Adding…I choose bottles of wine based on how much I like the label. I have no idea what it tastes like, and I don’t care…because I don’t drink it.
My husband loves a good bottle of wine, and he will often get one when we have guests…because otherwise he is drinking by himself.
I will tell you, my husband never opens wine that guests bring as hostess gifts. Some have been really crappy wines (how about a blueberry wine my MIL brought to dinner and was raving about…we put it aside. Good thing. When we opened it, it smelled like dirty socks). If, and I mean IF my husband wants wine…or beer…served with dinner, HE prefers to make the choice. Not have the dinner guests make the choice.
Well…except for the friend who has a 1000 bottle wine cellar…now HE can bring wine to our house.
But back to the topic of the thread. There is a huge difference in having a couple of bottles of wind for dinner for 8, and having choices of red and white for a crowd at a rehearsal dinner…where you are already paying for the meal.
I mentioned to my 17-year-old daughter that her grandparents wouldn’t like alcohol or dancing at her wedding reception, and she said, “No dancing?!? That’s crazy! I’m going to dance at my wedding. The ‘no alcohol’ is OK, but I’m going to dance!” Oh, well, I won’t worry about it before the time comes.
ML, just curious, am guessing that may be a religious issue, but is it fair to let the grandparents have such a strong influence over the granddaughter’s special day? Unless they are paying, then they get a vote
Ironically, I just poured myself the last glass out of an open bottle of cabernet that we opened last week sometime. I have a history of neck surgery and back problems. I did something to my neck/upper back today, and I am in a fair amount of pain. I figure better to have a glass of wine every once in a while than to get hooked on vicodin!
I grew up Southern Baptist, and most weddings I went to before I graduated from college were punch/cake affairs. That changed later. I don’t think I’ve been to a wedding in a long time where alcohol was not offered. Of course, not everyone drinks at these functions, so it’s imperative to offer non alcoholic options.
We had our rehearsal dinner at a local steak house. I imagine alcohol was served, but I honestly don’t remember. At our wedding, we had a wine and beer bar, but no open bar with liquor. I wanted to provide some alcohol to my guests, but didn’t feel required to go beyond that. Plus, no way open bar was in the budget.
I don’t know that I can add a lot here that hasn’t already been said. I look at it as wine and beer enhance the meal, but would never be ANGRY if no alcohol was served. DH and I would probably go out afterwards to have a glass of wine somewhere, if I’m being honest.
We will serve wine and beer only at our daughters’ weddings most likely. If we were part of the decision making process of the rehearsal dinner, we would also offer wine/beer. No liquor, though. No need in contributing to a hangover on the wedding day. That’s on them if that’s what they want.
No, it absolutely is not the same thing. You won’t be consuming a fraction of your guests’ alcohol against your will simply by serving them a glass of wine.
However, there is NO reason why you should have to serve alcohol in your own home if it makes you uncomfortable.
I don’t ever drink beer, mainly because I just don’t care for it. But I’m not uncomfortable serving it to others, so I would definitely have some on hand if I had a social gathering at my house.
I don’t drink hard liquor, with the exception of the occasional vodka mixture. But we keep most brands in the house for the occasions where we have people over simply because we view it as being hospitable. Likewise, when hosting others, we have all manner of nonalcoholic beverages available for anyone who wants it.
" I choose bottles of wine based on how much I like the label."
I drink wine and I pick by how much I like the label/name often. TBH, there isn’t much difference in $10 a bottle wines so choosing by label is as good a way as any.
The one cheap wine I can’t stand is Yellow Tail. I’d rather drink bleach.
That is so incredibly arrogant, in addition to being rude. I would seriously be tempted to show that person the door immediately. Someone so disrespectful to everyone else in the room isn’t really deserving of any consideration on my part imo.
I guess I usually viewed it as a hostess gift, like @PizzaGirl. I think in the future, I will go ahead and open it up. If they really just meant it as a hostess gift, that’s not likely to bother them. If they were hoping to offer it up to the table, it will make them happy.
Wonder how many of those “hostess gift wines” are really ones received by the person bringing them to you…because THEY got them as a hostess gift and they are not terrific! Then the person would be mighty disappointed that you opened and served!
I admit that if a wine is brought that is not opened during the meal, and it isn’t likely to be one we’d enjoy for any of a variety of reasons, it might get re-gifted. If the recipient opens it, thats fine, and we would drink it if served. As mentioned earlier, have discovered that unless its a special occasion or there is a reason to bring a very nice or very special wine, an average one is perfectly fine. There are plenty of good wines out there.
