<p>The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.</p>
<p>Here are this year’s winners:</p>
<li><p>Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.</p></li>
<li><p>Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly</p></li>
<li><p>Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.</p></li>
<li><p>Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.</p></li>
<li><p>Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.</p></li>
<li><p>Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.</p></li>
<li><p>Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.</p></li>
<li><p>Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.</p></li>
<li><p>Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.</p></li>
<li><p>Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)</p></li>
<li><p>Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s
like, a serious bummer.</p></li>
<li><p>Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.</p></li>
<li><p>Glibido: All talk and no action.</p></li>
<li><p>Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.</p></li>
<li><p>Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.</p></li>
<li><p>Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.</p></li>
<li><p>Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm
in the fruit you’re eating.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>And the pick of the literature:</p>
<li>Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an
*******.</li>
</ol>