<p>University Admissions Appeals Committee
Office of Admissions
San Diego State University
5500 Campanile Drive
San Diego, CA 92182-7455</p>
<p>To Whom It May Concern: </p>
<pre><code>I was upset to find out upon my rejection from the college of my first choice. I would like to thank you sincerely for your additional time and further consideration of my application to the San Diego State University. I am writing this appeal because I feel that I am an extremely qualified candidate for admission into the mechanical engineering major.
I believe that all great things come from those who pursue with a why. This is my “why”. I remember telling my older sister my dream of attending college at San Diego State my freshman year. She told me that I’d never be able to do it because there were many other people more qualified than I could be. I took that as my motivation, my “why”, to one day prove her wrong. I never wanted to believe her, especially since none of my siblings have ever attended college, and I refuse to give up now. It is through San Diego State University that I plan to become a Naval Officer. If given the opportunity to attend San Diego State as a mechanical engineer, I would accept such invitation with no hesitation.
It has been a lifelong dream to serve as a Naval Officer as an engineer one day. However, in order for me to become a Naval Officer after schooling, I must attend a four year university such as San Diego State University. Also, an individual must be in the NROTC program for four years in order to enter the military as a Naval Officer, so transferring from a community college is not an option for me. I am clearly aware of the other schools that host the NROTC program, but San Diego State University is my first choice because I was born nearby the institution and it is the NROTC program with the main drill area which considerably makes it the better school to attend for the Naval Officer experience in comparison to University of California of San Diego and University of San Diego.
There are several reasons for my inconsistent academic performance. One major reason was my extracurricular priorities. My dedication to NJROTC, my love for robotics, and my passion for basketball hindered the time I had for studies. For example, my freshman year schedule for the whole week was Armed Drill team practice immediately after school until 5:00 p.m. and then basketball practice afterwards, ending around 7:30 p.m. To add on to my stressful high school career, I transferred schools sophomore year, due to my father’s service to the military. This is where my grades took a significant dip and I received my first “C” in high school. I could never really find myself in that school until I joined NJROTC again and tried out for the basketball team for the school. I continued to focus on the extracurricular activities more than I did my academics which is where I faulted. The following junior year is where I focused on my academics more than the extracurricular activities. While taking an AP class; I achieved a 4.0 GPA both semesters while contributing to my nationally ranked NJROTC unit as a cadet officer. Although my SAT and ACT scores were not superb, I kindly ask that my hard working ethic not be determined by just one test, but my high school experience overall.
I would like to encourage you to consider my case in its entirety and see that my inconsistent GPA and average test scores not reflect of the performance I can bring to San Diego State University. I would like to encourage you to offer me acceptance to San Diego State University because, as my recent academic record shows, I am capable and willing to take advantage of the opportunities a premier university like San Diego State University has to offer. Moreover, I would like to encourage you to see my life experiences, struggles, and values as something which will add to the rich diversity at San Diego State University.
Thank you for your further consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
</code></pre>
<p>“hindered the time I had for studies” – incorrect use of the word
Also, split of the paragraphs. Shifting ideas? CHANGE PARAGRAPHS. Big paragraphs make it uninviting. Honestly, I had no desire to read this upon firth glance. It’s not bad to have 10 paragraphs, even if one of them is 2-3 sentences. Seriously.
Show them that you’re a nuanced writer. I can’t think of any institution that wouldn’t want someone with the ability to clearly present their ideas; it’s the basis of all intellectual endeavor and discovery.</p>
<p>How long do you have till you need to send this? I think you should hold off and get more feedback. I can give you a little but I have not researched about successful appeals so I don’t know the in’s and out’s. I can only comment on the letter itself for what it is.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>No NO on the first sentence. It puts ppl on the defensive to say you are upset (with them). Do no say this. At best you are disappointed, but I wouldn’t bother.</p></li>
<li><p>It is far too long. It is more effective to make it to the point. You have rambling and extraneous stuff in there that needs to be edited.</p></li>
<li><p>Quit repeating the long name of the school over and over. It is annoying and drags the writing down and makes more words that are not needed. Just once, then SDSU and you don’t have to keep naming it. They know who they are.</p></li>
<li><p>Not 'To whom it may…", but Dear Admissions Committee, or Admissions Officer</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Suggest you flip the bottom to the top. Here is a stronger start by not changing much at all:</p>
<p>I’m writing to appeal my rejection from San Diego State University for Mechanical Engineering, my first choice college. I would like to encourage you to consider my case in its entirety and see that my inconsistent GPA and average test scores not reflect of the performance I can bring to San Diego State University. I would like to encourage you to offer me acceptance to San Diego State University because, as my recent academic record shows, I am capable and willing to take advantage of the opportunities SDSU has to offer. Moreover, I would like to encourage you to see my life experiences, struggles, and values as something which will add to the rich diversity at San Diego State University.</p>