We were invited to a seder by some sweet friends. They had some Kosher for passover wines but were more than fine with other wines too. The DH told me his wife likes zins, and I purposely brought a special bottle we brought back from a Sonoma winery that is owned by a woman, and whose wines have been served at the white house. I knew this friend would love that the winery is female owned/operated. Well, we brought this bottle of Zin as a special gift for her, and it got mixed in with all the everyday wines that were out/that people brought, and I noticed that the “young group” (the 22-29 year olds) were about to open it, as they were quickly going through some of the other wines, and just grabbed this one. I had to delicately retrieve it and let them know that was a special gift for the hostess. The young kids can drink the everyday stuff!! They most likely wouldnt know the difference!
If anyone’s curious, Miss Manners would never be offended if she brought wine to a party and it wasn’t served. Expecting or asking it to be served is actually insulting to the hosts – you’re implying the hosts have somehow fallen short. That being said, if I get a vibe that a guest might want to try the wine, I ask them. I say something like “hey, I’m not a wine expert, but I’ve got X and Y bottles open now. Should we open this too?” Then they can tell me to put it away for later or say “sure” and no one’s feelings are hurt.
@jym626, my parents have been so generous over the years, that it would be hard for me to offend them. They really are amazing people. They helped us buy the land for our house, as well as a used car. Everywhere I look in our house I see things they bought us. They even paid part of our son’s tuition when he was OOS at UT-Austin. They’ve also paid an attorney a good bit to figure out how my sister and I will get the most inheritance possible. And they probably WOULD offer to help pay for our kids’ weddings!
I know it’s hard to understand. My dad grew up in a tiny town in west Texas, in a church that had been attended by several generations of his family. In his mind, it is THE church. And there is no arguing with him! Even when he travels overseas, he attends Sunday services of the nearest Church of Christ. If there is no church in the area, my mom goes with him so they can worship together. But there are churches most places. There was a house church in Massachusetts that they would attend when they visited us. I would go with my mom when she visited alone. It was a painful experience - the man was not a very good speaker. He’s an electrical engineer who just got a job in Austin, so I won’t have to endure any more services at his house. Whew!
@MaineLonghorn, aww, it’s very nice to see adult children speaking so lovingly of their parents. I hope my girls have such nice things to say about us.
We have some really good single malt whiskey’s but we rarely actually drink them. I do run out of vodka because it gets used in vodka and I also use it to preserve ginger. If we have a big party and people bring wine it gets put out and usually ends up being drunk. We rarely give a sit down dinner, but if we did we’d probably start with whatever wine we’d chosen and then move to the one we were given if we finished ours up. (Assuming it went with the meal.) Some of our hard liquor is 20 years old.
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I guess I usually viewed it as a hostess gift, like @PizzaGirl. I think in the future, I will go ahead and open it up. If they really just meant it as a hostess gift, that’s not likely to bother them. If they were hoping to offer it up to the table, it will make them happy."
If they are indeed wine-unengaged regifters / declutterers, you’ll be able to tell since they won’t drink it once you do open it!
Too lazy to go back downstairs but I should post the wines I have and see if I have swill I should put on my salad along with olive oil, or whether this is like Antiques Roadshow where something turns out to be worth a lot!! It will at least help me gauge my re gifting, lol.
It is not going to be “worth” a lot. In the unlikely event somebody has given you – someone who doesn’t like wine – a really special bottle, they would have TOLD you it was special. Or they would have told you a little story about why it is special to THEM. So no worries that you are letting some nice bottles molder away!
I am changing the subject a bit, but I come from a pretty heavy drinking town. When my wife and I gave a party for a couple who were getting married we decided not to just leave the whiskey bottles out on a table for people to pour their own. And I bought some do-hickeys to stick on the bottles that dispense exactly 1.5 ounces of liquor. No, it’s not going to stop someone from getting drunk, but might stop them from getting wasted! So if you are going to have alcohol, hire a bartender or take turns tending bar. And try to promote beer and wine over the hard liquor. That’s just my view. I’m a pretty hard-partying guy, but I see a lot of folks just taking things a bit too far.
H has been nursing a gift bottle of a “special occasion” wine given to me for my B-day.
It is awful. I would not even use for cooking.
Each to their own!
EVD, clever! Did not know that such a do-hickey existed.
D and all of her friends drink mixed drinks–all complex and interesting and measured perfectly.
I am a toss some in, add the tonic and lime and it is good to go.
