Received a full scholarship I don't want; what to do?

Parents Forum
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<p>I applied to too many safety schools, let me just put it out there. At some point in December I decided on Boston College, SUNY Geneseo, University of Richmond, and Trinity College. Yes, in hindsight that was 2 too many, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. Richmond and Trinity I only applied for because of the chance at full scholarships, but I didn’t really want to go to either school unless I didn’t get in to any of my reach schools (Yale, Penn, Columbia, and Chicago). </p>

<p>Today I found out I received a full scholarship from Trinity. I’d already been accepted to Genseo (20k/year) and Chicago (25k the first year, ~35k/year after my sister leaves college). The gap between Chicago and Geneseo was just small enough that I had convinced my parents to let me go to Chicago if my other reaches fell through. I feel like the gap between Chicago and Trinity will be too large to overcome, even though I’d be much happier at Chicago. One of my main criteria in choosing a college was an intellectual and interesting/passionate student body. I want to learn from my peers in and out of the classroom; however, I’m not sure I can do this at a place like Trinity.</p>

<p>Obviously I still have the Ivy decisions to come out. Yale is my first choice, and if I got in there I’d probably get enough aid to be able to attend, but given the odds I’m not planning on being accepted. Columbia might offer me enough aid (I’m not really sure), but Penn’s won’t be much better than the price of Chicago. I can’t help feeling like with this scholarship, it’s Yale or Trinity. Yet if I’d never applied to Trinity, I’d be free to attend Chicago or one of my other reaches if not accepted by Yale. </p>

<p>I could try telling this to my parents, but I’m not sure they’d understand. I got a random letter from Oklahoma after I was named a National Merit Finalist offering me 90k for four years, and even though I had never applied/considered the school they tried to get me to consider the offer. I’m almost afraid to even tell them I got this scholarship. </p>

<p>What should I do?</p>

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<p>I’d suggest you take a DEEP breath and then WAIT until ALL your offers have come in (it’s only a few more weeks until April 1. Best of luck. Once you get in ALL the offers, including FAid & merit, make a chart that shows the total OUT OF POCKET costs of each of these. Note how much is a grant or other funds that don’t need repayment grants vs. how much needs to be repaid (loans).</p>

<p>Also list the pros & cons of each U, including everything about it you like & don’t like. Then, you will be prepared to articulate why you want one school over the others. </p>

<p>Congrats on your acceptances & offers so far!</p>

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<p>I think your parents deserve to know about the offer from Trinity now. It’s their money. </p>

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<p>If you think that only people who attend Yale or Chicago have something to teach you, you need to adjust your world view.</p>

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<p>Yes, it does make sense to have full disclosure with your folks but remind them that you all agreed to wait until ALL Us have been heard back from so your family can make fully informed choices. It is really great that you are getting some nice merit & FAid awards.</p>

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<p>My daughter received Presidential award from Trinity few years back. They only give out very few of those awards. It’s full tuition. Trinity is an excellent LAC. They have a great medical school placement. We met kids who turned down Brown, Yale, and other top schools to save money for graduate school. D1 did ultimately turn it down at the end because of the size and location. But we made the decision together as a family.</p>

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<p>You’re in an envious position right now. As others have said, wait until you have all your facts. But don’t kick a gift horse… Trinity is a great school. My neighbor’s son went there (graduated 2009) and he’ll be going to a top medical school this fall. Many of his friends are also going or are in med school already.

