I was describing my son to another mom, who I had met briefly. The purpose of the phone call was to ask about the personality, environment and sports of one of the schools he had been accepted to. I said he’s a “regular boy next-door type who who enjoys many sports, Xbox, and ice cream.” I had called her because I know she has sons who are very similar to mine (in same sports leagues). Well, she proceeded to rip into me for using the word “regular,” and asked “who are you to say a ‘regular’ kid can’t be into ballet? Who are you to say what is normal? You can never use those words,” …blah, blah, blah. (By the way, her sons are not into ballet)
Is this the world we live in now? Should I just duct tape my mouth? Honestly, I would never try to hurt anyone’s feelings.
“Normal ” is also not politically correct. Nor is “typical”. That is, if the person in the conversation so feels. I use the terms all of the time with those to whom I converse.
I wonder if doctors can no longer use these terms to document temperature, blood pressure…
Apparently, “PC” is no longer PC:
“Over time PC has become a way to deflect, say that people are being ‘too sensitive’ and police language. It is disconnected from authentic understanding of impact.” My apologies in advance.
The term “politically correct” was coined by Stalin. Not a guy I want to imitate. In a country with free speech, there shouldn’t be any such thing as political correctness. Just don’t use disparaging or racist language. In other words, be polite.
Well… it can depend on where you live, who lived with you and who lives next more. Comments should be made and taken in context. I’ve heard very hurtful words used a lot around here where I am working as a matter of course and by those who are most hurt by the terminology. Where I live in NY, that language is unacceptable nd would be shut down immediately .
I’m happy to temper terminology around others though I won’t jump into local jargon especially what’s offensive to me. I give it wide berth. But it’s rude to be confrontative to others about it, imo. There are gentle , polite ways to state ones preferences.
I think it might be an opportunity for you to think about what you mean by “regular” and who, in your mind, is not. However, confrontation is not necessary. I don’t know if she was just trying to get you to think about it, or was super angry. Particularly if you use the term “regular” to associate it with sports, it could be a sensitive area for those with kids into the arts, or kids with challenges etc. It implies one group of insiders and then those who are not “regular” being outside. (There’s a lot of bullying of kids who aren’t “regular”!)
I think that your casual use of the term did not deserve someone ripping into you but at the same time it is a chance to look at ways in which you see things
P.C. culture. You couldn’t say that where I live. It’s exhausting. You don’t mean anything but its hard to always try to think about saying the correct thing. I miss the days when everything wasn’t offensive.
Saying Regular is saying what?
Can you be regular if you are gay? Or is only straight regular?
Can you be regular if you like show tunes? or do you have to like rock?
Can you be regular if you like volleyball? or do you have to like football?
Can you be regular if you like to read? or do you have to like video games?
Can you be regular if you like to wear eye makeup and enjoy sports? or do you have to just enjoy sports?
Can you be regular if you like sushi? or do you have to like ice cream?
Can you be a boy next door if you are black? or do you have to be white?
In any case are you making assumptions that some behaviors/attributes are “normal” and some are…“abnormal”?
Would what you say be different if you said:
“type who enjoys many sports, Xbox, and ice cream.”
vs.
“regular boy next-door type who who enjoys many sports, Xbox, and ice cream.” ?
Now we understand that there are tons of kids like your son…you probably meant that there was nothing stand out about your kid…but by saying “regular” and “boy next door” you are also implying what is “regular” = “normal”.
Maybe you meant “average garden-variety type who who enjoys many sports, Xbox, and ice cream.”
Average/normal/regular implies in the middle of the bell curve, in the central distribution.
Your average/ regular baby like bottles, pacifiers-- is that a rude statement? I’m not a malicious or ignorant person trying to spread hate. Please dont haze me (no offense to atmospheric water). Is “garden variety” offensive to fans of carnations and common shrubs? I’m kidding. My apologies to everyone for apparently supporting Stalin.
I’d probably go out of my way to use “regular” and “normal” with that woman going forward. I just don’t care much about social approval, which ironically makes me “abnormal” I guess.
@Valerie245 , I did not mean to say that you were “supporting Stalin,” only that the idea of a politically correct way of thinking came from him. It bugs me that people equate political correctness with moral uprightness, that there is only one way to think about an issue.
I’d rather just have a discussion with someone who disagrees with me for using the word “regular” to describe a person who doesn’t stand out, than to have to censor myself. If they are offended by the term, I’d like to hear why. It’s okay not to agree with someone that a term is offensive, as long as you resolve not to use it with them in the future.
Not the OP, but just wanted to say that I appreciate your gentle approach. There are plenty of words in the english language, so I’m happy to use other words when I know certain words can be offensive to others. This thread has made me more aware. But, I do tend to get defensive when people take an aggressive approach.
Still learning. Why is “average garden-variety” preferable to “regular”?
