We had two different issues with early writing. D was a perfectionist and was slow at math because she took forever to draw those stupid pictures that one was supposed to draw to do the story problems. Similar with writing. S had issues with the prompts. He loved to write but wanted to write about what he wanted to write about. I still remember a visit with his 2nd grade teacher about his undone writing assignment (they did this formulaic 4 square technique) where DS insisted that there was nothing that he felt inspired to write about an autumn leaf and wanted no part of it. He hated the “write to the prompt” assignments. Still, D can write to any prompt and just go through the motions and phone in a lovely assignment or essay exam. DS wants to fully believe in whatever he puts on paper and agonize over it if the prompt is uninspiring.
I agree with what everyone else has said about this being much to long a day for a 1st grader and how younger children develop splinter skills at different rates. Both of my twins were barely reading in the middle of 2nd grade, by the end of the 1st quarter of 3rd they had both finished the entire Harry Potter series and by this current year (4th grade) both are reading on at least an early high school level.
One thing you need to be aware of is how much the common core has changed math curriculum across the country. Writing and reading are a huge focus of the math lessons. Is your son having problems with basic arithmetic or solving word problems. Common core math does not take into account young children’s development progress. I have seen many, many parents of K-2nd grade parents really struggling with their children’s school and home work this year. Standardized tests are now given 6 to 8 times a year. I figured out last year that two full weeks of school were consumed to standardized testing.
If he is reading above grade level and he is forced to repeat a grade he may become bored which could lead to behavioral issues.
I think many of us can look back and tell you what works and what doesn’t, what sounds right and what doesn’t. He’s still just a little guy. I don’t believe there are any studies that show early reading or early writing has any lasting impact on academic achievement. And without a dx and a specific plan, I believe being held back can do more damage than good. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a kid say, I’m 10, I should be in 5th grade, but I’m in 4th because I was held back. And down the road being 19 in high school is not a good thing either. Kids will grow and mature and often times be too old and outgrow high school.
I’m wondering if this school is a good fit. Schools like to display how fabulous their students are by having rigorous standards that aren’t necessarily meaningful. I really felt when my kids were in middle school they were reading books for show, not because they were appropriate for their age.
I don’t know if this book is still out there, but it’s a whole series on what your child should know by the end of 1st grade - and it’s for each grade. I’d be asking the school for this metric - what skills do they expect a first grader to have by the end of the year?
I’d echo others, stop making this boys life about academic achievement. No tutors. Let this boy have some down time to develop hobbies and interests. If I remember, that’s the age my son loved legos, which helped him develop small motor skills.
We had my son tested a few times over the years through a private neuropsychologist. I would do that instead of a public school assessment.
" I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a kid say, I’m 10, I should be in 5th grade, but I’m in 4th because I was held back. "
My 10th grader says this same thing. He repeated Preschool when he was 4/5 because the teachers didn’t think he was ready for kindergarten. So I would definitely think twice about repeating a grade it really can do a number on them.
Funny, my November birthday kid is now 30. We didn’t send him to K as an almost five year old. We waited. He works in a high school…and more than once he has told us that we absolutely did the right thing when he was little.
I have a son who was a bit like your son, highly intelligent but underachieving in the early grades. Mine had ADD and a LD that was holding him back. As is common with LDs his was diagnosed in first grade. Before then kids can often skate by. He was at the bottom of the class in 1st-2nd.
One of the best things we did for this child was to ease off on the academic pressure and give him plenty of time to explore his own interests. His school fed into a very rigorous 4-9 school but we chose to send him to the local public school instead. At the more rigorous school he would have had to dog paddle through middle school. At the less rigorous we could concentrate on his areas of weakness without overwhelming him.
What at first seemed like one of those pie-in-the-sky kiddie interests blossomed into a serious hobby in elementary school and into an adult style career by the time he hit 18. Had we kept him in the high pressure school he would never have had time to develop an interest that we’re certain played a big part in college admissions. He’s now at a top-20 LAC.
It sounds like one possibility is that your son is stressed out by the long day and reacting on the playground. Does he have plenty of time to hang out with friends? Organized sports can also be a great way to blow off some energy and connect with a peer group.
It sounds like you’re giving him lots of unstructured time. That’s good. In a study looking at the traits of highly successful adults the only trait they shared, beyond basic intelligence and drive, was that they had all spent a large amount of time in childhood in free play. Sometimes digging in the back yard with a stick wondering where worms go when it rains is better for a kid’s development than Kumon math and phonics instruction. If you decide he does need extra math work try to make it fun. IXL is a well regarded on line math practice program that’s not too onerous. Some kids prefer it to pencil and paper work simply because it’s on the computer. I wouldn’t push or you may make him resentful and resistant.
I agree with others that this may be a developmental issue that resolves itself on its own. I would also look at the research on grade retention. Much of it calls into question the idea that kids who are retained do better in the long run.
His story sounds great. When my kids were in first they used inventive spelling, letting kids write stories and not correcting spelling. All their stories looked like your son’s and they all learned proper spelling over time. My son did have bad handwriting, and he worked with a OT which helped.
That’s a long day already and I can’t see adding tutoring on top of it. He already does 45 minutes of homework? Our school considers 10 mins of homework per grade what students should get, so first graders would have 10 minutes of homework.
I would consider getting your own evaluation done. Talk to your pediatrician to discuss to see if it’s covered by insurance. You could also meet with the public school to discuss testing. Even if you are in a private or charter school the public school is responsible for testing and identifying any LD’s.
Another question to ask if you are considering repeating a year - What are you going to do differently next year that will make a difference? They need to present a plan that makes sense, not just we’re going to do the same thing and expect a different result.
Honestly if you want to help your kid with math. Take him to the grocery store and count oranges. Paint a room and figure out how many gallons of paint you need. Cook and measure the ingredients. Double the recipe. Halve it. And while you’re at it experiment with the ingredients. When my kid asked me why you put baking powder in biscuits, I said, “Let’s find out.” (We made a lot of biscuits and it turns out you can vary the proportions a lot before they are indedible!) For kids who don’t yet have fine motor skills work sheets may be torture. It turned out that my kid who was last in the class for multiplication math minutes could actually finish a sheet if he didn’t have to write the numbers down.