Don’t assume one school is THAT different from another. In order to do justice to these choices, you really need to look beyond the rankings. They’re more alike than different!</p>

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<p>Myself, I think there is a gap between Trinity and Chicago, and that if you can swing it, you’d be better off at Chicago for a number of reasons— location being a big one. Talk this through with your parents, and look carefully at the aid packages. The prices may be closer than you think.</p>

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<p>I would say wait until you hear from all the schools, then tell your parents which school you would like to attend. If they do not agree because they want you to attend a school where your financial offer is better ask if they would be willing to pay if you come up with the difference between what they are willing to pay and where you want to go. If you think your dream school is not worth getting a job and going into personal debt over then go to the school they are willing to fund. That would be the fair and right thing to do.</p>

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<p>Which Trinity…the one in Hartford or the one in San Antonio?</p>

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<p>^
He said “Trinity College”… in CT.
Trinity University is in San Antonio.</p>

<p>I’m going through the same thing. If I get accepted to any Ivy league, my parents are still probably going to force me to go to UT.</p>

<p>I think the programs there are better. The name can matter, especially if you are trying to go into more social fields. I know in business, people look at where you went, and judge you by it. In some place, they won’t even consider your job application if you’re from a no-name school. However, there is (to some degree) the idea of being in a flashy new place that draws me. All of the schools I applied to (with the exception of Yale, which is essentially a little over an hour away from Manhattan using the train) were in big cities.
Stanford - Bay Area
Columbia - New York
Harvard - Boston</p>

<p>I’m sure they know that. I’ve almost openly said as much. I’ve told them I want out of Dallas… BADLY.
But what I’ve come upon is this.
If you TRULY think you’d be happier in ‘x’ school, then say as much. Now I think that we tend to forget the importance of happiness. I can hear the argument: “I don’t see how paying 50k a year is worth it”
I mean, if you aren’t happy as an individual, what do you have in life? You can only say “I’m doing this to make the future better” for so long.
At some point, you have to decide what makes you happy, and go for it… because (as much as I’d hate to say this), if you don’t chase what you want, then no one else will, not even your parents.</p>

<p>That being said, I don’t think that a location should determine everything. Before you go and argue that, ask yourself if you’d TRULY be unhappy… keep in mind the argument could easily be discredited for ‘BS’… especially according to my father (I have not presented this argument to them, although I already know their reactions).
I think I’d enjoy New York, San Francisco, or Boston more than Austin… but I could be happy in Austin. Austin is a good school, I would just prefer to go somewhere farther. </p>

<p>Just explain to them the rankings of these Universities. Why you want to go. Etc, like some of the above posters have said. It is their money, and if I were a parent… I wouldn’t like being lied to.
Just go in knowing your facts, maybe a even a few newspaper articles that make your university look good. You should’ve been getting ready for this “battle” since Soph or Junior year. Pointing positive aspects out of your college when seen can really have a subconscious impact.
I know this because my parents have been making Austin as well as UT look like GOD for the past few years. I, likewise, have been trying to do the same.
Just go in well prepared, and maybe with the right words and the proper facts, they may open up their checkbook.</p>

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<p>@ dunbar - when did you get your acceptance? and where are you located? Thx!</p>

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<p>Keep in mind that “being happy” for some years while you’re in college may not offset the 10+ years of paying off HUGE loans that come with many of these college offers, so you & your family have to do the math to determine what IS and ISN’T affordable. $200,000+ for an undergraduate education is a HUGE amount and many find that burden crushing, especially as interest causes it to grow and grow. </p>

<p>IF you may want to go to grad school, that is more important than where you went to undergrad anyway. If you deplete all your funds & more as an undergrad, you will not be able to afford grad school, never mind the elite ones.</p>

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<p>Harvard and Stanford might be less expensive than you (and your parents) think, due to their generous financial aid policies. Wait until the decisions (and financial aid, if you get in) are available.</p>

<p>However, UT Austin is certainly a worthy school.</p>

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<p>I know you’re still waiting for decisions, but I find your attitude a bit disturbing. Nothing in life is free, even (or especially) a college education.

