<p>Any confidence I had as an RD applicant was shaken this past week… in my school, we finally received our midterm grades. And of my 5 core classes, I had only reached 2 of my goals in marks. I was literally half a point away on the midterm from an A- in my AP Macro class, due to errors in rounding I was literally 0.1 points away from a B+ in AP Physics (the hardest science class in my school), and because one measly essay in my entire AP Eng. Lit exam was worth an entire 70% of the entire grade out of four sections that took equally as much time to complete (and there was no way this essay could have been graded completely objectively), I ended up with a B+ on my midterm which brought my overall grade to a B+ (only needed a 90!).
But colleges won’t ever know any of this…</p>
<p>So obviously, I feel fruitless right now. I mean, I could bring out a slew of excuses (like excessive absences, like 30, for extraneous reasons) for each specific class.
AP Physics: Hardest class in the school, took a summer course to place into the class and then had one full year of zero physics practice
AP Macro: Recently placed in a regional economics competition and will go to states (hopefully that would compensate for a B+ in the class).
AP Eng Lit: Got a 5 on AP Eng Lang. exam, and got a B+ in the AP Eng Language class last year as well.</p>
<p>And my stats are the usual:
-2340 SAT’s,
-4.325 W GPA, 3.83 UW (dropped a full 0.07 just from this last quarter),
-Solid SAT II’s (790, 780, 800 in bio, chem, math II),
-Top 2-3% of class of 700 I’m assuming (school doesn’t rank),
-Awards, AP classes, rigorous course load, good recs, yadda yadda, same ol’ same ol’</p>
<p>But I can’t deny anything. My grades have slowly dropped since 9th grade to now, from A/A+'s to now one B and B+'s (but the rigor of classes increased and my absences doubled each year).</p>
<p>The only reason I’m posting this thread up… is because I want a critique of my essays and a critique of me as an applicant as a whole, now that you’ve gotten a good picture. Because I recognize that my essays are the one fighting chance I have of making an impression on this whole game, that it might have them overlook my drop in grades. Because at this late point stage of the game, I have nothing else to cling to, nothing else to delude myself into thinking I have control over in this admissions process after working so hard on my senior grades, the last thing that counted… and I feel as though I’ve lost myself. </p>
<p>So more than anything, would anyone be willing to critique my essays and help me not only regain my lost confidence/worth as an applicant (which really, is measured solely in terms of an acceptance or a rejection), but also reaffirm the value of the hard weeks I put into my essays such that they would overcome/ironically display my faults? I put my soul into them… and more than anything, I’d like to have some earnest and honest compliments that would possibly lift my spirits from a bleak future where I’m not sure if I’ll ever fulfill my ultimate potential and bring about the true change I envisioned for the world. And these essays are something I’ll continue to improve upon, as well as my own characteristics.</p>