<p>
</p>
<p>In other words, she has chosen to not earn much income. She could make other choices. Don’t let her choice be a burden on you.</p>
<p>When you talk to your parish priest, ask about mental health resources for your mother - what is available to her with her limited resources. It sounds like she is not willing or able to take the steps necessary to move on. She may be suffering from depression, and should get help if she is. </p>
<p>It’s great that she wants to work in education, but she needs to accept that education is actually pretty broad. A well-to-do family looking for a nanny might be delighted to have a nanny that can tutor their children, or possibly even homeschool them.</p>
<p>I second “VeryHappy’s” comment. Do not make this your burden, or (because this can happen as a pattern of behavior) Do not let this be your excuse for not fulfilling your potential.</p>
<p>I’d like to again thank everyone for their input, and I’d also like to provide an update.</p>
<p>I took a trip down to the church and talked to my priest, and he was extremely supportive. He encouraged me to pursue my own endeavors and to not let my mom’s burdens weigh down my shoulders, and he also assured me that if my mother were to need help when I’m away, our church can help. He told me about our church’s food pantry and how they try and make it very discrete. They open it up at night on a weekday so that struggling families can come down and pick up anything that would help them get by without attracting a lot of attentions from other church-goers. I relayed this information to my mother, and though she’s very stubborn and proud, she promised that she would keep it in mind come the fall semester.</p>
<p>Also, I worked out a little plan like intparent suggested to help manage things. I told my mother that I would come home once a month (during whichever weekend works out best for her) to make sure the bills are paid and to go coupon-shopping with her at the grocery store. I also told her I would help out by cleaning the windows and any other thing that we tend to do monthly to help give her a break. </p>
<p>I worked out a thing with my bank so that I can wire her $30 weekly to help her pay for bills and gas. While I admit I’d rather give her a gas card or write out the bill myself so that I know my money goes where it should, I think that’s too much stress on my part, so I’m hoping that my mom can be responsible enough to use that money wisely.</p>
<p>So far, that’s my plan, and I just hope that it’ll help her and that it’s enough. I don’t really know what else I can do at this point with only one week to go before move-in day, but I hope that it helps.</p>
<p>middlebrook,</p>
<p>Congratulations on all the actions you have taken. They are productive steps, and you are helping your mother in a very mature way. </p>
<p>Just remember that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. In other words, while you are providing your mother will information that can help her – like the food pantry – not to mention the money, she will need to take action to take advantage of it. If she doesn’t, you can’t do any more than you’ve already done. You’ve told her about the option, and you’ve indicated you’ll be home once a month. </p>
<p>I hope you can be tough and stick to that schedule. None of us wants to see your education derailed in order for you to deal with this.</p>
<p>I will still push you and hope that you will seek counseling at your U. This is not because YOU need help but because you are going to need support to stick to your plan and figure out yet more plans for the future.
You are doing a fabulous job!</p>
<p>Yes… PLEASE don’t get sucked into giving up your plans for your mom’s current desires!!! I see it happen too often. in the long run, it is best for you to earn your degree and have enough energy to do it well - including networking with others and getting experience you will need later to get a good paying job. This might even mean taking an unpaid internship instead of a paying job. It sounds to me that your mother is taking advantage of your generousity, and I hear some justifiable resentment from you. Please take care of yourself first, then consider your Mom’s needs.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all of your support!! I really appreciate it. </p>
<p>I am starting to feel kind of burned out from working so much, so I’m definitely going to try and relax by just taking classes and working around 20 hours (at first since my job is seasonal). </p>
<p>I have no idea how to even get counseling at my school, but once things calm a little bit, I think I will make the effort to find out. And maybe I can gain some insight that can help my mom, too. :)</p>
<p>Go to your medical infirmary. Or first poke around on-line. Every college has counselors.</p>
<p>My sister-in-law has been an underpaid nursery school teacher and has found all kinds of ways to make more money. I don’t feel all the onus should be on you. Things my sil has done:</p>
<p>Do telephone orders at holiday for mail order businesses
Reupholstered furniture (that takes some pretty serious skills!)
Delivered homemade soup and fresh bread to people once a week (mostly friends from church)
Knit homemade sweaters
Help people organize a room or a house</p>
<p>I agree with snugapug on getting a sense of the basic level of expenses that your household incurs, and comparing it to the income produced. This is basic arithmetic. If you use a checkbook, it will be a little time consuming, but not terrible. If everything is done with cash you’ll have to do a little more. </p>
<p>You just need to figure out whether the household is in a sustainable position (equilibrium) or not. If not, someone will have to make some changes, sooner or later, one way or the other. Again, its basic arithmetic and common sense, but you have to sit down and work through it to know what it is. THat way you’ll know how much “help” needs to be provided. Knowing how far “short” the income is is important in developing choices.</p>