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<p>If you were my child I would want all the facts. Suck it up and tell your folks.</p>

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<p>The OP was referring to the financial gap - only $5000-15,000 between UC and Geneseo, but $25-35,000 between UC and Trinity. But if the “full scholarship” is just full tuition, then the cost of attendance at Trinity is going to be more like $13-15,000. Perhaps the gap isn’t what you’re thinking.</p>

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<ol>
<li>you are not the only kid who got a letter from a random school offering a possible scholarship based on NM. </li>
<li>you will , doubtless, be surprised by the fact that you will find peers at ‘lesser’ schools. I’ve known quite brilliant people who went to schools that are not the most famous.</li>
<li>your parents deserve honesty.</li>
</ol>

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<p>^What I meant by that was in between getting into Chicago and getting the scholarship from Trinity I had convinced my parents that we could afford Chicago if need be. Now I’m not so sure.</p>

<p>

I’m not saying no one is interesting at Trinity, but the vast majority of the student body is not what I’m looking for in a college (before people ask why I even applied: not many safeties have the rigorous intellectualism of Chicago or Yale). </p>

<p>Just to defend this point, here’s a quote from an article in the Trinity newspaper about the need for presidential scholars (by someone without the scholarship):</p>

<p>

[Presidential</a> Scholars Key to Trinity Community - Opinions](<a href=“http://media.www.trinitytripod.com/media/storage/paper520/news/2009/11/03/Opinions/Presidential.Scholars.Key.To.Trinity.Community-3820821.shtml]Presidential”>http://media.www.trinitytripod.com/media/storage/paper520/news/2009/11/03/Opinions/Presidential.Scholars.Key.To.Trinity.Community-3820821.shtml)</p>

<p>I will say that I looked it up for clarification and the scholarship is only tuition, meaning I’d still be paying for room and board. This closes the gap a little–I don’t know if that’s enough to solve the issue at hand–but I’ll wait for March 30th anyway and hope for the best. Perhaps it at least brings Penn and Columbia into the picture?</p>

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Just out of curiosity, where does she go now?</p>

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I got a letter from Guided Studies a week or two ago, then got an email about this scholarship last night. Still no official “you’re accepted” letter though, so don’t be worried.</p>

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I’ve been thinking about this. The problem is I’m not sure if I want to go to grad school or not. I’d love to go the Ph.D. route, but a Ph.D. in the humanities is a really bad idea (I’m not ruling it out though). Another option I’ve been thinking of is law school, but I’m not totally psyched about the prospect of being a lawyer so I’d probably apply to HYS or something and see what happened first. I will say that no matter what I end up doing critical thinking/scholarship will probably be important, so I don’t want to fall behind peers who might get this almost constantly while I’d be hard-pressed to learn much outside of class.</p>

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I forwarded my dad the email today.</p>

<p>Thank you for all the kind responses. Most of your criticism is probably true as well, but I will try to make the best decision that I can.</p>

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<p>Congratulations. This is a good ‘problem’ to have. </p>

<p>Having said that, I think you are likely wrong about these two things:</p>

<p>“I feel like the gap between Chicago and Trinity will be too large to overcome, even though I’d be much happier at Chicago.”</p>

<p>While it may be true, most people are very very poor at affective forecasting. Especially when they are very young and have absolutely no actual real life experience with the options before them. Most end up quite happy at the college they attend, even when far from their first choice. We are not only adaptable beings, but we also can not truly predict the details of our day to day life in a new future. </p>

<p>And I also do not believe you will end up unprepared or less successful getting into graduate school from Trinity than Chicago. I’ve seen it time and again- fantastically strong graduate students and subsequent professors (I’m in academia) who came from such a gigantic breadth of colleges. Most of these differences in actual <em>education</em> are grossly overstated in HS and on CC.</p>

<p>And if you want to go into professional school, you’ll need big bucks. Run the numbers- the difference in $$ saved plus compound interest is going to be pretty darn big.</p>

<p>Anyways my thoughts. I don’t mean to assume I know you or your preferences, but just wanted to offer some additional meat for you to chew on.</p>

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<p>Trinity is a pretty impressive school. I would rank it very highly on its own merits. And I’m not sure that anyone is really THAT happy at U Chicago–isn’t that where fun goes to die?</p>