Really worried

<p>I'm really really worried about finding friends this Fall. I'm a horrible conversationalist, and I tend to shy away from people especially when I'm in big groups of people. I do the best with one-on-one or in really small groups of people. I'm a good friend, I just never know what to say. I had a few close friends in high school with similar personalities, we don't really even know how we became friends. I'm worried because I'm not interested in partying or drinking, and several of the posts on the facebook page for the incoming class were like "heyy who's ready to party??" with a bunch of people liking it, lol. I don't care if other people want to do that, I'm just looking for people who have other ideas of fun. At orientation I tried to introduce myself to lots of people and be friendly, but I didn't really come away from it feeling like I made any friends. I'm just a really quiet person until I know someone really well, and people tend to see me as boring and move onto someone more bubbly and outgoing. Any success stories of really shy people making friends?</p>

<p>Quality over Quantity.</p>

<p>My recommendation is to look into various activities and clubs that interest you. The list of different clubs goes on and on. In the clubs you're interested in you'll be sure to meet people with similar interests.</p>

<p>sure, I'll be your friend.</p>

<p>Spend some quality time at Festifall and find yourself a few organizations to join. It's all about "making a big college smaller" (do they still say that?), and the best way to do that is meeting people with similar interests.</p>

<p>I'm the same way and I actually had the same experience at orientation and only befriended one or two people. It doesn't bother me much, but I try and just find like minded people. Perhaps we'd get along if we ever met :D haha.</p>

<p>Chill out with your roommate and their friends, that's how I met people during all my programs and stuff. It should just fall into place.</p>

<p>We have a college student who is the exact same--quiet around people who are unfamiliar, not big on "party party", went to a school knowing nobody going in... but by the end of first year in college had lots of friends (beginning with roommate), second year had even way more friends, etc. So don't worry. </p>

<p>P.S. Best way to make conversation is to be curious and ask questions.</p>

<p>Well you sound exactly like me, haha. Considering what a hermit I am, I'm probably not the best person to give advice, but if you don't do what I did you should come out alright. =P</p>

<p>Things you shouldn't do:
1. Lock yourself away in your room. </p>

<p>This is probably the easiest way to not make friends. If you're in a single, it'll be even easier to just stay in your room and avoid people. If you have trouble approaching people, keep your door open while you're in your room, or sit in one of the study lounges in your hall. Put yourself in a situation where even if you aren't directly interacting with people, you're still around them.</p>

<ol>
<li>Avoid all hall meetings (including mandatory ones) and social events planned by RA.</li>
</ol>

<p>Okay, so last year (I was a junior living in Stockwell), I hardly even knew who my RA was. I didn't go to any meeting or events. It's no surprise that I didn't even know who lived next door to me. Go to the events, get to know the people in your hall. </p>

<ol>
<li>Give up before even trying. </li>
</ol>

<p>I pretty much resigned myself to not making any new friends. Don't do that to yourself. Even if you're the world's most socially awkward person, you are bound to find someone who you get along with and can be friends with. You just need to be patient and actually try. Don't sit around all day wishing you could make a friend. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way (I should know). </p>

<p>That being said, joining a living-learning community or other clubs/organizations are good ways to meet people with interests similar to yours. Even I managed to make several good acquaintances through LHSP (an arts/writing living learning program) and UROP.</p>

<p>I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck! The people at UoM are really friendly and very diverse, so I think you'll be okay. =)</p>