@MidAtlanticDad1 First of all, welcome to the CC BS forum! I hope you find the group helpful and inviting.
Secondly, I can attest to SMS as far as inclusion and acceptance. We are URMs from the South. DS is a senior there. His views are vastly different (cultural, political, economical…you name it) from many of those at SMS. But he is well-respected among his peers. He found it very refreshing to have intelligent discussions about these subjects with his peers without condemnation. The community there respects opposing viewpoints and appreciates being informed about issues they may only hear about from the media but never experience first-hand. He was never ostracized for his beliefs or made to feel inferior. St Mark’s prides itself in choosing kind kids and promoting a kind environment. It is truly a wonderful community.
IMO, most BS’s will have this type of inclusive atmosphere. If not acceptance, than tolerance. Some will be better at it than others. There are some schools that still have a “good ol’ boys” feel - as I have heard from parents at other places. But I think they are all working hard to curb this approach.
I hope this is helpful for the SMS part- as that is the only school we have personal experience with.