<p>“Frankly I think sending graduation announcements comes across sounding like a bid for gifts.”</p>
<p>Both of my sons felt that way, so neither sent graduation announcements.</p>
<p>
How about an “empty nest” registry? We could all register for dishes and glasses that match… teeny-tiny clothes hampers… stereos that play only “old people” music… fine wines and fancy cheeses… maybe a visiting masseuse. Who’s with me? :D</p>
<p>count me in, geek_mom!</p>
<p>I think there are opportunities for this older person gift-giving - 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries are parties for the older set. 50th birthdays, 40th birthdays and 30th birthdays all come to mind, too.</p>
<p>I LOVE the idea of an “Empty Nest” registry.</p>
<p>I need to replace:</p>
<p>The stinky towels with permanent creases from being balled up on the floor
All my partial sets of mismatched plates, glasses and silverware.
The lamps, picture frames, knick knacks that were cracked and broken by wayward balls
My entire wardrobe, circa 1990 (all my money goes to the kids clothes…they never stop growing!)</p>
<p>What would you register for?</p>
<p>An “Empty Nest” registry should be for things you have but no longer need and offers them to those who do need them.</p>
<p>That way, it’s a fine idea.</p>
<p>
Nail clippers, scissors, and tape. I’ve probably purchased a dozen pairs of nail clippers in the past couple of years… yet I couldn’t find a pair right now to save my life! Scissors, I can find occasionally, but they’re all dull from being used to cut wires and electrical tape or to whittle sticks. Oh, and tinfoil. Ever since my son discovered its wonderful sculptural properties (at age 7 or so), I haven’t been able to keep a box in the kitchen. How about unpopped bubble wrap? Always a scarce commodity in my house. I’m with you on the clothes, Jamie, although I did splurge on a $3.99 t-shirt at Joann’s a few weeks ago (now 5 for $10!!). And looking to a future with less commuting and more time to fill… I’d register for lots and lots of books!</p>
<p>And for toblin, who doesn’t seem to be in the spirit of the topic yet… sure, I have the following things to offer:
- several flat basketballs
- a couple pairs of very large, kind of smelly tennis shoes, perfect for tripping burglars in the night
- about a dozen nice ties deemed “too wild” (although the Marvin the Martian one is tame enough)
- sticks, dowels, tree limbs, stakes, broken arrows, and various other long, pointy things in assorted sizes and degrees of, um, pointiness
- a pantry full of high-calorie, high-carbohydrate foods… oh, wait, there’s still the summer to get through!</p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>OP here- - - this was a sincere thread. Please start your own if you want to discuss the possibilities of an Empty Nester Registry. You might find it hilarious, but I don’t. </p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>OP, I don’t agree that grad gift registries are a bad idea. I’ve already received calls from close family/friends asking if my D is registered anywhere (she isn’t, but will be by month end by popular request and to make our own shopping easier) and she hasn’t even sent her invitations yet! It IS tacky to include registry info in the invitation though - if people want to know this to make their gift selection easier, they’ll call you or your parents. I always do, unless there’s something specific I have in mind and really want to give. But including registry info often makes the invitee feel that you ONLY want the items that you’ve preselected, not to mention that you’re essentially asking for a gift, and that is off-putting. In the case of a baby/bridal shower, where clearly the intention is to help equip the bride for her new role, a registry reference would be acceptable, imho.</p>
<p>
I agree. Same here.</p>
<p>Agree with not sending announcements. We bought the minimum (10) sent only to grandparents, H & my siblings and had one to keep, that’s it. Am working on party invite, it will state “no gifts please”. D is fine with that. We realize that some people will likely give gifts anyway, but our intent is to celebrate D’s graduation and college acceptance and not to ■■■■■ for gifts . Many of the people on our guest list also have children graduating and will be invited to multiple parties (we are).</p>
<p>I am thrilled that the overwhelming majority of posters see this as tacky! I was afraid the idea was going to be promoted.</p>
<p>To the OP–Never, never, never get your ettiquette advice from someone selling you a product- this applies to stores, wedding consultants, etc.</p>
<p>Kollegkid, I think there are two different subtopics here:</p>
<p>1) Is the idea of a registry for high school graduation in and of itself tacky?</p>
<p>2) Is the idea of including the registry information in a graduation announcement or party invitation tacky?</p>
<p>It’s pretty unanimous that 2) is tacky. It’s not done with weddings, bridal showers, or baby showers, and those are events where the expectation that gifts will be given is FAR higher than a hs graduation. Heck, at a bridal shower or baby shower the whole point of the party is to watch the honoree open her gifts, and you still don’t give out the registry information on the invitation. So cross that one out.</p>
<p>As for the whole concept itself in 1). Sorry, it seems like a bid for gifts. I would anticipate that my children’s grandparents and maybe a few of our close friends who have watched them grow over the years would give them gifts, and those gifts would either be monetary or something really special. </p>
<p>Their friends? Why would their hs friends get them gifts for graduation when they are doing the exact same thing? </p>
