Read my UC prompt #2 please.

<p>Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>

<p>It was the Little League All-Star Game. As an eleven-year old kid, all I could think about the entire day was the game. Butterflies were in my stomach as I thought about the crisp, brown earth and soft, green grass. I thought about the smell of hotdogs and sunflower seeds, the sound of the supportive parents in the stands accompanied with the passionate pep-talks given by the coaches. I loved baseball. Looking back, it was not just a hobby of mine that I played every Saturday morning; it was the foundation that taught me the importance of team work, determination, and hope in all aspects of life. </p>

<p>The majority of the game was miserable. My team never had a lead, nor a run on the board. In the dugout, all you can see on the kids’ faces were despair as the hope of advancing to the second round was slipping away. However, I kept my composure and attempted to enliven the team. However, eventually, it was the bottom of the final inning, and we were down by six runs. With three outs left to make an impact, we needed a miracle to win. </p>

<p>Against all odds, the team started to come together, and we chanted as loud as our little lungs could handle. My team started to rally. There was one hit after another, a barrage of bats and flying balls, and we were coming back. Finally, in the bottom of the sixth, two outs, with the score tied up and bases loaded, I was my turn to bat. I shook the anxiety and fear off by back and walked up slowly. Taking a deep breath, I absorbed the moment, zoning out all the sounds and faces around me. I was determined to hit this ball and I would not let my team down. A myriad of strikes, balls, and nearly fair foul balls came by. With a full count, I knew I would hit the next pitch. “Crack” is all I heard as I ran to first base, screaming with joy and excitement. I had gotten a walk off hit. </p>

<p>My team crowded around me, everyone jumping for joy and patting me on the head. This was the greatest accomplishment of my young life. The next day, my coach called me with the news that I was in the local newspaper. It read, “Victorville scored six runs in the bottom of the sixth to win, capped by a bases-loaded single by [my name]”. From this day forth, in any situation, I live by three principles: team work, determination, and hope.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>Did you not read this?</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1466-posting-essays-other-sensitive-information.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1466-posting-essays-other-sensitive-information.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I liked your prompt a lot… There were a few grammatical errors such as : Finally, in the bottom of the sixth, two outs, with the score tied up and bases loaded, I was my turn to bat.<br>
You should just have somebody read it indepth and just spot those little errors. For example, you should change “I” to “It.” Just little silly mistakes like that to perfect it. Good Luck.</p>

<p>I feel that you should incorporate a “show, don’t tell”, relevant example for your last sentence in the concluding paragraph.</p>

<p>Thank you to all that answered! I am new here, so I accidentally posted the entire essay for the whole world to see -____-. Hopefully nobody steals it or something of that matter…</p>

<p>Yes, I did read it AFTER I posted it. I feel stupid for doing so, but what is done is done.</p>

<p>Good job. I’m working on my prompt… So much work</p>