come across in the footage as the biggest jerks as they live vicariously through their kids. The basketball player’s dad is the kind of parent many school athletic programs ban from the sidelines.</p>
<p>I love sports and played several during HS. I would steer most kids towards cross country, golf, bowling in high school. Low risk of injury and you can do them your entire life. Each of them allow you to compete against yorself as well as against others. Next would be tennis and fitness events like weight lifting</p>
<p>Love this thread! I have a 3 sport junior that is not pursuing D3 in college so he can keep playing all 3 in HS and choose his school based upon academics and fit instead. We have struggled mightily with coaches over the years but I have lots of great pictures of a happy boy just playing the sports he loves. </p>
<p>It’s all about how you approach it. We have a current college athlete and a graduated musical theater kid. Both areas can be brutal even with the most balanced of families. We never pushed either kid - both chose to continue because they love what they do. If anything, at some point in their respective paths ,we expressed concern that they were overdoing and were becoming too stressed. At no point for either did we ever anticipate a scholarship for that activity; if that is the sole reason for the activity you are better off taking all of the money being invested in that activity and saving it for college. If our college athlete told us today that he wanted to quit his sport we would be OK with it-we made sure he chose his school for the academics, not the sport. </p>
<p>We have noticed that of all the kids that our son grew up with playing different sports, for the most part, the ones who have had most success are those who truly found joy in their sport and who also paid attention to their grades. We ran into many parents who were telling everyone around them that their kid was good enough to get a full athletic scholarship and that colleges were already looking at them while the kid was still in 8th grade. At the same time, their entire focus was on the sport with little attention paid to school. For the most part that attitude does not seem to work out. Of all the kids who have played sports with him over the years, only a very few have gone on to a college level. So many who sacrificed family time, grades, and money all of those years either fizzled out in high school or just never made the grade. It is so important to balance sports - or any activity-with other interests. </p>