<p>Zoosermom, please accept my condolences as well. It’s so hard to lose a parent.</p>
<p>Regarding the schools: Another thing to consider is that many, if not most, kids change their minds about what they want to do. If she chooses School #1, and decides not to do the 3:2 program, will she still be happy there? Or decides not to teach?</p>
<p>My personal bent is that college is more than vocational training. If you can’t explore the world of the mind when you’re in college and learn about subjects you’ve never even heard of, when can you? Since School #1 doesn’t allow that flexibility, I’d vote for School #2.</p>
<p>Zmom—sorry to hear about your father. I disagree w/ the suggestion that you ask for more time. Having been through dealing w/ a parent’s death isn’t something that will get easier in the short term…and you are probably all better off to have zgirl make her decision and start your process of moving forward with the next phase of her life.</p>
<p>If we’re voting, I’d probably vote for #2. It’s probably easier for her to transfer to the big state school if she finds that #2 doesn’t meet all her dreams than vice versa. It’s an emotional time for your family, and maybe now is the time to go with her heart…as it seems like #2 may be it…and don’t worry about the wardrobe. Unless she wants to try to really dress up, I think that most campus attire is very casual…sweatshirts and jeans seems to be pretty prevalent.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to both of you. I haven’t lost a parent yet, but I’ve seen enough friends lose their parents to appreciate just how hard it is, ready or not. And losing a grandparent suddenly in the midst of making her first real adult decision has to affect your daughter, too.</p>
<p>Peeking at the acceptance list to get a better idea of specifics deepens my sense that #2 is the far safer choice in terms of overall happiness/success, as long as it’s reasonably affordable (which is seems like it is). The near-absolute need for a car at #1 and non-necessity of it at #2 should also factor into the financial equation. But I would be concerned that #1 will feel like exile, and that going into a 5-year master’s program from the outset will feel limiting and won’t involve the same diversity of interests and strengths among classroom peers.</p>
<p>Zoosermom - I’m so sorry about your dad. I’ve been there, and I know what it does to your thought processes. Grief is mentally and emotionally an exhausting and demanding occupation. I suspect your D is also having similar emotions? Tough time to make such an important decision.</p>
<p>All that said, I go along with what’s behind door number 2. We are careful, cautious folk, who always shop for the best bargains, and generally purchase things a year or two after we need them! But we made the faith-filled decision to allow our kids to follow their hearts, and eat beans if need be. My eldest is 2 years out of school, and we and he are still paying off loans. Just last week I asked him if he had any regrets - and got a resounding no. </p>
<p>He, like your D, was willing to go the state school route to please us and help out the family finances. He is a very obedient kid, and quite intelligent enough to make the best of whatever comes his way. His dad and I knew his heart was at Penn, so we sat with a spread sheet, came up with cold, hard numbers, and asked S if he would be willing to accept all the debt upon graduation. S happily said yes. It was a fabulous fit, and something hard to put a pricetag on.</p>
<p>We did agree in advance that should something happen to us financially or otherwise, he might have to transfer. Rather than make a 4 year decision, we made a 1 year decision, four times.</p>
<p>As it turned out, S2 got a very nice scholarship, and S1’s aid increased once we had two in college (FAFSA didn’t care that one kid is on scholarship!) and the debt turned out to be significantly less than we’d bargained for. How happy we are that we hadn’t made the decision with only dollar signs.</p>
<p>I know there is a great bit of wisdom in buying only what you can afford – that is how we live the rest of the time. This was an exception for us, and one we decided carefully. Best wishes for whatever you decide.</p>
<p>I’m still trying to get a little better handle on the financials. $500 a month for 120 months at around 5% works out to a loan amount of almost $50k. Did I get that right?</p>
<p>That would certainly give me pause. $6k a year to be paid out of net income is like $8k out of gross. Figuring a starting salary of $35-40k gross, it’s a bit tight. Still might be worth doing (and comments about the car, etc. are worth considering.)</p>
<p>I just want you to know that I appreciate the hard info as well as the insight that you have all taken the time to post. It is enormously helpful.</p>
<p>hmmm, I would definitely make my kid work b/c I would not feel comfortable with my kid having 52,000 in debt. I am not wild about 32,000 either. Keep in mind that tuition keeps on increasing, and your D might want some money for study abroad, and pocket change just to live.</p>
<p>Another consideration with regard to work, loans etc.-What is the likelihood that your financial situation can improve somewhat?
