Rate this essay about "aiming too low"

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1

<p>Do you believe that is better to risk failing in the attempt to do something too ambitious, or to succeed at something you were already sure you could do? </p>

<p>On a scale of 2-12, give me your honest opinion. Thanks!!</p>

<p>I believe that Michelangelo is right. It is true that the danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark. If we never try to do anything that is too tedious or complicated, we would never know what the outcome really will be.</p>

<p>As many of us know, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. It did not take him one try to build it. It took him 1001 times to come up with the perfect solution. Out of those 1001 times, he failed 1000 times. Nobody I know has failed that many times and still come up successfully. Edison aimed really high and fell really hard. That did not stop his motivation. He turned his failures into success. He did not fail 1000 times, but he found 1000 ways not to make a light bulb.</p>

<p>The famous basketball icon Michael Jordan was never born a legendary athlete. Growing up in high school, he did not make his Varsity basketball team. That did not stop him. Everyday after school, he would hit the gym, shoot free throws, and practice dribbling. He would return home mentally and physically exhausted. After a full year of tedious training, he tried out again. He made the team and dominated the league the rest of his high school career. Michael didn’t give up after getting cut, he set his goals high and accomplished just that. With motivation, dedication, and perseverance; he succeeded. </p>

<p>Although aiming high is a good way to go, some people are afraid of failure and rejection. A good example is a guy who lacks self confidence that is afraid of asking a girl of his dreams out on a date. Why? He is afraid of taking a chance and getting rejected. The girl could be waiting to be asked by him. Due to aiming too low, the guy will never know. Failure and rejection hurts, but that does not mean you cannot take a leap of faith.</p>

<p>As shown above, both Michael Jordan and Thomas Edison succeeded in what they planned to do. Both men never gave up, and strive towards success. No matter ho challenging or daunting the task. They preserved and achieved their mark in life. Both men aimed higher than most others and that’s why are known today for their achievements.</p>

2

<p>12 Great Job!</p>

<ul>
<li>great word phrasing</li>
<li>correct grammar</li>
<li> smooth transitions</li>
</ul>

3

<p>11/12</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Excellent Examples…I think the last example is especially effective since it appeals to basically everyone’ personal experiences. Grammar and transitions are fine too.</p></li>
<li><p>The only thing that kept me from rating it a 12 is the intro. It would’ve been better if you had made it a sort of “stand alone” essay rather than a response to the question. “I believe that Michelangelo is right.” isn’t necessary…instead, a rhetorical question or a hook into the thesis would’ve been better. Also, in the intro, it would’ve been better if you mentioned your examples after the thesis to establish and solidify the structure of the essay and what you’re going to use to argue your point.</p></li>
</ol>

4

<p>thanks. the actual question had a quote from michaelangelo so thats why my first sentence was me agreeing with him.</p>