<p>My son planned to go to an out of state school next fall and major in Art. Now, he wants to take a year off to work on a film he’s creating with several friends. Frankly, he might not be ready after a year…it might take several before he’s truly motivated to go to college. He questions the value of art school and feels like he just needs time and tools to work on his craft.</p>
<p>If he sends a letter to the college, explaining his change of heart, what will the ramifications be? Will he be blackballed from that school? He might want to go there in the future and he’d hate to burn bridges. He received a small merit scholarship from the art school of the university. So far, we’ve only paid a $300 nonrefundable deposit.</p>
<p>I’d support his interest by exploring the options–but also be open to the idea that he could change his mind again within weeks. This “final phase” of high school days is fraught with ambivalence, anxiety, grandiosity, etc…and not the ideal time to make major direction-changing decisions if possible. He may have until late in the summer to make a deferral decision. And if he is giving up the option in order to follow his heart in this other direction, see if you can get him (and the other artistic young involved) to sit down and do a “Project plan” that takes into account how they will manage costs, time, decision making etc. I am actually a big proponent of a year off/gap year in general, but believe it needs to also be approached as a valuable learning opportunity for which the student needs to demonstrate a qualifying “adult” level of responsiblity. It would be too bad to forgo the admission scholarship now and then find out in August that the rest of the crew has changed their mind about the project or something like that. And it would be too bad to “make” him go off to school when his heart isn’t in it. So supporting him and in return asking him go convince you why the alternative is best seems fair…</p>
<p>My S took a gap year working as an Americorps volunteer after high school. He lived at home, and paid rent. The experience matured him a great deal, including strengthening his organizational skill and understanding of why he wanted to go to college. It also taught him a great deal about what kind of careers and majors he would like to pursue.</p>
<p>If your S takes a gap year, I strongly suggest that you treat him as a responsible adult. This means that he would need to have a job and pay rent. Fine, if he wants to make a film, but he should approach this as adults do. They hold jobs and make films on the side or as part of their jobs. They also have to pay rent and be responsible in other ways.</p>
<p>If you simply give him a year to stay at home while making films, he’ll think that’s what it’s like to live as an adult, and you may have him living that way in your home for years to come.</p>
<p>From how you describe your son, he doesn’t appear ready for college now. If he does go to college in the fall, do place some restrictions on his getting funding from you. For instance, you could require a certain gpa. It also may be very wise for you to expect him to take out some loans, earn money in school and/or over the summer to help pay for his expenses. If he is helping send himself to college, he may value the experience more, and may be less likely to flunk out.</p>
<p>If he refuses to help pay for his college experience, then why should you use your hard earned money to do that?</p>
<p>Based on our experience with our younger D, I agree that a gap year can be the best thing for the student. Having said that, you as a parent need to decide whether your student has the maturity to make it worthwhile. Like the two posters above, I recommend that a plan be made and agreed upon by the parents and student. I wrote out a draft plan and discussed it with our D. It seemed a little formal, but it sent her the message that we were serious and were taking her seriously. Like your son, she is an artist and one goal for her year was to research art schools and decide whether to apply to one or more. In the end, she decided that art school was not for her (nor for one of her friends, who did a semester at art school and then transferred to CC). She will be going to our flagship state U, from which her sister just gradulated. She is very enthused about this school, which was certainly not the case a few weeks before her HS gradulation. We felt that D was self-motivated and happily this has been borne out. She studied, worked, volunteered, and relaxed. We all feel that taking the year “off” was absolutely the best thing for her. Having said that, it’s obviously not the best thing for all kids. Good luck to your son.</p>