My husband attended Brown and then law school on substantial loans. If he were a college student now, given where his parents’ income fell, he would have no loans. He’s given to his alma mater every year since he graduated law school, even when it was financially hard for us to do so, initially small amounts and now around $1000 annually. So not enough for a developmental hook but enough to acknowledge his gratitude and to offer some support to the generations of kids who have attended brown on financial aid, like he did. That’s been his motivating factor from the get-go; he’s been overwhelming grateful that brown have him the loans necessary for him to attend. It made an enormous difference to his life, not least he’s been able to pay his own kids’ tuition.
In addition to his donations, he’s also interviewed for Brown, which he does because of his sheer love of the school, something he likes to share with prospective students.
Both our kids applied to Brown ED and were deferred. The deferral hurt more with the first because he was an excellent applicant (and thankfully admitted to Uchicago EA the same week, which took the edge off the pain for him). He was ultimately admitted RD, together w peer schools like Penn, WUSTL with no hook, which did make us wonder why the deferral. But we were so happy for him, and he was over the moon, that our love for brown was in no way dinged by the long wait.
Our second kid was lopsided and a tougher admit. His overall scores were high…2260, although not as high as his brother’s, but lopsided too…800 CR, 690 M, and that was reflected in his GPA…a 92 UW. So we sorta expected him to be deferred or rejected. He ended up applying ED2 to tufts and was accepted, and was also admitted to WUSTL and USC early bc he was a finalist for selective merit awards. So it’s possible that had he waited to hear back, he may have gotten in, though still unlikely. (And truth be told, tufts has worked out well for him: his academic, ECs, and personal experience at tufts has been phenomenal. It’s been a great fit.) But when he wrote the withdrawal email to his Brown admissions rep, he said something that really resonated with my husband and me: he told her that while he was disappointed he wouldn’t attend brown, the school will always hold a special place for our family, that he’d always be grateful to the University for all the possibilities it’s given his father and his brother, and consequently, the way it’s already impacted his own life. Honestly, when my husband and I read it, we were glassy-eyed. And because what he wrote is true, we have continued to give to brown just as before he was deferred (and most likely would have been rejected).
And yes, @MOMANDBOYSTWO, like you, my husband and I have found that our boys’ disappointments–deferrals/rejections from colleges, jobs, and now looming grad school apps–are worse than our own personal rejections, but also, their academic, job and personal successes bring us more intense joy than our own success. It’s so enriching to love people this intensely.