<p>Have your party and enjoy it. No mention of gifts. If some come, then thank the giver profusely and be sure to get out a handwritten note within a day or two. Hs graduation does not obligate your friends and relatives to “supply” you for your college dorm needs. That’s your job and your parents’ job.</p>
<p>Congratulations!</p>
<p>
kollegkid, you might find everything here deeply serious, but I don’t.</p>
<p>Here’s what I was saying: In my opinion, expecting gifts to mark the event of your graduation from high school – to the point of specifying a list of gifts you want and including a pointer to where people can find your approved gift list – is as absurd and presumptuous as a mom registering for gifts to mark the event of her kid leaving the home. Neither party is entitled to the largesse of relatives, friends, teachers, and acquaintances who receive a graduation announcement in the mail. In the current economy, imho, such a move would be particularly tone-deaf and inconsiderate.</p>
<p>I preferred to make that point with a touch of humor. So sorry you missed it.</p>
<p>If people want to give you a gift but don’t have something specific in mind, they will ask your mom. Some close relatives or friends may really want to express their affection and pride with a gift, and will appreciate her insight into your current tastes and upcoming needs. So if there’s something your heart desires, let her know. Beyond that – tacky in the extreme.</p>
<p>I completely agree with the posts here - tacky and, from what I’ve seen, BBB is probably ripping these students off as to what they REALLY need for college. D came home from graduation rehearsal last week with a BBB coupon and a list of “dorm essentials”. H and I were howling with laughter over what BBB considered to be “essential”. Best way to handle it is to have Mom tell friends who are RSVP’ing and who ASK (big key here) what you might like to tell them where you’ve registered.</p>
<p>I think there is a difference between a mom with a regular income with a kid leaving home and a kid leaving to live in a dorm. The latter is without meaningful income and needs new things to set up an independent life. My grandmother, aunt, and older cousin have all offered to help me shop. I’ve already started receiving presents - - a purple purse, lots of stuffed animals and jewelry that I can’t take to college because it is too nice. Some people ask me what I need. It would be handy to say that I have a list of practical things - - sheets, a paring knife, a bike basket, a pasta cooker for the microwave, for example, that they could choose from. Ergo, I am sincere with my question. But the economy is bad right now and I don’t want to be seen as gift-greedy.</p>
<p>A mom with a kid leaving home already is set up with things she needs. There is a difference.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, I do not intend to send announcements now that I have read about how much people dislike them. I do not intend to register. I am having a party, though, and I’ll be sending out invites. </p>
<p>And I do send thank yous, even for the unwanted stuffed animals and purple purse.</p>
<p>Glad to hear you have heard all the above opinions and taken them to heart. Too many brides and young people have absorbed the sales tactics of stores and transgressed the decorum of good manners. When one receives a wedding or shower invitation, and ten small sheets of department store registration ads fall out of the envelope, that immediately sends up a pang of commercialism to negate the happy arrival of the invite.</p>
<p>I always feel like ignoring the suggested registries and mailing the latest volume of Emily Post to the bride. </p>
<p>Even for a high school graduate, a book of etiquette can be appropriate for the experiences of college: dinners with faculty, thank you notes to parents of classmates for meals or overnight visits, as well as wardrobe and interviewing advice for internships and jobs.</p>
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<p>I do not agree with the above. Both of my kids did their “shopping for college essentials” in our linen closet and their bedrooms. They were NOT starting an “independent life”. They were going to college. When they graduate from college, they will be (hopefully) starting an independent life.</p>
<p>Still…the folks invited to celebrate their graduations are being invited to CELEBRATE THEIR GRADUATIONS…not furnish their dorm rooms or apartments. I’m sorry but I do agree that a registry for high school graduates is tacky. VERY tacky.</p>
<p>I agree with the parents who have posted here. My kids refused to send out announcements and only invited very close family & virtually no friends to grad celebrations as they didn’t want to feel like they were “money grubbing.” They did bring small gifts to the grad celebrations of friends. We know of no one who “registered” for graduation or anything other than weddings in our state and would consider it very tacky.</p>
<p>Many in HI give cash for gifts anyway, as it’s always the right size & never needs to be exchanged. Our kids got most of their dorm & apartment stuff from our linen closet and then handed down by older brother to younger sister. We did purchase a few staples at Target & similar stores, but especially in these economic times frugality and staying within one’s means is very important.</p>
<p>In my case, my parents do not have extra long twin sheets in the cupboard. My mom only has one paring knife and it is too nice to take to college. We don’t have a microwave at home so I don’t have access to any old or duplicate microwave cooking supplies. So, there are things to buy. My parents will gladly outfit me with whatever I need, but, again, I was only thinking about how nice it would be to have practical gifts from those people who are so inclined as to give something.</p>