Readmission to UCSD Personal Statement ...I need feedback

<p>And what else should I add , explain ? </p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>a. An explanation of the problem(s) in the quarters that led to your academic disqualification
b. A description of what you have been doing in your time away from UC San Diego to prepare you for readmission (you
can attach supporting documentation)
c. A plan of action you intend to follow should you be readmitted, including any support systems and strategies you will
utilize</p>

<p>I typed this up on note pad, so excuse the slight disorganization here…</p>

<p>Hi, my name is (). I have decided to change my major from Electrical Engineering to Physics
I’m writing this letter to gain readmission into UCSD.</p>

<p>In my first two quarters at UCSD I failed to attain a GPA of 2.0 for two consecutive
quarters, and regret it. I blame nobody but myself for my poor academic performance, which resulted in me earning a
significantly low GPA. I attribute my academic failure on inefficient time management. Because of that, I did not seek help when I needed it. I did not make time to attend discussion sessions or interact with my TA’s or professors
during their available office hours. I also failed to take advantage of the extra tutoring offered within the ece department, as well as not interacting with other students.</p>

<p>During my time away from UCSD, I attended () for one semester and one summer session.
I managed to earn a 3.75 GPA. The classes I took helped me discover my change in major physics. Classes in geology
and astronomy interested me (because in those fields, physics has many applications, especially geology), so I studied hard in these classes and interacted with my instructors and peers to gain more insight
and understanding. I made sure to review my class notes every day, read my text-book before arriving to class and to ask
questions. Having said that, I was able to manage my time more efficiently, consequently doing well on all my exams and assignments.</p>

<p>My academic failure has been a valuable learning experience for me. From now on, I will stay on campus for longer hours to make sure I work more
closely with my academic advisers and to seek assistance when I need it. I will spend these hours attending my professor’s and TA’s office hours; I will also attend
discussion sessions for problem solving and review of class material. Prior to class, I will read ahead in my textbook to enable better preparation for lectures, and solve homework problems beforehand, to better understand what I need help with. From there, I will ask questions and begin interacting with my TA’s and professors.
Having said that, I plan on changing my major to Physics. I have developed a new interest in physics. </p>

<p>I value the opportunity of getting a college education, and it means a lot to me in my life, because
I am the first person in my family to attend college.</p>

<p>In conclusion, I thank you for your time and consideration in reading my personal statement.</p>

<p>I don’t know if you have already submitted your readmission appeal but the brutal truth is that your essay is pretty flat. All you did was answer the questions, your answers have no life in them. My best friend just submitted his own appeal to UCSD and I helped him a bit with the essay. You want to have the dean of your college see your personality through the writing. I want to feel that you have changed and have the motivation to return to campus with a new major, not just a nice list of what you did. I would also recommend dropping the hello my name is they should know who you are. </p>