<p>Honestly, I have a couple of coworkers who drive me insane. I tend to have a short fuse, so give me some real tips on how
to keep my cool. TIA.</p>
<p>Take a deep breath and go to 'the happy place in your mind." </p>
<p>Think of specifically what they are doing that triggers you. Is there any way of minimizing interaction with them? Is there a different way you wan interact with them that might improve their behavior? What are you contributing to thus dynamic?</p>
<p>Consider meditation or a brief exercise break in lieu of an exercise break before you reach your limit. </p>
<p>Thank you, HI. I can’t escape. LOL. I am the senior member and must mentor these new ones. I KNOW I have to change MY reaction to the annoying stuff. I do occasionally refer one of them to our manager because she tends to ask me questions and then argues with me. (I’ve been there 37 years, she has been there 2 months).<br>
I don’t know what I might be contributing. Interesting question. She probably finds me annoying as heck, too. LOL.</p>
<p>It’s hard to be angry when you are laughing (even laughing on the inside) so try to imagine them with a piece of spinach stuck between their front teeth or their fly open or something. It’s a start. </p>
<p>^^LOL. </p>
<p>is there a big age difference between you and the new people you are training? (By that I mean, is some of the annoyance coming from a generational change in what younger people think is appropriate “business behavior” or an attitude of “I’m always right, why do I need to be here training?”)</p>
<p>Also, will these people be in your face for just a short time of training, or are you stuck with them long term?</p>
<p>Maybe. It’s a well known fact that new graduates grouse that us baby boomers should ge the heck out and let them have our jobs.
And long term.</p>
<p>Can you put some of the directions in writing and refer the new ones to it? Can you have more adept new ones mentor more clueless ones? It can be reinforcing for the ones who are quicker learners and might work better for the newbies?</p>
<p>A lot of times, I find what most annoys me in others are things I’m not fond of in myself. Sometimes yep talking the situation over with a good sounding board might give you new ways to interact with the newbies. </p>
<p>Maybe, ask the arguer to put in writing any suggestions she has for improvements, so it can be shared with the appropriate channels. H will just stop and walk away if someone starts arguing when they’ve asked for his help. They then have to shut up and go find him. If they ask him why he left, he says, “It didn’t appear you wanted me and I’m not interested in arguing. I have work to do and a limited time to do it. I will help you but have limited time for that too. If you’re ready to listen, I will try to fit you in my schedule.” It worked for him for 45 years. </p>
<p>A friend’s young son, new to the workforce, argued himself out of a job. And still didn’t get it when he got fired…it was still all “their” fault. He didn’t want to do things the way he was taught, he thought for sure he knew better. Not only that, he was arrogant about his attitude.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are dealing with more than one person’s bad attitude. I wish I had some encouragement for you, hoping others can share what has worked for them in the office.</p>
<p>Tell them that their first job is to write the procedures manual.</p>
<p>I have a coworker I had to train and be responsible for the last year who was arguing with me about everything on day one even though he had no experience and absolutely no relevant knowledge. He is as bright and sunshiney with management as possible and with anyone he thinks might help him go places, but has never had any interest in anything I have to say, even when I was trying to teach him to do his job. He would yell at me and argue with me and blatantly refuse to follow the instructions I gave him. I told our manager, she told him he needed to respect me, he told her he did, she believed him, it never got better. I gave up, I had to disengage. Eventually he had been around long enough to be held responsible for his own mistakes, so I let him make them. Whatever. I deal with him minimally now or I might have changed jobs.</p>
<p>“She asks questions and then argues with me.”
Is she really arguing or simply battering you with questions (like having a debate on a topic) because she doesn’t get complete answers from you the first time? What is focus of the questions?
If the questions center on procedure, company policy, schedules etc, It may be she wants to know the WHY of whatever the answer is. And it’s best that the answer is not “because we’ve always done it that way.” or “I’ve been here 37 years”. Take the time to impart your knowledge. And as a person who has been there 37 years, you are simply the best person to ask. You may be one of very few people with a historical knowledge of your company and the work environment who is able to answer the WHY of how procedures have evolved.
I’m one of those irritating people who ask a lot of questions–I’m not arguing–I want to actually know how the system works. I don’t challenge the person I’m asking but I do challenge the system–I don’t want to re-invent the wheel if it’s working but I don’t like to spin my wheels either. More information the better. Sometimes that info isn’t in the procedure book–sometimes it’s office politics, company history, “been there, tried that data”.
If the questions are of a professional nature (new kid with shiny college degree vs “oldie-goldie”), it’s a bit different. But still a matter of imparting your wisdom learned over the years–not everything is in a book. </p>
<p>Bottom line: Change your mind set. Questions come from a need for knowledge. Expect them until that need is filled. Finding out WHY the questions are being asked (curiosity, got a problem, want to change the system, etc.) will help you answer more effectively.</p>
<p>As someone with a low tolerance for stupidity, you have my sympathy. I wonder though, do you usually do training or is this something new for you?</p>
<p>I was a bit taken aback by your quote: " It’s a well known fact that new graduates grouse that us baby boomers should ge the heck out and let them have our jobs.And long term. ."</p>
<p>Did you go into the task resentful and annoyed having to deal with the young whipper snappers? Or, is this batch of trainees especially annoying?</p>
<p>I’ve enjoyed reading all the responses and it has given me food for thought. Thank you!</p>
<p>I work with young people - 25 to young 30s. I encourage them to “ask why,” so sometimes they’ll be argumentative even though I am their boss. I generally remain very cool and not raise my voice with them, and whenever possible I share my thought process with them. If I am press for time, I’ll tell them to just do it my way and I would explain to them later as to why. It took me a while to build trust between us, but now (1.5 year later) they challenge me less and would make same decisions as me even when I am not around.</p>
<p>Pretend they’re characters in a movie. Take an “observational” role. </p>