We were able to have our D not accept a final semester unsubsidized loan. Her living expenses went down by moving off campus, she earned a bit more than expected in a co-op, and we had a bit of income increase. My point is that all you can do is make the best judgement with the information you have now, but money should not be the only determinant.</p>
<p>zoosermom
my condolences
you are asking for straightforward answers so I feel comfortable saying this:
they way you wrote up the descriptions for the #1 and #2 choices is so obviously biased towards #2 that I feel you’re mind is already made up ,and that you are looking for validation of the choice. I think that came out harsher than I meant it to,but I hope you get the idea of what I’m saying…
sometimes writing something out helps make it more concrete?</p>
<p>I’d like to add that the distance to home could be more important than you might think. A 90 minute drive means that you can visit for a day trip, she can come home for a weekend and it’s easier on move-in or move-out days. Now that we have a college sophomore, I’m even more inclined to take distance into consideration.</p>
<p>“I feel you’re mind is already made up ,and that you are looking for validation of the choice. I think that came out harsher than I meant it to,but I hope you get the idea of what I’m saying…”</p>
<p>I completely understand why you would say that and no offense taken at all, but she’s actually leaning heavily toward #1 because she is generally the most practical person. To the expense of her heart very frequently.</p>
<p>As far as our financial situation improving, the problem is that Zoosersister will come along with Zoosergirl is a senior in college and Zoosersister is probably going to be looking at very expensive schools. I’m completely and totally at a loss here. Part of it is that I’m a libra and the worst thing in the world for me is having two good options. My brain may explode!</p>
<p>" 90 minute drive means that you can visit for a day trip, she can come home for a weekend and it’s easier on move-in or move-out days. Now that we have a college sophomore, I’m even more inclined to take distance into consideration."</p>
<p>Good point. With hubby’s and my work schedules and two younger kids, visiting will be incredibly difficult and I don’t think overnights will ever be possible.</p>
<p>Based on your other posts, I gather that you don’t qualify for need-based aid at the LAC? If that’s the case, keep in mind that you may qualify for something when D1 is a college senior and D2 is a freshman. You might try to run that scenario with the calculators at finaid.com.</p>
<p>“Based on your other posts, I gather that you don’t qualify for need-based aid at the LAC? If that’s the case, keep in mind that you may qualify for something when D1 is a college senior and D2 is a freshman. You might try to run that scenario with the calculators at finaid.com.”</p>
<p>Oh yeah? I didn’t think of that at all. If you have a second at some point, would you explain how to do that? I mean, what would I put into the calculator? Sorry to be stupid but I know nothing about this at all.</p>
<p>Zoosermom - My biggest question to your gal would be - are you absolutely 500% sure that the direction that the 3/2 program offers is absolutely where and how you want to do this - no room for any other direction at all - VS - has she considered ANY other direction - such as the possibility of research or any field in the science major she seems to be chasing - which the LAC may be better to provide - especially if she decides direction at all.</p>
<p>The reason I ask this is - my gal was adament about the direction she wanted to go - was seriously considering a 3/2 program as well - tho she decided to go the state school route - she decided not to ‘‘marry’’ the 3/2 program - thank goodness - cuz… she DID change direction mid-stream - and had she been locked into the 3/2 program she would have been up to her neck in problems to do so - to make the change.</p>
<p>Both options are very viable ones - great choices - but your gal really needs to follow her heart - not her head LOL - she needs to decide if she wants to search out all the opportunities - maybe a semester abroad - or to tickle some interest courses - things she has always wanted to try/learn about, etc… If that is the case - the LAC will be a much better fit for her. The 3/2 program could possibly lock her into not being able to search and find those things that she may want to explore.</p>
<p>I would take the $$ issue out of the picture/equation for a bit and really soul search which direction she wants to really go - which choice she is going to be the happiest with and for the right reasons - and that choice will be the best one for her - for all of you actually.</p>
<p>I’m totally reading between the lines here and adding my preferences but I say School A–by a long shot. She could use that $4k pre year to travel in the summers–do three terms of JYA and so on. My gut is that you may be underestimating her needs and wants as a 21 and 22 year old. The larger school could be a better fit in the those years.</p>
<p>ZM, first, condolences about the loss of your father. I lost my dad a couple of years ago and I still “talk” to him sometimes, I have some sense of what you’re going through. Hard to make life-significant decisions with ZG at the moment.</p>
<p>That said, I lean heavily towards Option B, by a long shot. As for the $4K a year from ZG, I strongly believe that our kids need to pick up part of the tab, no matter what the total cost is. Imo, being invested–literally–in their own education is a good thing. $500 a month debt when she leaves school is a little higher than I’d like to see but it’s not a deal-breaker from where I sit.</p>
<p>I like JeepMom’s thoughts in her last paragraph.</p>