More like personal insults of male virgins in my presence, criticism of male friends, etc.
Survey sponsored by Match through the Kinsey Institute (population sample, not Match members). [1]
42% of singles would not date a virgin (33% of men and 51% of women)
Can you be more specific- these are 35 year old singles or 18 year old college students? And did they break out by ethnic/religious groups or not?
The study is linked in ohibro’s post. It’s from 2012. Outdated (much has changed regarding dating/relationships since Covid, among other things), and obviously not a scientific peer reviewed study.
Who has blamed Jane Doe ?
When people say don’t put yourself in the situation, it’s not blame. It’s common sense and goes for everyone, all the time.
You must be joking.
Thanks for the clarification. Didn’t seem too recent based on my recollection of recent articles about a sharp decline in sexual activity among HS and college students (for a variety of reasons) which apparently has led to an increase in “young 20 somethings” who did not date or have sex in their teens…
The only people who seem upset by this trend are the “incel crowd” and those who for political reasons are claiming that the decrease in very young women having babies is a bad thing.
Other public health and policy researchers seem delighted by the trend.
The original links are broken, so only the high points from the archived link are available:
The 2012 study is based on the attitudes and behaviors taken from a representative sample of 5,481 U.S. singles and 1,095 married people aged 21 to 65+, and remains the most comprehensive annual survey of single Americans.
Various unrelated studies suggest a higher percent of older women would be unwilling to date a virgin, but I doubt the math is such that the number for younger women is extremely low.
Also, more recently from 2025: [1]
However, we found some gaps in gender and age. Men (64%) were far more likely to show a high willingness to date a virgin than women (45%) — nearly a 20% difference. These results suggest that men may view virginity as a non-issue, while women may be more cautious.
My posting in this thread has highlighted an evolutionary psychology trend that doesn’t turn on a dime…or 14 years. From my experience to the 2012 survey to the 2025 survey, there is consistently a desire from a significant portion of women to avoid virgins, promoting male hyper sexuality.
Nope. It’s blame.
Thought experiment- ask your 20-something daughter to poll her female friends to ask if they’ve ever been “blamed” for a man behaving inappropriately. She could have been 8 years old and playing at a local park, she could have been 10 years old and been followed by some creepy guy at a Walmart, or at a concert in college where her drink was spiked without her knowledge.
At some point in the aftermath, someone or several someones are going to ask “what were you wearing” or “what were you doing there”. And apparently “I was on the jungle gym with my friends and was wearing shorts because that’s what you wear when you’re 8 and playing at the park” is considered to be provocative. And on the drink spiking- does going to a concert constitute consent to be drugged and assaulted? And yet- law enforcement (and everyone else) is going to ask “Why were you there?” And the answer “my friends and I went to hear the music” is going to be considered stonewalling.
Why? Women who are virgins don’t “promote” male hyper sexuality. They aren’t promoting anything except their own bodily autonomy. And women who avoid virgins aren’t “promoting” anything either. They are asserting their own right to date whom they choose for the reasons they choose. They can either be available to someone of their own choosing or not. A man forcing himself on an individual woman because he believes that he’s being given the right to exert his “hyper sexuality” due to other women’s preferences is a criminal.
It’s the MEN who have concluded (apparently) that a woman’s decision about her own body, or her own dating preferences, are an open invitation to what you call “male hyper sexuality”.
This is-- to be kind- a disgusting attitude.
But not wrong.
You also expressed disgust at the Greek life dynamic at Cornell in response to a post a couple days ago, saying “If this op-ed is accurate, the entire set up serves to make women passive participants (or victims).” Why wasn’t this dynamic the first thing to change in the 1960’s? My theory explains why.
It’s a serious question.
Some of you take things that, at least to some of us, and twist it.
We all hope this never happens again. But it will but if people protect themselves, it will happen less often.
I recommend that people block the commenters in this thread who seem intent on acting as unpaid, untrained, outside defense attorneys for the accused rapists and to not continue to give their arguments oxygen. And if you are one of them, maybe question what you are hoping to gain by this. The conversation about the increased risk of rape and Greek life is interesting enough without it becoming a place for platforming misogyny.
Wow - I am talking about keeping people safe. You are the one twisting.
Trials do zero, if someone is found guilty, to help prevent reoccurrence nor to heal a victim.
If you’re unable to have an adult conversation (two way) as the board is designed, perhaps you should exit the chat.
Attacking others is not how a group of people have a back and forth. There are different viewpoints here and that’s something I’m sure you want for your student in college to have as well. We may not all agree with one another but we can discuss and learn from one another.
Beyond the sexual assault and hazing issues there are other issues as well. Someone’s idea of funny:
I hope the administration is made aware. Disgusting.
That’s certainly offensive, but given it’s not directly threatening anyone, I wonder if a public university can do anything about that at all.
I mean, one could ask the same of Cornell. If a Greek organization is sanctioned by the school as part of its Greek organization, then they should have some level of control.
It’s amazing the stupidity continues to happen at places where our supposed best and brightest attend.
As this thread has become very argumentative, I have put it on slow mode until tomorrow at 11 am.
Step away from the thread if you feel it has become too contentious. Moderators are discussing it and will provide an update. Thank you for your cooperation in following forum guidelines.
Which is why I posted it in the context of the opening question of the thread: parents, are you ok with your kids in this culture?
Chi Psi does not appear to be a recognized organization at University of Michigan, according to https://fsl.umich.edu/node/1037 .
