<p>i don’t know if this is a good short essay; its very creative and has a good message to it (if you/the admissions team can understand it), but i think maybe it might be too risky. let me know what you guys think</p>
<p>Recently, my mind has been bogged down by rote learning–a deluge of homework, studying, and tests. Trying to relax on a Sunday, I consulted an old master. “True wisdom lies not in complex study but in the simplest of things. Come with me into the forest.” I followed; nature soothed my mind. The master asked, “Tell me, young one, why is the forest important?” I quickly answered, “The forest holds endless bounty; we must protect our environment.” “Wrong. Try again.” After much thought, I answered, “The rabbit eats grass, the fox eats rabbits, the grass eats dead foxes. Nature derives the great complexity from simple premises.” “Wrong. Your learning is a burden. Abandon all that is not real to attain enlightenment. Stand in this spot.” I obeyed, and looking down, I saw I had stepped in bear droppings. At that moment I was enlightened.</p>
<p>maybe its bad because its obviously fictional? let me know.</p>
<p>well i personally thought it was rather stupid and off topic, I am not the adcoms and dont know how they think, but im not going to sugar coat it and say i like it or w/e… i dont think hes wants me to lie and say i like it when college is on the line lol . IMO NYU doesnt give a crap about the personal statements tho, mine were written at a 5th grade level and had about 10 typos becuz of the text box fckin up and me not seeing it to fix it. The NYU APP allows only 5 lines, not much you can say.</p>
<p>ok thanks for the advice guys. the esay was actually a type of “zen slap,” a philosophical thing where one was trying really hard to figure something out, and he realizes the truth after a very blunt a simple thing happens. i think this idea would have been better for a longer essay and more creative type school like uchicago. i’ll try to think of something else. what did all you guys write about?</p>
<p>so your saying true wisdom is crap? not a good thing to tell a college, unless they have a really good really liberal philosophy department, but a philosophy department that liberal wouldnt exist by its very nature lol.</p>
<p>heres what i wrote exactly for mine ( i got into Tisch) :
Sunday was an average camp day- I had six full classes of guitar
students. Suprisingly, the 6-9 year olds were the most productive; I
taught them John Coltrane’s “Impressions” and the Shins’ “Turn A
Square”. In the evening, I took a 10 year old camper, Jackie, as my
date to the Luau. We did the limbo and danced- it made her day.</p>
<p>i wrote about helping my friend who had parents who just had a divorce move, and how i helped her throu the emotional stuff also, and that was the real reason i was there.</p>
<p>i wrote about how i spoke to over 500 donors about the need for domestic violennce intervention/prevention services for a non-prof org</p>
<p>honestly, i dont like it either. I also thought it was stupid and off topic. i got the impression that you were trying too hard to sound abstract.</p>
<p>Yea…don’t try to impress the Admissions department with your writing style in the short answer ones…I would just go simple, and honestly describe an interesting Sunday (or any day) that you’ve recently experienced</p>