<p>That’s all the free advice I have for now. Can you run this by your GC or a friendly teacher for help? And where do your gpa and SAT stand with respect to accepted students?</p>
<p>meh. too long, ramble-like, and what i personally didn’t like the most, clueless. </p>
<p>you list like every minor detail in your life but at the end of the day excuses are just excuses.</p>
<p>your sister says you aren’t good enough to make it into SDSU and that is your motivation? It’s not like SDSU is even a top tier school. </p>
<p>Overly dramatic. you make it seem like your entire life is over if SDSU doesn’t accept you. The fact is you still have an opportunity to prove your worth by going to CC for 2 years before transferring. </p>
<p>To put this into proper content. If you are rejected for mechanical engineering it means
A) they have other more well qualified candidates -> so you gotta make yourself more well-qualified B) they don’t think you can handle the course / they don’t wanna admit a person into engineering who will just end up dropping out -> prove you can handle course load. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what the point of the letter is. They’ve already seen your full app which presumably includes most of this info. What new info is there that should lead them to reconsider a rejection?</p>
<p>SDSU selects students based on objective stats like GPAs and SATs and ACTs. The hard truth is that your stats were not competitive. You have explained many reasons for that, but many students deal with difficulties and manage to excel. You mention that during your freshman year, your drills ended every day at 7:30pm. So what did you do with your time from 7:30 until midnight each day? No time to work on academics? Weekends? You demonstrated the same kind of maturity that many students do once they hit their junior years and start to get serious, and you are to be commended for that. Were your freshman and sophomore grades that devastating? Seems like you would have been prevented from bring on NJROTC or sports teams with awful grades.</p>
<p>You have chosen a very demanding major, Mechanical Engineering, that requires significant aptitude in higher level math. Have you considered that your choice of high school core classes perhaps made you less competitive? And then combine that with the objective SAT and ACT which evaluate your raw intellectual ability and ability to function under stress, then perhaps the school just did not see your potential? Or there were just many more well-qualified students that had already proven their abilities? As you say over and over again in your letter, you want to be able to prove your abilities, and you want them to reconsider you even though you have yet to prove those abilities. While your letter could be improved grammatically and structurally, the question is if you ought to send it. I don’t think you should.</p>
<p>I think your time would be better served talking with an NROTC advisor about your options. Some students do enroll in community colleges and then apply as sophomores and then do the whole program, right? You need to prove your aptitude at a community college, and then earn an acceptance at SDSU (noting that you need to have a second and third choice, and need to be open to that.)</p>
<p>The message I get from your letter is that you do not accept that the admissions officers know what they are doing when they review applications. You now want an holistic review of your application, and SDSU does not do holistic reviews. They use objective measures, and they reviewed your application according to those measures and found it lacking in some way. I realize you are disappointed. But surely you can pursue other paths to your dream and learn from this experience? Don’t send the letter.</p>
<p>In general, the successful appeals add NEW information, and the only thing that I can see that is “new” is pointing out the obvious: that you had a grade drop when changing schools. (Of course, they can see that on your app because it shows two high schools.)</p>
<p>But in any event, one C would not preclude you from SDSU. But more importantly, telling an adcom that were too busy/tired from ECs to study in high school, is not a good sales pitch for college, particularly since you start out that you NEED to attend SD solely for its EC, and extremely rigorous major; a lose-lose appeal, IMO.</p>
<p>Sorry, but if this is all the New information you have, you will not be successful. Better to ask your GC to call on your behalf.</p>
<p>It is not true that receiving a Navy commission through NROTC requires 4 years of NROTC. It can be done in as little as 2 years (junior and senior years). </p>
<p>Not sure about where drills are done, but University of San Diego is the host school (main unit) for NROTC in San Diego. Double check on where drills are held. I do understand that SDSU and USD cooperate closely, but not sure if drills are held on both campuses.</p>
<p>The only way your appeal would be considered is if your SAT rose (a lot) along with your GPA (a little). SDSU is one of the most competitive Cal States and you just didn’t make the cut; if you don’t have new numbers, your case won’t even be considered.
In addition, the major you requested is extremely rigorous and even more difficult to get into than SDSU itself. You may appeal asking for admission into a new major where the impaction is less but even then if you don’t make the cut numerically, you don’t. There’s no holistic review - for holistic review, you need a 3.0-3.2 and UCM, UCR.
Have you applied to USanDiego? Can you go to community college in SD (keeping your commission) then transfer for junior year?</p>
<p>Has anyone ever heard of an appeal being successful except maybe in a case where some egregious error was made by the GC/high school or some major piece of objective information (eg, test score) was not included or incorrect in the file? Every year we see students appealing, but I think the odds of success are very small in general, and pretty much zero without some change to the information they rely on to make the decision. </p>
<p>Make sure, however, to make great grades. Shoot for a 4.0 because the Navy knows that CC’s are not very demanding.</p>
<p>Also, another path to a Navy commission is the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy. It is the easiest of the academies to get admitted to, and you can apply from any college or university – including a community college.</p>
<p>Pursue that dream… “Failure is not an option” right?!</p>