We are the parents of the Groom and paying for the rehearsal dinner. We all had dinner there last night at the restaurant and went upstairs where the events are held so I could see the venue and take photos.
At first I was planning to just decorate the tables myself with flowers, candles, etc. However, my future DIL is Very hands on with the wedding and knows what she wants.
Should I take her with me to help decide these things? I just want to go to Home Living or whatever it’s called where things are a bit cheaper. I think I’m decent at decorating and DH is actually very good at it.
Do you think we should ask for their input or just do it?
I am doing 4x6 or smaller photos of them on each table as a fun little extra. Her mom and sisters are supplying the photos, as well as ones I have. I’m thinking 3 to 5 phots a table depending.
Plus I’m doing a foam poster of one of their engagement pics (36 x 24), and it’s prewritten “Welcome to The Night Before” and their names. I’m putting it on an easel surrounding by balloons at the entrance. I’m also have one made with the toddler photos on each side and a big one of them in the middle. I won’t tell them about the photos.
But what of the other?
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@conmama - my D’s wedding was May 4th and there was a welcome party hosted by the parents of the groom the night before. Since groom’s parents live across the country from where the wedding was held I asked them if they would like me to help with decorations for the welcome party. The MOG was very happy to have me take this on. I would not have done it without asking first since they were the ones paying for the party. It was a lovely venue and I just did flowers on the tables and it looked great.
I did not ask my D or her H for any input. They had done all of the planning of the wedding and I think they were happy not to have to think about this.
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I think that it was me I would at least need to “clear”/get the blessing of the couple to let me go ahead and take care of things. You can either ask them “do you want to be involved in the decorating of the rehearsal dinner?” or you can phrase it in your favor “are you good with me taking care of rehearsal dinner decorations?”
We did a foam board and we happen to have a nice tripod to display it - we used it at both the rehearsal and at the welcome area of the wedding (not a church).
We also did a photos as table numbers in little individual stands that turned out so cute but these were for the wedding. I’ll try and post some examples.
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I pretty certain that for ours we just showed up at the restaurant.
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If your DIL doesn’t ask, I’d’ do what you want and have it be a surprise.
My sister said her son and his fiancee are just done with the planning. They all had a conference call with the place for the rehearsal dinner and both bride and groom ended up with conflicts (because they still have jobs) and they told her ‘just do whatever you like.’ When anyone asks them anything, they say “Sure, that’s fine.”
Her mother is very much on the wedding day itself, making sure people RSVP and know where to park to get shuttle buses etc.
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I see now you already have a plan for the poster - sounds perfect! We ordered via either Etsy or vistaprint.
But here is an example of something to hold up your photos unless you want to buy frames for them all (can get expensive!) I bought these holders 12 for $5 and sprayed them brass
You can also order these from Amazon
https://a.co/d/0xoaxIG
Ours were “shorter” ones but held the pics up nicely
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Does the restaurant allow outside decorations especially candles? Hope you cleared that with the manager.
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For my son’s upcoming wedding he and fiancé planned everything, including rehearsal dinner and welcome party which DH and I are hosting. The wedding is across the country where she grew up. I just asked what they would like us to do and they said they were fine planning it all- they included us in invitation wording, menu planning. My DIL has great taste and style and she had a vision so we are now just taking on physical tasks of getting things to the venue, simple set up stuff. We have a great relationship w/s and fiancé so I think we’ve worked it all out fine- everyone seems happy so far!
It is tricky- I would ask them how much input they would like to have but say you have some ideas and would love to plan it all. They may be happy to have one less thing to do/ worry about!
I was going to have a name list printed and framed on each table. I like this idea, too. Can you have names inputted instead of a number?
My daughter made them and just used Canva (template US Letter, Landscape) to design them. I imagine you could add names but depending how many names it might be too busy on the photo??? Or the font might have to be small(er) to get the names on?
We are used to using Canva so it wasn’t too hard. There is a free subscription with limited graphics (but still lots) but depends how adventurous you are to figure it out! We also did wedding table assignments on Canva. Two 8x10’s that we framed and put in the welcome area - but a small wedding (75) and we did not do individual name place cards.
I would always ask if someone would like me to take the reins, especially regarding décor. An easy, “are you cool with me decorating the dinner tables”, or “have you got something you’d like to see for dinner table decorations” it feels less pushy and more helpful.
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I think I’ll do that. It’s sort of like “I want to do it”, but am flexible. And the way it is said will be inviting for her in case she wants to take part.
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I have actually never been to a rehearsal that had decorations. Guess I don’t run with a fancy crowd!
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IMO, my party, my decor. Obviously, i wouldn’t do anything that I thought they wouldn’t like and would run anything the least bit controversial past them, but much of what I did was a delightful surprise and they were so touched. Ds1 said that he almost cried, and I did see him tear up a couple of times.
Examples of surprise personal touches: Ds1 has a favorite ethnic dessert that my BIL makes for special occasions. This was Covid time so he wasn’t going to make it to the wedding, but we arranged for him to send a huge platter of the dessert. That REALLY touched ds1. I named two signature cocktails after their two dogs and incorporated framed pics and the drinks in a little display and they asked, “Can we take this home???” And it’s hanging on their dining room wall. THAT touched me. 
The venue was at a brewery of their choosing, but beyond that they let me plan my own party. They didn’t want a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner per se, so this was a welcome party for the wedding party, immediate family and any out-of-towners. It was so fun. And then the kids went their own way and all the adults went to our big Airbnb.
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Our rehearsal dinner restaurant was a great upscale pizza place. We didn’t need any decorations at all. Place looked great without any additions. Tablecloths and cloth napkins, water bottles with lemons. Small candles on the tables.
I’ve been to some great night before events with beautiful flowers either done by family or friends, or from a florist. Both were lovely too.
I do not think you need to have a lot of decorations.
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We are working on my daughter’s plans, and she’s getting married at a venue her MIL to be owns. She wanted a rehearsal dinner at a fancier place but I think I’ve convinced her to do a welcome party at the venue, either a BBQ catered thing or a food truck. That way she can invite all the out of town guests, which is just about everyone.
I’m thinking it will mostly be outside so no need to decorate too much, but if it rains we’ll need to move inside. Luckily the MIL-to-be has it all down, but I’d like to help too.
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I agree with @Youdon_tsay. Your party; your decor.
You’ve obviously already cleared the, “type,” of event they want since the venue has been chosen. I think seeking input on that is important - do they want casual, fancy, sit-down, buffet, etc. But, once you know the, “feel,” of what they are after (which I assume is largely dictated by the type of venue), then I wouldn’t get into the weeds with her about the details/specifics of decor. I mean, you are going to match that to the type of venue!! It’s not like you’d set hay bales around in a white-tablecloth type restaurant! Just like you wouldn’t put elaborate flower arrangements and sterling candelabras in a brewery!
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This sounds like plenty of decorations to me! The pictures on the tables. And the balloons and photo when folks arrive. @conmama
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Mother of groom here who also hosted rehearsal dinner. I did not ask I just said I would cover the decorations but get brides approval once done. I showed her the centerpieces I had made once they were done, which she loved but she did ask for one minor change to them which I happily did. It was all great.
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