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<p>Guess me and my friends didn’t have any couth then. This has never seemed unusual to me. I will say though, this would only be a conversation between friends. </p>
<p>Can’t imagine having that kind of discussion.</p>
<p>I know my kids have some very wealthy friends, but I know they’ve never had any discussion of family’s net worth. I doubt it if those kids even knew. I remember taking one of those kids down to Chinatown for dim sum on a subway. She said to us, “This is such a wonderful experience. I have never done this before. Thank-you so much for having me.” </p>
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<p>I’m the same generation and same region (at least for school). definitely NOT the norm in my circle. Yeah, you can often tell just by what they drive or where they live but it’s not talked about. We honestly have way better things to discuss than what our parents make 
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<p>Well, I knew that some of my college friends’ families were rich, and that a few were bazillionaires. I don’t think I ever got to a finer level of detail than that. In the case of classmates named Walton, Forbes, etc., I guess you know without saying.</p>
<p>My kids just grew up around kids whose names were on a lot of buildings. For some reason a whole bunch of them had kids that year. I don’t think my kids knew, but we did, obviously. They rode their bike to school like everyone else and brought their lunch in a brown bag like everyone else. Their parents showed up and volunteered just like everyone else. But, there was one who talked about money and he was considered to be unbearably obnoxious and was actually ostracized for it by around seventh grade. It’s just not a “thing.” I think he ended up going to boarding school. </p>
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<p>Hmmm… Ethnic then? A good portion of my roster was Chinese. But even Whites generally weren’t opposed to money gossip, so I don’t know. </p>
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<p>I didn’t know anyone from a Forbes 400 family actually. Not sure if any went to Michigan at the same time as me even. But it wouldn’t surprise me that it’s different for people who are so rich that they’re famous. But that’s a different group than what I’m used to.</p>
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this would only be a conversation between friends.</p>
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<p>but why would friends discuss such specifics? Why would details be needed. If folks are rich, that fact is already known. Who needs amounts?</p>
<p>I like money talk. Investments. Ooooohhhh… And especially bargains. I can squeeze a nickel until the buffalo poops when I choose and would be happy to share techniques if you want to ask. Put me in the uncouth category. Folks, it’s just money. If you ask me, it’s a whole lot less gross than some of the other things people are willing to discuss quite publicly. The fin aid board is one of the best resources here, and it’s about . . . Money. Take a trip over over there. You can see what kind of trouble all that financial secrecy can get some families into.</p>
<p>By the way $1200 a month spending . . . Yeah, way more than a kid needs. Circumstances can change for anyone at any time. Learning to live with a little restraint is a good thing.</p>
<p>In my sorority, there were a few kids who came from money, but it wasn’t really an issue. One was from a family whose family (but not her directly) owned a major retail store chain. However, in the end it was a very quite girl who was the heiress. We never suspected a thing (she drove a very very ugly Dodge Colt), but when a friend went to visit, it was to an estate with maids and gardeners and the lunch table set with silver for every course. The wealthy one never said a thing, never had fancy wardrobe, never traveled to Europe (that we knew of) for Christmas. If she had been a debutant, it wasn’t mentioned but I suspect she was.</p>
<p>What difference did it make to us? None.</p>
<p>I would think it would in someways be hard to be someone with a ton of money…like Madonna’s Daughter Lourdes is starting college this fall at U of M. How does someone like that figure out who wants to be her friend because of herself or because her mom is rich?</p>
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<p>Considering the fame and the fact that her family would actually be worth 10 figures, not 8 or 9, this might be a different situation, but the people I knew were just normal people, except with more expensive cars, clothes, and apartments. Upper-middle class can be friends with the rich just fine, don’t have to be worried about being exploited. </p>
<p>Some of the BPs (and I think it’s possible to assume that Lourdes is one of them) really do hang out with each other, especially after freshman year when they have more freedom in deciding who they room with and where they live. I have no idea what the more common behavior is. I know there are a lot of celebrity kids at Brown, and my impression is that they somehow find each other and hang out with each other. (And I’m sure Emma Watson spent a lot more than 1200/month on spending, since she was being photographed in designer clothing at various events all over the world while still a student at Brown.)</p>
<p>But Emma Watson is not on an allowance since she’s the one earning the money. </p>
<p>I went to Yale. There were kids there whose families came over on the Mayflower and some who could buy and sell most of us many times over (also a lot of us poor folk). However, you would never know it. There is definitely a difference between “old” money and new money - or money from fame and fortune (like Madonna’s). Those kids that were really rich without fail were not flashy, wore regular, if not tattered clothes, and ate and drank just like the rest of us. At Yale no one needs or has a car, so that was not an issue.</p>
<p>My D went to school her whole life with kids who were well off. Even with my Yale degree, we are not rich, just very comfortable by most standards. None of them were flashy either, though some did travel more, drive a better car to school, etc.</p>
<p>Mine is going to Yale in a few days. She is working over the summer and will take that money with her. She will work a term job. I think she can fit in the 10-12 hours per week - heck we spent more time commuting than that each week so she’ll have the time. Before she leaves I plan on buying her enough toiletries, hair products, laundry detergent, etc. to last for awhile. Of course you can only do that if you can drive your kid to school. We live in the same climate as New Haven and the wardrobe of the kids at Yale is basically the same as her high school’s, so she does not have to buy a whole lot of new clothes before she goes. She is terribly happy that there is an Urban Outfitters right in the middle of campus, but she will have to foot the bill for any clothes bought there. </p>
<p>Her checking account is tied to mine. I plan on giving her money for trips home (on the train) and maybe something expensive she may need (like if her laptop died or something). Otherwise, pizza, trips to see friends at other schools on weekends, movie tickets and other random stuff she wants will be on her own dime. She is a vegan so I can anticipate her buying a lot of food off campus at a specialty store called Claire’s Cornucopia, though Yale does have a vegan option every meal. Since vegan snacks are expensive, I may send her a care package every once in awhile.</p>
<p>Her dad says he is going to send her the same allowance she got in high school, $120 a month. We’ll see how that goes. My kid is very frugal and probably has more money socked away in her room than I have in the bank. I do not anticipate any problems but she would probably be aghast if I even suggested that she spend $1,200 per month.</p>
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If she can avoid coffee drinks, it might be enough.</p>
<p>Just curious, are those saying they won’t pay for clothes only talking about name brand clothes? If your kid bought their clothes at Meijer (or Walmart) would you foot the bill or still no? </p>
<p>^ Sort of funny story but off topic. I buy all DS’s clothes. He really hates to shop. Usually it’s for Walmart or GAP. He came home a couple of weeks ago with his GF. I asked him if he had borrowed his roommates shirts since I knew it they weren’t his… He said no his GF had bought them for him… :"> </p>
<p>@mdcmom Wow. That’s a really tiny amount. Why so little? I can go through $50 just by using transportation (whether public or a cab) and going to lunch in 12hrs. It’s a personal decision, but an amount that small could be what prevents her from making friends. She won’t be able to hang out in town or in the city more than once a month IF she is even able to hang out at all. I get that she has savings, but it can’t be that much seeing that she is so young and hasn’t worked a full time job.</p>
<p>^ A lot of parents don’t give “allowances” to their adult children at all. As someone who didn’t get an allowance, I can assure you that it’s not a hindrance to making friends. Students are remarkably resourceful if there’s something they want. </p>
<p>Anyway, OP hasn’t come back since posting this. Methinks he either didn’t really care about our answers or he’s been scared away. </p>