My husband is right now, today, trying to replace my non-working left front burner and has discovered he needs to order some heat resistant wire that he can’t get locally. Our oven is about 30 years old and came with the house. DH has replaced coils and burners over the years to keep it going, but I’ve been without that left front burner for over a year and it’s truly a nuisance not to have the use of it. Some months ago I bought an inexpensive hot plate, but it’s not very convenient and I only bring it out when I really have to.
We know we need to redo the kitchen as a whole-- it is very dated and the tiled counter is sinking in over the dishwasher. I’m just not up for tackling it yet, having just redone our bathroom this past fall. Our fridge gave out last spring so we replaced it, but it was a challenge finding one small enough to fit the existing niche. The dishwasher is probably not going to last more than a couple more years. I’m going to have to get going on this new project within a year or so, I think. I’d rather not replace any more appliances until then.
The kitchen is only about 10’x11’ and has 3 windows (side and rear of house) and 4 doorways (to exterior, to basement, to living room and to dining room), so there is not a whole lot we can do about changing the layout without expanding or knocking down walls. However as we plan to age in place here, I’d like to redo the room with our own comfort in mind as much as for a future buyer. Replacing awkward lower cabinets with drawers, for example, would reduce strain.
At the same time, I don’t want to spend a huge amount of money only to end up with essentially the same room, spruced up.
We decided to bite the billet and redo the entire kitchen at once sans the cabinets. The idea with living through 2 war zones (contertops and appliances in stages) was not very appealing…
Owners of houses is in desirable locations around here where the land is more valuable than the structure do not do any updating before sale because the homes are purchased for the land. So there is that factor to consider.
You can around here. I’ve been in houses with kitchens that have not been touched since the '40’s that sold. We have looked quite a bit and if we were to buy an older house we would rather redo the kitchen ourselves than buy one that was redone that we didn’t like.
Frustration. It’s one thing to deal with the appliances. The microwave has been out so long I don’t even remember when it worked last. But H has strung it along with hints that we could remodel after the kids are out, and now he’s singing a totally different tune.
We never spend that kind of money on the house without approval of both of us. And H doesn’t “use” the kitchen, so the convenience is utterly irrelevant to him. I totally hate the thought of spending $3K and not even getting what I really want out of it.
What kind of stove do you plan to buy? Our is a flat top electric…and was $650.
If your microwave is above your stove, you might want to consider getting an exhaust range hood instead…then get a smaller counter top microwave. Those are about $50.
Jumpstart the process with easy changes that you can do on your own. Paint the kitchen, declutter and reorganize the contents of your cabinets. (just like you would do if you were moving) Go to Home Goods or Pier One and get new glasses, plates and bowls, new dish towels and a rug for the sink area. Make yourself smile!
I ‘win’ ??? My oven (and cabinets) are original to the 1950’s house. We’ve slowly replaced appliances as they’ve died, but the dang oven still works. Now we’ve waited long enough that it is actually back in vogue
I think it’s like OP is trying to come to terms with the “diagnosis” while posters are trying to find “cures”. OP, clearly it hasn’t helped that your H has hinted about remodeling the kitchen and gotten your hopes up to start looking at what you would want to get. I bet you have a file (like I did) of info and photos?
That’s extremely selfish and inconsiderate, IMO. Certainly not very “team”-oriented.
If he isn’t willing to spend a few dollars because it’s important to YOU then there are other issues here besides a new stove, it seems to me.
YOLO, life’s too short, you can’t take it with you, etc. If he won’t join you, then tell him he better move out of the way, because you are going to make some changes, and if he wants any input he better get with the program. After 20 years, you deserve a better kitchen.
Sit down with him with a spreadsheet and say, “ok what is the plan for getting a new house? When are we going to sell? What to we need to do to get the house ready? When are we going to look for houses? Where are we going to look? What is the budget? What style house? How big? What features do you want?” Etc etc… Make him commit to a plan on paper.
Faced with that, redoing the kitchen may suddenly appear like a much better option. Or, you’ll have a plan for getting a new house.
Do you work? If so, your income is part of the household earnings, right?
When our kids were done with college…I had put aside some money for my counters and appliances out of my earnings…at least a good portion of it.
My husband didn’t really care about the kitchen…but since I was financially part of the action, it was a joint decision…and really…he agreed it all could be done.
ETA…I also made it clear that I wanted to get to enjoy any improvements we made…so waiting until we were going to sell was NOT part of the plan. I mean really…spending all of,that money to make another owner happy…not here!
It doesn’t matter whether she works for pay, @thumper1 . She works. She does all the cooking, according to post #23. You don’t need to be “financially part of the action.” If you’re a member of the family, you’re part of the community of people who run the household.
Obviously, there are some issues in this marriage that internet strangers can’t fix. As I said in my previous post, I’d order the appliances needed to make the kitchen work. Period. But if that is problematic, marriage counseling should be the next step.
I’m not ‘financially part of the action’ by earning money either, but that didn’t stop me from getting a new kitchen in our 60+ year old house (which we have owned for 30 years). I love it so much I said we have to stay another 20 years to enjoy it! I don’t think anyone should have to resign themselves to non-working appliances, at a minimum. We did some much needed updates which will be an asset when we do eventually sell.
^^^I was just going to post this. Life is too short not to enjoy the good basics of a home - and a working stove and microwave fall in that category.
You say you don’t want to spend 3K to get something that isn’t really what you want. You know, 3K may just buy you a kitchen that is working and a little more pleasant and that is better than the situation now that seems to make you sad and frustrated (which I understand!)
I think H needs to compromise. You too - if you can’t have it all renovated, what would you portion(s) would make a difference to you??
Mr. B just said, “Make him cook or fire that dude!” Mr. B knows - in order for him to avoid cooking altogether, he has to make sure that the family chef has a functioning kitchen.
Are you in financial trouble? I can’t otherwise fathom why you would live years with broken appliances. It doesn’t make sense to repair a 30 year old stove. Take careful measurements and get on the Home Depot site and order something with free delivery and set up. There are still appliances on sale for 4th of July. The day I have to get permission to replace something broken I’m outta here.
I had the cabinets in your avatar. We removed the doors, covered them with an oak veneer to match the old trim, stained the veneer and the old trim to a more modern darker color, lots of varnish, and added stainless knobs and pulls. It looks pretty darn good for not much money.
^This. @sylvan8798 - Your H doesn’t like change. I get that, I really get that. My H is the same. And I have had to drag him, more times than I can count, through scenarios like this. You have two choices here: 1. Keep the status quo but realize you will be sad and frustrated at the lack of a functioning kitchen for the rest of the time you live in the house. 2. Sit down with your H and tell him firmly that the kitchen is going to change. How much or how little is up for negotiation but at the very least, every appliance will be functioning. Doing nothing is not an option. He will put up a fuss, want to think about it, throw up every roadblock he can imagine, get really, really cranky but you’ll need to stay firm. This won’t be just one conversation either, probably more like several as he gradually gets used to the idea (while still being cranky). And while he’s still acclimating, start pulling your plans, design ideas, appliance choices, budget, etc. for what you want to do in a very matter of fact way. Make all the design choices if he doesn’t want to be involved or give him some choices if he does.
Only you can decide how much “pain” (grumpiness, whining, etc. on his part) you are willing to endure in order to get this done. I wish you the very best of luck. Oh, and if he’s really resistant…I wouldn’t hesitate to go on a “cooking strike” like @doschicos advocated.
He’ll find out that ordering out/eating out is pretty expensive, too.
Mr. B knows - in order for him to avoid cooking altogether, he has to make sure that the family chef has a functioning kitchen.