I know there’s a wedding thread, but it’s a little overwhelming and I really need advice/opinions. S1 is getting married in March and we’re going to look at rehearsal dinner venues this weekend. I am not sure how alcohol is usually “done” at such an event. We have a reasonable budget, but not wiling to offer an open-ended booze party to the 40-50 guests. However, it seems tacky to use “tickets”. Any other good options?
I will ask each venue how they will handle this - just wanted to find out what you guys thinks works the best!
FYI, we’re offering a reasonable dinner with an option to gift the bride/groom a cash amount that they can use for a “welcome party” OR they can add that amount into the dinner for a more upscale experience. They will likely decide to do the welcome party themselves after the rehearsal dinner ends (and the old people leave ;-).
Could you just offer the option of a welcome cocktail then switch to wine poured at the table at dinner? Or just beer and wine? I guess to me it would depend on the venue/tone of the dinner. How casual/ how formal. Or is even that much alcohol more than what you had in mind?
Open bar can get crazy expensive for 50 people. If you want to offer alcohol but keep the price down, consider offering selected beer and wine only. Pick a red and a white, and a few beers. Anything else your guests can pay out of pocket at the time of purchase if the venue supports it.
When I invite people to my party, I pay for all food and drinks, but it is up to me as to what I offer. It is your decision as to what you want to offer as drinks, and it may mean no alcohol, but it is tacky to use tickets or have people pay for drinks, IMO. If you want to offer alcohol, I would serve wine/beer/soft drinks.
I’ve been to events where the cocktail (or champagne) is handed to people as they arrive, then wine at the table can be rationed to reasonable amounts. I like my drinks, but I think that is a perfectly reasonable approach.
I think it would also be okay to have no cocktail - if dinner is served promptly. 40-50 seems huge for a rehearsal dinner.
Having just done this, I think you could choose 2-3 wines and a similar selection of beers and ask for a self-save bar in the room in which you will be having the dinner. You choose the price point for the wine and ask them to only open bottles as they are finished so you don’t pay for any unopened bottles. @mathmom, we had 80 for the rehearsal dinner, so 40-50 seems small to me! Our venue was a beer hall and there was an open bar (no site fee, just a bar minimum) but most people took advantage of the self-serve option and our consumption was far less than I expected.
I would not have tickets and would limit beverages to wine, beer, and soda. That’s what my D and son-in-law did. They added a cocktail before dinner that was made with champagne, which was served before dinner.
D is getting married in May so this is a timely subject.
I like the limited selection of wine and beer option with the possible addition of two special mixed drinks. Something the bride and groom would pick. A margarita and a manhattan maybe? Not really up to date not current mixology favorites. In D’s case they plan to offer two specialty drinks at the wedding, hadn’t thought about making it part of the rehearsal dinner.
So much depends on the kind of rehearsal dinner you are planning. If it’s cocktails followed by a sit-down dinner it may be one thing, if it’s a cocktail party with heavy hors d’oeuvres it may be something else, if it’s a bbq outdoors, yet something else again. I agree with @oldfort and the others that if you are hosting, you can decide how/what to offer in terms of alcohol but I am in the camp that if you invite people to dinner and intend to offer alcohol, you should provide it. Not a fan of drink tickets or cash bars for these events.
agree tickets are tacky. 40-50 guests sounds like a lot to me for a rehearsal dinner. Are there 15 bridesmaids and 15 groomsmen? Also feel soliciting for a money gift is tacky.
Agree w/ oldfort- you are the host, you provide, but you decide.
A lot of rehearsal dinners include extended family/ out of town guests these days so 40-50 guests isn’t unusual. They’ve kind of morphed into welcome dinners.
Wine and beer only (plus soft drinks and water) is perfectly reasonable at “rehearsal,” “welcome,” and “reception” events/dinners, IMHO. I come from a family of drinkers, and no one would question this for a moment.
There is no need for an open bar serving hard liquor. Tickets seem tacky to me. At a dinner, having wine on the table in carafes or bottles is fine. People can order individual beers, or if the event is at a place where pitchers seem normal, that’s fine too.
What are people “rehearsing” anyway? We never had a wedding, and kiddo opted for minimal festivities. Nothing to rehearse.
I organized a couple of holiday dinners for our small company. We picked a red, a couple of whites (fish restaurant), and a limited selection of beers. It was a sit down dinner with appetizers before that. No cocktails of any kind… folks mingled with their wines and beers then proceeded to sit down. We were charged only for the bottles that were open. And we specified our booze budget not to exceed X. I suppose something like this can be done for a rehearsal dinner.
My son’s wedding is this weekend. Our rehearsal dinner is barbecue for 19 (I lobbied for more but was vetoed).
They are using a community room and can bring in their own drinks, so I was in charge of getting the drinks. I bought some soda, domestic beer (because I buy craft beer for parties here and everyone takes the domestic first). I bought a red wine, a Chardonnay and a super sweet moscato (because the bride likes it and I can’t stand it, lol). And some local hard cider. I’m hoping it will be a good variety. There will also be water on the tables.
I help host a card club every year and this is what I usually buy for that. Beer, red wine, a dry white and a sweet white. The cider is different but I know my daughter and I like it and I wanted to try something different.
Our rehearsal dinner will be on a Friday for a Sunday wedding. It will have only the immediate family, wedding party and SO (who probably aren’t arriving until Saturday) who are there and that’s it. Maybe 30 people. MOG is planning that…and it’s her event. TBH, I don’t care if she has alcohol or not. But it’s going to be a nice dinner!
We are hosting a very informal welcome party the night before the wedding from about 7-9 or so…salads, party pizza, something else TBD, and that’s where we think beer, wine or soft drinks will be served. Right now…that is still not fully planned. We are guessing 50 or 60 at that…all of the out of town guests who are there, relatives and friends…and local folks who want to come by (doubt the local folks will do so).
ETA…as all of you are finding…the cost of alcohol can really drive the price up. Our daughter actually doesn’t care about the alcohol…and luckily our welcome party venue will do a consumption cost for beverages.
Like @Deb922, my son is getting married this weekend. We are having a rehearsal followed by a rehearsal dinner this Friday, followed by a cocktail party for a larger group. 24 people at the dinner, 38 at the cocktails. I opted for a “per consumption” bar bill, because I think it’s going to be best for my pocketbook. Some people will only drink soft drinks; some will want mixed cocktails; some will just want wine or beer. I had the option of a “wine/beer” per person charge or a “full bar” per person charge, and I think we’ll come out best this way. Who knows!
We never had a wedding, and kiddo opted for minimal festivities. Nothing to rehearse.